Idiots and mobile phones:

My question is should an "idiot?" be supplied a mobile phone? The answer to my question is NO.
One of my fellow co. workers ("idiot?") is provided with a mobile phone for work but he has selective use of this instrument. During the working week he seems totally unable to switch it on or if he does and you leave him a message he claims to be totally unable to retrieve the said message. But on the weekends he seems to be able to fathom the use of it for two days and then by a Monday NO it's all gone again and you can't get hold of him! I keep telling him I can tell by the monthly bill he uses it on the weekends but he just mutters and wanders off.
During the summer this said individual ("idiot?") was selling his car and of course he put his mobile phone number on the ad. We were in the warehouse working and drinking a cup of tea at he same time and his mobile phone rang. He jumped a mile in the air made his tea fly every where shouting "bloody hell what's that noise?" and all it was, was his mobile phone ringing in his shirt pocket. He was so unfamiliar with it actually ringing it had frightened the life out of him. I laughed so much I nearly cried.

How does a mans brain work?

Yesterday one of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") was expecting a customer to come down and look at some carpet tile samples but he had to go out so he gave them to me to show. "how much a square metre are they?" says I knowing the customer would ask this question. "oh about ten pound + the V.A.T" says my fellow co. worker "what all of them?" "yes." Well I thought that doesn't sound right to me so I asked for the exact costs. One range was £10 per m2 another £12 per m2 and the third was £19 per m2 all plus the V.A.T. so if the customer had liked the third range and I had told hime they were £10 per m2 I would have been way off beam with the cost through no fault of my own. I wonder if my fellow co. worker would have admitted it was his mistake I don't think so!

Be sure your sins will find you out

I am a firm believer that if you bide your time and some of your fellow co. worker are "idiots?" they will sin and it will catch up with them.

One of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") thinks he's clever I have told him before I miss nothing and I'm here all the time so I know what's going on. Not long ago he sinned badly on his day off and I warned him then I am no bodies fool if you sin I may not find out straight away but chances are I will find out.

Yesterday morning about 9.00 o'clock the phone went it was a customer who had purchased some vinyl about two weeks ago supply only. My fellow co. worker ("idiot?") it turns out had sold her the vinyl in store asked me a price for fitting and then relayed he would fit it for less on the day he doesn't work. In my eyes this is a sin he swears blind he told me he was going to do this but I know full well he didn't because as now I woud have viewed it as being unprofessional. You don't ask an electrician to do your plumbing and you don't ask an "idiot?" to fit your flooring. Years ago when he fitted flooring he wasn't that good at it and he hasn't fitted now for at least fourteen years so he's not going to be good at it now for sure.


Now I have an unhappy customer phoning me to nag him to sort out her flooring that is obviously not up to standard when it's nothing to do with me. And he's avoiding me because he knows I have sussed him out again. That's the thing with "idiots?" they just don't know when there well off and they have to push the boundaries.

My cloud has burst with no silver lining

My double glazing saga continues. On Monday I thought we were all settled I had yet another meeting with main main man with achey boll***s and he agreed that I could go ahead and use another company to remove and replace his appalling windows.

Yesterday I was cashing up at the end of the day I had locked the door and was just closing everything down when a woman knocked on the window. Being the ever helpful retailer I thought she was a customer so I asked a fellow co. worker ("idiot?") to unlock the door and let her in. In she strode and introduced herself and it was the lady who works for appalling window company. "Oh hello" says I "nice to meet you I wanted to thank you for all your trouble even though it hasn't worked out I appreciate what you've done" "yes" says she and handed my a letter. Me in my naivety thought this contained what we had agreed on Monday. But no did it hell main main man with achey boll***s is not a man of his word and he has changed his mind and wants to come again and try and repair the appalling windows. This he will do over my dead body I have organised for alternative windows to be installed as we agreed and I'll see him in court if I have to.

The only good thing to come from this encounter after 5.00 last night was a telephone call for a repeat order. So during all the fracas I managed to sell some vinyl to a customer long after I should have been at home cooking my tea I was still selling.

Honesty is the best policy

Today we had a visit from one of our least favourite reps. I don't know why but there's nothing you can like about this man.

He came in peddling his wares which we didn't want to buy (we would rather purchase from some one we like don't ask me why) had a cup of tea and then proceeded to tell us about his other job.

Apparently he has just given up his lucrative weekend job as a taxi driver in Bristol. He informed all who would listen that between Friday night and Sunday afternoon he could earn £1000 per weekend. He's obviously full of bull**** because I'm pretty sure he doesn't earn that much being a sales rep. But he continued with his story even when we looked at him sceptically he obviously can't read faces. He proceeded to tell us he made this amount by basically ripping off the drunks. One fare that should have amounted to £7.50 he got £63 for he was given a £20 note and told to keep the change and he said there was 3 stuck together and the rest was change he found on the seat. He also told us that he would ask for £20 for his fare when the drunk gets in the cab and then drive around a bit drop the fare off after he had a little sleep and then ask for £20 again and invariably they would pay him twice. I am now never going to trust this rep ("idiot?") ever again am I so why did he tell me this story?

Every cloud has a silver lining

My usually sunny disposition has a severe dent in it again. In the small window of sunshine that occurred on Sunday I took the opportunity to clean my new windows. I wish I hadn't bothered I discovered 3 more damaged panes and then the heavans opened and I was rained off. My other half went upstairs to bathroom and shouted for me to go up "please tell me I'm ****** dreaming" he said as we watched the water running down the wall from the leaking bathroom window. I am now now waiting for visits to get quotations to replace my replacement windows so I hope there is a cloud out there with a silver lining just for me!

Better frame of mind

I am in a better frame of mind today I have checked the windows and at last after ten agonising days I think I have nice windows. I don't think main main man with achey boll***s has made any profit from my job because I think on Thursday most windows were replaced but so far so good when the rain stops I might clean them but that might be different story.

I was thinking earlier about Thursday and I remembered I had a visit from one of my favourite sales reps. and his boss. In they trotted about 2 o'clock and said they had come for a coffee and a laugh because they have a new big boss who is making their life a misery. A couple of fitters were also having a tea break and this is what transpired.

"How's the golf going?" a fitter enquired who hadn't seen the senior guy for a while. "Great"he replied "do you want to hear a funny story about a game I had last week?" of course all the guys said yes, and I thought oh no I wonder what's coming.

He had played a round of golf last Saturday morning at a very posh golf resort in Newport, with one of his friends and two guys he didn't know. Apparently they played 13 holes and his friend said he felt unwell and was going to be sick so he went down in to the bushes. After a while one of the guys they didn't know wandered off towards the bushes pulled a funny face and returned. they waited for the guy who wasn't well and then played another hole. The other guy who they didn't know hit his ball oddly and it went in to the bushes where the poorly guy had supposedly vomited. It was then he had to confess to all, especially the man who was going to grope about in the bushes for his ball that he had actually been caught short and indulged in an alfresco poo. Of course the guy who had wandered off before knew this because he had seen what was going on in the bushes. It gets better than that because apparently before the 18th hole he had been three more times and on the third time there was no dock leaves so he had used his pants to clean himself up. All I could think to say was "I hope he washed his hands before he had any peanuts!"

Idiots from another world

I seem to be having the month from hell. Everything I touch or come in to contact with either goes pear shaped or breaks hence I have been unable to blog much this week because the internet hub went POP!

I am writing this blog today to inform all readers I have encountered people who are bigger idiots than the ones I work with.

Last week Monday / Tuesday I had replacement windows fitted. I was so excited to be having the old wooden ones replaced because they were a bit scratched and never looked nice when I cleaned them. I went home on Monday looking forward to viewing the world through clear beautiful windows. I was sorely disappointed. The bathroom window was broken and the mastic seal on one window looked like it had been done by a blind man also I had to change my bed cover as it was covered in muck. So Tuesday I didn't leave for work until they had arrived I took the main man around and showed him a few problems he then told me he didn't work at my house the day before but the guy who did was ill "oh" said I "maybe he had a little lie down in my room?" I got no response and off I went to work. Tuesday night I got home and had a little look around at the windows still a few picky problems i.e I opened one and it wouldn't close and a key was broken off in a lock but you can't see much in the dark. Wednesday morning the sun was shining and you could clearly see every pane of glass was scratched! So on the phone we went and arranged a meeting for later that morning with the main main man. "right no that shouldn't have happened we will be here Thursday and change all the glass and that one window because it's not right." Thursday came and home I went with great anticipation of course it was dark so I couldn't see much again I opened and closed the window that wouldn't work and that was about it. Saturday I had to work and didn't get home until the afternoon I was determined to clean my new windows even though it was raining and guess what I opened a differant window and it wouldn't close and another window had a foriegn body in the glass. On to the phone again to the main main man "I can't come I've got achey boll***s but I will send some one tonight to get the window closed. I said "please come yourself and you will have 2 achey boll***S!" Duly at six o'clock around came an operative and whacked my window with a piece of wood "we'll be back Monday" he said. Monday came they arrived and adjusted the windows and phoned me to arrange a meeting for Tuesday to look at the windows. Tuesday came and I arrived to meet them and duly they changed the window with a foriegn body in it "There you go good as new" said they "NO said I" that window is scratched" "It can't be says main main man with achey boll***S I checked it myself" it was scratched! "We'll be back Thursday my love and we will check all these windows and you will be absoloutely delighted" they said "NO I wont" I said "this is the worst experience I have had I want you out of my house and out of my life this is the final chance." Thursday came (yesterday) hubbie opened bathroom window and two locking plates fell off. I left a sharp note for main main man hubbie phoned the office to inform them just in case. I have not really checked the windows out properly today because I can't be bothered I am totally sick of the whole affair. The lady from their office phoned me at lunch time to see if the windows are now acceptable I told her to phone back Monday. At some point I can't remember what point now I asked these idiots why you would fit windows and not check that they opened and closed before you left. The main main man with the achey boll***s told me that instead of opening and closing the windows he had put the vacuam cleaner around to make it nice for me to come home to. Any one contemplating window replacements is welcome to contact me and I will tell you who NOT to use.

Hypochondria update

This morning I had a telephone call from my fellow co. worker ("idot?") who is a hypochondriac it's a Saturday morning so I was wondering why he was phoning me when he doesn't have to work today. He told me he was phoning me to tell me he is very ill and will not be able to go out today. He's been up all night and is feeling really poorly. Any one who knows him is welcome to drop in donations of chocolate and fruit to help with his recovery because I'm pretty sure he's going to milk this one for weeks to come. And I need to eat plenty of chocolate and fruit to keep me going.

Winter blues

We are suffering from the winter blues this week. Some of my fellow co. workers and I have had a bit of cold and sore throat thing this week. One of my fellow co. workers has really suffered quite badly and has struggled in sounding just like Barrie White but never the less he has made it in every day and we have teased and cajoled our way through the days. I have blogged before about one of my fellow co. workers who is a hypochondriac and unfortuantely he thinks he has caught this bug. In he wandered yesterday with a face like a wet weekend in Weston Super Mare and informed us all he had a cold. "well" says I "we have had it all week so you wont be getting any sympathy from us!" for the last two days he has coughed when he remembers and sniffed every time he thinks one of us is listening but I have not heard him seeze once. I wish I had the same bug as him.
My other half and I were just sat chatting over lunch about when people complain. It's not unheard of for a customer to come in several days or weeks after an installation and complain about something and you just know this complaint is not justified, because if it was they would have told you well before this that there was a problem. As we were saying this in came a customer and asked about colours for Altro Marine so off I went and got a sample to show her, as I returned she told me we had installed a floor over three weeks ago (That she has paid for after we have fitted it) and she doesn't think it's the right colour "Gull" so I show her the samples, and yes we have fitted gull just like she ordered. BUT she meant to order shark the sample that was underneath gull. The bit that baffles me is it has taken her over three weeks to check this and she paid for it after it was fitted but didn't queery the colour. Thank god it was her mistake.

First impressions

You never get another chance to make a first impression or that's what I think. Working with my fellow co. workers ("idots?") who are men can some times be a trial. I will often have to comment that they are not dressed appropriately to be in the show room. Some times things go wrong and instead of going to site they stay and do things around here, work on plans or re-stock the rolls but often if it's busy they end up serving customers and I am some times very embarrassed that they are not dressed appropriateley. Yesterday for one of my fellow co. workers ("idiot?") it was the opposite way around he came in dressed reasonably enough but had to go out to do a site measure he was almost there when he got a telephone call "I hope you have brought your wellies" which of course he hadn't. So apparently when he left site he was covered in mud and had to go home and change. When he returned to the show room he was wearing beige trousers brown shoes dark grey shirt and black jacket which didn't match at all. "what have you got on?" I said "you match at the top you match at the bottom but the bottom and the top don't match" He then went on to tell me how muddy he had got and that he had to go home and change also he would be in big trouble when he gets home because he walked mud all through the house (why he didn't take his shoes off before he went in is beyond me) "well" says I "why couldn't you change your shirt as well as your trousers and shoes?" because not only did the grey not go with the beige / brown ensemble it was covered in toothpaste as well. He told me what he was wearing was all right! and I'm guessing any one he made contact with for the first time he gave the impression that he got dressed in the dark