The miracle of christmas

I see as I log on it's been three months since my last blog. I can't believe it's been that long. Not a lot's changed with regards to the building we trade from. We still have the HUGE for sale sign with the TINY Business not affected banner - that helps in a  very hard economic climate-  I can tell you. But all in all it's not been a bad three months since I last posted. We have our last few installations on Monday and then we can close the door for a week and re-charge our batteries. I titled this blog The miracle of Christmas for no other reason than I have actually succeeded in finding a suitable colour carpet for a customer that has been coming in once a week for at least an hour sometimes two since April. Just yesterday she telephoned me and asked me to order a stock cutting. So long as this matches the sample from the shop floor, and by some other miracle the bedding she has now selected is still available - we have matched many different sets of bedding over the months, most of which have been returned!!- she may place an order in January. I'm so excited I may not sleep over the Christmas period. I don't know yet what I'll do with the extra hours I'll have to fill during my working week when she's sorted. She did mention doing another room after this one -we'll have to see.-

They are still idiots!

I haven't had much time to blog lately. The "idiots?" and I have had a lot going on. We've had a very busy interlude. a few problems along the way such as the building we trade from being up for sale -hopefully the new buyer will want to keep us?- thankfully we've been too busy to worry much about what we do if they don't want to keep us. And I now just think we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. I'm at work today and  have five minutes to spare so I couldn't let this episode pass without blogging.
As we all know we've had a shit summer. But as far as I'm aware in the good old Forest of Dean the rain is much the same quality where ever you are. The co. worker who I work the showroom with is on holiday at the moment so another co. worker who doesn't normally work on a Wednesday said he would work a couple of hours this week to help out. Great I thought. All the other "idiots?" are either on holiday or were working a long way from home that day. So I was glad of just a little support. 8.30 in I trotted I opened up brushed the pavement and set us up for the day. NO HELP MATE. I made myself a cuppa and settled in. Thinking oh well never mind. At about 9.45 down the road he came. He sauntered in and said "I couldn't come in at 8.30 the rain where I live was so bad you couldn't go out in it. He lives about two miles away from me and I was here. This "IDIOT?" is the one who loves driving in the snow and at the first flake goes home. The same "idiot?" who adds on at least five inches to the accumulation of snow at his home when others live just up the road. The same "idiot?" who's got the flu when he's caught your cold. I wonder if working with "idiots?" is ever gong to get any easier!!

Time just flies

I can't believe how long it is since I last posted. I must be getting old. The days just go and I can't fit it all in. Things happen That would make a great blog post. And then reality interrupts and I can't get around to it. I say to my fellow co. workers "idiots?"   " that's great for me blog" I even have a title and then reality hits again and another great post is gone. And because my memories full I can't retain the information long enough to post on the weekends. The only good post I can remember goes as follows.

My fellow co. worker "idiot?" who took so long and made so much fuss about growing his beard has shaved it off. Apparently the pollen was building up in it and giving him hay fever. In he came all clean and smooth and looking twenty years younger. I was pleased. Later that morning a regular customer came in. She walked through the store and said "ooh you don't have to tell me who that is" She thought he was MY SON! I do have a son who is fourteen years younger than this fellow. Either I was not looking my best that day or he has to grow his beard back!!!

What a muddle

At last I have peace. Well not entirely I do have a rep. in building a stand but I don't count him. Even though he arrived at 8.30 this morning to build this stand and the stand hadn't arrived. It was promised as first delivery of the day and then the driver decided to reverse his route! It's been one of those days. At 8.30 in wandered an "idiot?" on his arrival I enquired had he forgotten to do a measure on Monday? "Oh yes" says he I completely forgot. Unbeknown to me the customer had phoned yesterday and spoken to one of the other "idiots? and he had arranged it for today. But the "idiot?" with the bad memory didn't know this either so off he went to make a phone call to apologise and re-arrange. We sorted out the confusion and then on we went about our business. I then casually said to a fellow co. worker of course you're not here this afternoon -because he had booked the afternoon off weeks ago- he looked at me blankly. He had completely forgotten. After much ado arrangements were made and the afternoon off was back on. Then I had a telephone call at 1.15 "you said my carpet would be fitted today after 12.30" "yes" says I "well it's 1.15 now" "yes" says I. "well I don't want to wait  in all afternoon I've got thing to do." "Oh" says I. thinking why didn't you do your things before 12.30. "your carpet fitter shouldn't be too long."  I have no idea how long the carpet fitter is going to be. He's got a lot on today. I only ever give a time of first job mid to late morning or after 12.30. After 12.30 means any time before 6. I'm hoping tomorrow will be less of a muddle.

We must be doing something right

Last night we attended a gala dinner at the local golf club. The "idiots?" and I had been nominated for the retailer of the year award.  I finished early and off home I popped to beautify myself. suitably moisturised and quaffed four of us attended the event. Our category was the second on the agenda. And it was announced we were runner up. I was chuffed with this as I had completely forgotten I had filled in the entry forms anyway. We shared our table with another local business. They congratulated us and awaited the result for themselves. On the news that they were also runner up in their category the atmosphere changed. They were gutted. The impression I got was second place was good enough for us. But they were convinced they were winners. We all sat quietly for a while and then through gritted teeth the atmosphere warmed a little. My framed certificate is on my desk today. I think theirs may have gone in the bin on the way out.

BOXING CLEVER

I always make my own lunch to bring to work. Usually a salad and fruit salad. This requires two air tight sandwich boxes. Every day I take them home in readiness for the next. Yesterday things started to unravel. The other half had pinched one of my sandwich boxes. I told him when I noticed he needed to sort himself out because I wanted my box back for today. I thought he understood. So just for the one day yesterday I used a sandwich box with a broken lid. It's only the side that's broken so it's still useful it just leaks sometimes.Yesterday we had a late lunch. Hubby put MY sandwich box on his windscreen with the intention of putting it in the van. He went off and did something then jumped in the van and drove off. And yes you've guessed it my sandwich box was still outside. As he drove over the speed humps my box flew through the air and landed with a bang. And then something drove over it. I was given bits of plastic back by an "idiot?" who picked up the pieces :-)

INSURED OR NOT INSURED

Today a fellow co. worker "idiot?" ambled in. I looked at the clock and noted he was ten minutes late. By the way, I haven't told him yet I noticed he was ten minutes late. He scooted into his office. Probably thinking he'd got away without me noticing. A short while later I went into the office for something and he ambushed me. "I have been driving my van around for three years without any valid insurance." SO I thought. It's your van and your insurance you are supposedly a grown man. What's it go to do with me?.  Apparently  he didn't declare to his insurers he was sign writing the van and this meant he shouldn't be driving on a domestic policy. He huffed around for a while. And then he got into the van and drove off. I wondered why? if this vehicle is not insured why didn't he just bring his car? on his return he made a few phone calls. Then he popped out of the office and said "I'm insured now" just like that. It transpires so long as he informed them of the sign writing it was all ok. Just like that the crisis was over. I don't know what all the Monday morning fuss was about I would have thought he would have sorted this in the first instance.

Tight or what?

Today we had a visit from one of our regular reps. He was very proudly informing us he's doing a cycle ride for charity. And very sheepishly enquired if we would sponsor him. He was very lucky a fair few of my fellow co. workers were around. And they each gladly dipped in there pocket and sponsored him. And then in walked tight ass. He tried all ways not to put his hand in his pocket and sponsor the poor bloke. He even said "I'm a poor pensioner" and he is so not poor. In the end I managed to shame him into forking out a miserly amount for shames sake but it wasn't easy. This same "idiot?" was chatting last week about his mother not wearing her hearing aid. He said "I'm deaf in my left ear. I'm having that."  I couldn't believe it. Rather than sort out an aid to suite his problem he would wear hers so he didn't cost him anything!!

unpublished

If you've missed me and my blog I'm sorry. I have blogged but my efforts have remained unpublished. A comment was made  by husband "idiot?" that I shouldn't upset people. I have spent some time considering this comment. I don't want to upset people.And I must consider that I may. I have pondered the thought that although I consider my blog funny others may not. Perhaps I need to change my format a little bit in order to be less offensive to my fellow co. workers?

Prick-a-lee

My fellow co. workers and I are well known for our banter. We do take the proverbial p*** out of each other all the time. And I think we all give as good as we get. There is one amongst us who doesn't share our sense of humour.He gets positively prickly if you take the p*** too much. Monday afternoon the boys were on form the insults were bouncing off the walls. Mr prickly go up and walked out of the room. On his return a comment was made about him being miserable. He replied " I'm not miserable But if Nicola says I am then I must be" this comment added to to the hilarity because no one calls me Nicola unless I've really upset them. Unfortunately now this poor individual has shown his lack of humour he will never be safe when the boys are in store.

Night mare

OH NO my fellow co. worker "idiot?" told me working Saturday was a night mare. WHY? you must be asking yourself. Was he inundated with customers? NO Was he feeling poorly? NO. Was his pussy poorly? NO. Could he not find his christmas cardie with the fur trimmed hood? NO. Could his wife not find her umbrella? NO NO NO. The cause of his night mare was...............His gate was frozen shut! Honestly this "idiot?" is priceless.

progress

In all my  years working with the "idiots?" we have run two order books. One for the commercial orders and one  for the domestic. Up until the  present time this system has worked quite well. Yes I agree it's not perfect. Certain fellow co.workers "idiots?" don't remember to write the order in the book. The same fellow co. workers don't remember to tick the order when they make it even if they do remember to write it in the book. But hey ho that's the way it is. NOW it's all about to change, our order system is going computerised. Some of us have embraced this change as inevitable progress. Some of my fellow co. workers are trying to resist the change by putting obstacles in the way. In the middle of the week last week we were trying to iron out a few wrinkles.  A fellow co. worker tried a few blocking tack ticks to slow progress. AND THEN "PUFF" the end of the tether was reached by husband boss "idiot?" as he's the person who has spent hours and hours working on  the new ordering system. He lost the plot completely and said to the fellow co. worker in question "Listen you're between  sixty five and sixty seven you're nearly dead so what's it go to  do with you!" I WAS LOST FOR WORDS. I've  got the reputation for being out spoken and he took the biscuit. The rest of the "idiots?" looked on in stunned silence.

No Sense - of direction

I have no sense of direction. But it appears one of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" is worse than me. Today he has to make a delivery and he keeps telling me the route he's going to take. Even I who doesn't know my left from my right, my up from my down, and forget north east south west, knows what he's telling me is the wrong way.BUT I can't make him understand he's going the WRONG  way!!

Gok Whan

I am not a dedicated follower of fashion. But I am clean and tidy and for my age appropriately dressed. For work I don't have a uniform but I do dress in either a black skirt or trousers with a modest top (remember all the "idiots?" are men) this week has been reasonably mild up until today so I have been wearing a lighter weight coat. I think it's quite nice especially for work. It's red with patch pockets and at the back it has a design feature where the fabric gathers up into a mock bow shape. This coat wasn't purchased for it's design. I purchased it in the next sale and it was cheap! Wednesday evening I put on my coat to go home not thinking about much at all I wandered into the office to say bye bye. THEN one of the "idiots?" proceeded to comment on my red coat. I can't fathom why. But he went on to comment he doesn't like the back of my coat apparently he thinks it looks silly. I'm not much bothered as I can't see the back of my coat. I'm just glad I'm not sensitive to comments made because a sensitive person could have taken offence!!

New year same old "IDIOTS?"

Monday afternoon I was sat at home enjoying my last  hours before the start of another year with my fellow co. workers. My home phone rang. My spider senses told me it would be a fellow co. worker giving me an excuse why he couldn't come to work on Tuesday. I was right. It was the usual suspect. Avid blog readers with know all about my fellow co. worker who is a hypochondriac. I just knew it would be him. "I'm not well. I've got a cold. I'll be in on Wednesday." Once again my spider senses told me Wednesday would come and go and he would still not turn up. Once again I was right this morning the phone went. He croaked and moaned that he was still poorly and will try and  pop in tomorrow. Another fellow co. worker who like me has worked here along time needed to ask this "idiot?" a question so I transferred the call. I couldn't wait to ask him if the "idiot?" forgot to carry on the pretence after five minutes of conversation. I didn't get the opportunity to ask. My fellow co. worker bounded out of the back office smiling to himself and said "after a few moments he was talking normally." sadly we both knew this would be the case. I get the feeling this year is going to be much the same as last year.The kidders amongst us will be thinking there pulling the wool over our eyes when in reality there just being predictable!