We must be doing something right

Last night we attended a gala dinner at the local golf club. The "idiots?" and I had been nominated for the retailer of the year award.  I finished early and off home I popped to beautify myself. suitably moisturised and quaffed four of us attended the event. Our category was the second on the agenda. And it was announced we were runner up. I was chuffed with this as I had completely forgotten I had filled in the entry forms anyway. We shared our table with another local business. They congratulated us and awaited the result for themselves. On the news that they were also runner up in their category the atmosphere changed. They were gutted. The impression I got was second place was good enough for us. But they were convinced they were winners. We all sat quietly for a while and then through gritted teeth the atmosphere warmed a little. My framed certificate is on my desk today. I think theirs may have gone in the bin on the way out.

BOXING CLEVER

I always make my own lunch to bring to work. Usually a salad and fruit salad. This requires two air tight sandwich boxes. Every day I take them home in readiness for the next. Yesterday things started to unravel. The other half had pinched one of my sandwich boxes. I told him when I noticed he needed to sort himself out because I wanted my box back for today. I thought he understood. So just for the one day yesterday I used a sandwich box with a broken lid. It's only the side that's broken so it's still useful it just leaks sometimes.Yesterday we had a late lunch. Hubby put MY sandwich box on his windscreen with the intention of putting it in the van. He went off and did something then jumped in the van and drove off. And yes you've guessed it my sandwich box was still outside. As he drove over the speed humps my box flew through the air and landed with a bang. And then something drove over it. I was given bits of plastic back by an "idiot?" who picked up the pieces :-)

INSURED OR NOT INSURED

Today a fellow co. worker "idiot?" ambled in. I looked at the clock and noted he was ten minutes late. By the way, I haven't told him yet I noticed he was ten minutes late. He scooted into his office. Probably thinking he'd got away without me noticing. A short while later I went into the office for something and he ambushed me. "I have been driving my van around for three years without any valid insurance." SO I thought. It's your van and your insurance you are supposedly a grown man. What's it go to do with me?.  Apparently  he didn't declare to his insurers he was sign writing the van and this meant he shouldn't be driving on a domestic policy. He huffed around for a while. And then he got into the van and drove off. I wondered why? if this vehicle is not insured why didn't he just bring his car? on his return he made a few phone calls. Then he popped out of the office and said "I'm insured now" just like that. It transpires so long as he informed them of the sign writing it was all ok. Just like that the crisis was over. I don't know what all the Monday morning fuss was about I would have thought he would have sorted this in the first instance.

Tight or what?

Today we had a visit from one of our regular reps. He was very proudly informing us he's doing a cycle ride for charity. And very sheepishly enquired if we would sponsor him. He was very lucky a fair few of my fellow co. workers were around. And they each gladly dipped in there pocket and sponsored him. And then in walked tight ass. He tried all ways not to put his hand in his pocket and sponsor the poor bloke. He even said "I'm a poor pensioner" and he is so not poor. In the end I managed to shame him into forking out a miserly amount for shames sake but it wasn't easy. This same "idiot?" was chatting last week about his mother not wearing her hearing aid. He said "I'm deaf in my left ear. I'm having that."  I couldn't believe it. Rather than sort out an aid to suite his problem he would wear hers so he didn't cost him anything!!

unpublished

If you've missed me and my blog I'm sorry. I have blogged but my efforts have remained unpublished. A comment was made  by husband "idiot?" that I shouldn't upset people. I have spent some time considering this comment. I don't want to upset people.And I must consider that I may. I have pondered the thought that although I consider my blog funny others may not. Perhaps I need to change my format a little bit in order to be less offensive to my fellow co. workers?

Prick-a-lee

My fellow co. workers and I are well known for our banter. We do take the proverbial p*** out of each other all the time. And I think we all give as good as we get. There is one amongst us who doesn't share our sense of humour.He gets positively prickly if you take the p*** too much. Monday afternoon the boys were on form the insults were bouncing off the walls. Mr prickly go up and walked out of the room. On his return a comment was made about him being miserable. He replied " I'm not miserable But if Nicola says I am then I must be" this comment added to to the hilarity because no one calls me Nicola unless I've really upset them. Unfortunately now this poor individual has shown his lack of humour he will never be safe when the boys are in store.

Night mare

OH NO my fellow co. worker "idiot?" told me working Saturday was a night mare. WHY? you must be asking yourself. Was he inundated with customers? NO Was he feeling poorly? NO. Was his pussy poorly? NO. Could he not find his christmas cardie with the fur trimmed hood? NO. Could his wife not find her umbrella? NO NO NO. The cause of his night mare was...............His gate was frozen shut! Honestly this "idiot?" is priceless.