Snow Joke

Dear Mother Nature
I don't ask for much all I wanted was for you to hold on to the snow until Friday. but no that was too much to ask and instead you dumped it NOW. And now what? the "idiots?" and I are up the creek. My fellow co. worker whom I have blogged previously on numerous occasions is the only one in the world who can drive in snow. Came to work at 9.15 and was gone again at the first signs of snow at about 11 this morning. My fellow co. workers "idiots?" who were due to work in Exeter left at 5 this morning and got within half an hour of their destination only to be turned around because the snow was so bad the roads were closed. Three fellow co. workers were told by boss husband "idiot?" fellow co. worker to go home. Boss husband "idiot?" and another fellow co. worker are fitting a lounge (quickly) after trying to negotiate the hill to the house several times. And I'm sat manning the phones that are clogged by suppliers who are not going to get here and customers wanting to know if my Chrystal ball predicts they will still have there flooring by Christmas!! Please mother nature can we have a miracle over night? please melt the snow and let all the deliveries through and then please move Christmas back by one week. If you do this for me I promise I will never complain again I'm too hot too cold or we've had too much rain. THANK YOU.

Short fuse

I'm on a short fuse this week because I've got a cold. This means I don't suffer fools gladly. And boy oh boy are the "idiots?" being foolish. Yesterday we ran out of tea bags - This is an emergency situation - off went an "idiot?" on foot with haste to rectify the situation. We all awaited his return. He came back with milk. We didn't need milk we had plenty, he put his head in his heads and uttered "I don't know what's the matter with me." I uttered to myself "No neither do I but get your skates on and go back to purchase tea bags NOW." This morning I struggled in to work. I told one of the "idiots?" you need to take samples with you for this customer. I found the samples and put them in front of him. Off he went, the samples are still there. The hypochondriac "idiot?" is beside himself because I've got a cold and every time I sneeze he gives a little cough and when ever he walks by he sniffs just in case I might just be deemed as more ill than himself. I can't wait for five o'clock tonight I need a little break from them all.

I'v e got too much to think about!

Today I have had this conversation with a fellow co. worker "idiot?" that he'd double booked himself. He handed me a measure sheet and said "you'll have to sort that out with someone else." he had made all the plans himself for this afternoons measures. EXCEPT he had made two for the same time. One at one end of the Forest of Dean and the other at the other end. You must agree with me but only an "idiot?" would do that and then leave someone else to sort it out. "well" he said "I've got too many things to think about." I'm not being funny or nothing but we've all got a lot to think about at work, that's why we get paid. And I'm pretty sure being the only female among the "idiots?" I'm thinking about a million more things than them. Like what's for tea.? What to order for my tesco delivery? Who should I buy what for christmas? What will I wrap it in? What will we eat on christmas day? need I say more????

Bah humbug!

I hate the christmas rush. It's stopping me writing my blog. It's stopping me sleeping.It's stopping me enjoying anything. Don't get me wrong I'm glad we've got a christmas rush. but I wont be blogging regularly for a few weeks yet.

How you goin to manage?

This week so far has been hard.
Several of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" have taken the week off. One fellow co. worker "idiot?" was googling holidays frantically trying to find a last minute deal. Of course anyone with even half a brain knows it's school holidays and what happens in school holidays? yes the prices go way up. "well" he grumbled at the end of the week when he hadn't bagged a bargain holiday "you said no holidays in November." yes I know I said no holidays in November. I didn't say book half term week because you wont be able to afford to fly did I! Some how his enforced week in England appeared to be my fault. Friday afternoon last week the atmosphere was a little frosty. He informed me on more than one occasion that if he had next week off he could get a holiday for half the price. I was left wondering why he hadn't been more organised and looked in to it in advance. He could have appealed to my better nature and enquired if he worked extra hard on his return could he have the first week of November you never know I may have relented and said yes.
"how you going to manage next week?" my fellow co. worker asked. "just like I did before you worked here." I replied. And that's how it's been. Once again I have made grand entrances from the ladies powder room. I have dragged the open sign out on to the pavement and back in again when it's been closing time. I have made nearly every cup of tea.Definately washed every dirty cup. Cleaned the show room including the toilet. Served every customer and soothed the furrowed brows of the fitters.Especially the fitter who I had warned in advance that he was going to a very fussy customer only to discover the fussy customer decided to replace his underlay after his carpets were fitted. This meant fitting them twice. but all in all the week has gone by quite smoothly (so far). The days have been fast and the mornings have come faster and life goes on.

Romantic beginings

This morning started off so well. Husband boss fellow co. worker "idiot?" brought me the customary morning cup of tea aah delicious. Ten minutes later he bounded back up the stairs and hollered "Don't lie there too long you need to scrape your car!!"
I was hoping to hear "Lie there a bit longer love. Don't start work 'til about ten. And then your car wont need scraping." Oh how I wish my life was like adverts on T.V all clean babies and puppies ambling about making you smile. My life seems to be all dirty washing cars that need scraping and you better be at work on time regardless of the weather!!

Have a little lie down

Have a little lie down is the sentance of the week. I've lost count of the number of people who have uttered the immortal words "ooh beds at least you can have a little lie down when you feel tired." How would that work? a customer would come in or a telephone would ring and I could say "OOOH hello I was just having a little lie down" if and when I require a little lie down at work I think it's time to retire!!
Yesterday afternoon the "idiots?" and I were moving a few things about. Swapping a mattress for a memory foam mattress and cutting stock etc. Just a normal Friday afternoon. We were milling around the desk area when all of a sudden water gushed and I mean gushed through the light fitting. The "idiots?" looked up to admire the water I rushed and turned the lights off and found a bucket to contain the water. After the mad dash I enquired "don't you think it would have been a good idea for one of you to turn the lights off immediately?" "NO" they said "the trip switch should have kicked the electric off" They know Bob the builder converted upstairs I doubt if there is a trip switch. Husband boss "idiot?" went upstairs. One of the tennants was doing a bit of plumbing!!
As we worked in the dark again for a while I took the time to ponder what will happen when they get a major leak up there.

Bed knobs and broom sticks!!

Diversification is the word of the day in retail and as previously blogged we have diversified back into the world of sleep and selling beds.
Yesterday I left my fellow co. workers "idiots?" alone and headed up the motorway to a trade show all about beds. Husband boss fellow co. worker "idiot?" and I had to do the obligatory measure on the way, this took an hour. Oh thought I as I sat in the car reading my book and eating some fruit whilst I waited. I better get the information out and plan our route around the venue as we still had two hours to travel and I wanted to be back by 5 o'clock for a hair cut. Once we got started on our journey proper I thought all was well. But NO we travelled for about 45 minutes and then he decided he could go no further without coffee. So we stopped. In to the services we wandered, then in to the mobile phone shop he went. "NO come on I pleaded, we need to start back at 3 o'clock at the latest." Coffee and nibbles for him were chosen "have you got any money?" I enquired, stupid question I know he doesn't do money. Lucky I had some so the items were purchased. Once again we started off as we were motoring a car flew past it was sign written MOBILE SOLICITOR what's one of them? the only thing I could think of was a prostitute with a car!
At last we reached our destination I had pre-booked so we went straight in. I was impressed. Our first port of call was to the stand of our supplier at the moment, I had tried to explain to hubby what this character is like. Even I was taken aback by his chosen outfit for the trade show. As I waved to attract his attention he turned around there he was in all his glory nice brown suite and a bright purple dickie bow tie. He was pleased to see us and flapped about trying to impress. After an acceptable amount of time we bade our farewells and made our way around to make some new contacts. Straight away we found the suppliers we wanted and got the paperwork to open the accounts.Brilliant this had taken just over an hour. I was elated and thought I might even get back early. We stopped for another coffee for him and a bottle of water for me and some sandwitches. We chatted about our next move. Himself decided we need a premier supplier. So back in to the fray we went, off to the big boys. This stand was very busy we sat on beds poked beds and admired the ticking (yes ticking that's mattress fabric to you and me.) Eventually someone made contact No they didn't cover our area so we had to wait for the area rep. to make time to see us. She eventually did. she was french very french we couldn't understand a word she was saying. Around and around she dragged us lie on this bed lie on that bed we were in a whirl. Then came the nitty gritty which beds would you like to purchase today. I didn't have the heart to tell her we had no intention of purchasing any beds at the show we have a nice display for now all I wanted was to open the account. "We don't want to commit today" I said so she scanned our bar codes like we were a pack of tomatoes and is coming into the show room in four weeks time. Thank god I thought this ordeal is over. But no you have to open an account with our sister company as well I'll introduce you to Derek. Off we trot meet Derek lie on this bed lie on that bed "what do you think?" he says "which beds would you like to purchase today?" we don't commit. We are scanned and he's coming to the showroom in four weeks. I look at husband he looks at me "lets go home". Derek was the icing on the cake we could take in no more information on springs and ticking we ambled home. I looked in my purse I had spent all my money on refreshments. I paid for my hair cut in loose change. Our day was done.

Beige

It's all beige around here My fellow co. workers my customers my environment it's all beige. Why? you are asking yourself. I don't know why the customers are beige because I don't know them personally, but there does seem to be a distinct lack of personality going on this week. I'm doing all the usual stuff coming out with the patter and all I'm getting in return is a lopsided smile and not much else. They all obviously think I've got mental health issues. But hey at least I'm not beige. My fellow co. workers are all in a funny place it's the old health and safety chestnut again upsetting the apple cart. I'm sure they'll get over it and I'm sure it'll all die down only to re-emerge another day. My environment is beige because we've moved everything husband boss fellow co. worker had a wild idea we should supplement selling carpet with beds so my beautifully refurbished show room has been torn apart to put the beds in, so we can't find anything, and we're still waiting for all the beds to arrive. I am awaiting some colour in my life it can't stay beige for ever. I will know things are improving when I feel my life is taupe and not beige!

Are you serious?

We have a new tenant in the flats above our showroom and unfortunately there a smoker. And with that comes the inevitable. They are far too bone idle to dispose of the remnants of there habit in a civilised way so they throw them out of the window.
so this morning one of the first tasks was to sweep the pavement. I asked a fellow co. worker "idiot?" "would you sweep the pavement please" he looked at me and carried on wandering around. I let this go for about half an hour. I then requested again "would you sweep the pavement for me please" he then went in to one. "Are you serious? I'm not sweeping up because there too lazy to dispose of there fags properly". The easy answer to this was "yes you are because I need that pavement to look inviting for the customers otherwise they may not come in" out he went and reluctantly swept up.

gone but not forgotten

I must apologise for not blogging for a while. It's all been a bit hectic since me and the welsh wonder had a major falling out three weeks ago. I have blogged previously about the temperamental welsh fitter I have had the misfortune to work with for the last ten year. Well off and on over the years we have had a few fall outs and he has decided to not speak to me. Some how or another this has usually worked itself out and we have managed to rub along. However this time he managed to tip me over the edge. The Monday morning started out much the same as always. He wasn't speaking we were communicating if you can call it that through a third party. Something had gone wrong with a plan for a hall stairs and landing, but because he wasn't speaking to me I didn't know. The third party had told a fellow co. worker "idiot?" to sort it out and deliver the carpet all cut ready to the house they were working at. The fellow co. worker "idiot?" omitted to tell me so I was oblivious until lunch time when they rolled up. In came the third party whilst the welsh wonder sat in his van. "Have you finished already?" I enquired. "NO you didn't sort the carpet out so we're going home" was his reply. You can imagine my astonishment. I flew up in the air dashed across the show room shouting "That's it I've had enough . I went to the van swung the door open and dragged the welsh wonder by his arm into the warehouse. Stomped into the office dragged the "idiot?" who had planned the carpet out to him and threatened to bang there heads together. All the time I was ranting on "It takes a bloody woman to sort you lot out all the time, you should all be ashamed you act like bloody kids." I then made a cup of tea plonked it on the floor and went back to work. The problem with the plan was sorted out and off they went and the job was finished. At some point I had told the welsh wonder I would phone him the next day to discuss matters. As I always do what say I will I picked up the phone thinking we could have an adult conversation and sort things out. BUT NO he wouldn't speak to me. All I got was the third party and he foolishly asked me what work they would be required to carry out. That was red rag to a bull and I was off again it went like this. "You tell that bloody ***hole to ring me and then we'll see until then there isn't any work. That was all three weeks ago and I've not heard a thing since. I was absolutely sure he would turn up for the wages I owe him. But no not a word not a visit nothing all is quiet. If he's waiting for me to ring him he'll wait I tell you because I'm a great friend and a terrible enemy. Of course this left me with a problem too much work and not enough workers. So I needed to fill the void. This went well for the first week or so, not so well this week. In came the replacement walking a bit gingerly his knees were paining him so he had spent a night on the sofa. This had fixed his knee problem but now he had a serious back problem. He struggled out and did the first job the rest of the day had to be cancelled. I'm hoping next week is going to sort itself out better.

Funny rep.story

I am very lucky to have a rep.(one of many) who I really get on with. He's got two little boys and Wednesday he came in and told me a really funny story. Whilst he was on holiday a couple of weeks ago. His wife enquired if they could go in to town and do some shopping and have a nice meal. Even though like most men he detests shopping he agreed. So off they went. He was in charge of making sure the boys behaved and his wife was left her own devices. The youngest of the two boys is going through the stage where he's fascinated by toilets. So when they got to the restaurant he asked once again to be taken to the loo, he was told as it was so near he could go on his own "I'm sure he only wants to look" the worried mummy was told by hubby. They chatted a while and then the stable doors to toilets swung open, out backed a small boy with his trousers around his ankles who enquired for all the restaurant to hear "Will you wipe my bum daddy?" the waiter laughed and came over with free drinks for mummy and daddy and free ice cream for the boys purely for the entertainment value!

Out numbered

I'm feeling outnumbered by my fellow co. workers "idiots?" I'm tired and they're really getting on my nerves. There is way too much testosterone in this place and I crave female company. This morning one of the "idiots?" says to me "I've found something interesting in this tool catalogue you might like." I suspected I wouldn't. I was right he rattled on about waterproof gussets and clip on clip off front. It was a bloody light switch. What's interesting about that? I swished my chair around and pretended to be busy. The next minute he waffled on about the virtues of a good red wine he'd drunk but he couldn't remember the name. What's interesting about that? and so the morning dragged on. Then in came a customer to look at a vinyl she'd selected. "Can't find it" he mumbled. "I need to check the quality" she was chirping. So up I jumped "I'll have a look" I said. I was thinking as I went to check the samples I bet it's there. But if it's not I can show her the quality any way on another design, because regardless of the design the range quality was what she was most worried about. Of course it was there. The customer whispered in my ear "why didn't he think to show me the quality even if the design wasn't there?" all I could think of to answer her was "because he's a man!"

If you want a job doing do it yourself

Oh dear
I think I've gone and upset one of my fellow co.workers "idiot?" again. I asked him to go outside and clear the weeds that had popped up outside the showroom. He bustled about and then came and stood by the desk. "ok" he said "where are the gardening tools?" "what gardening tools?" I replied "you don't need any. Just avoid the traffic and pull!" that went down like a lead balloon. The shoulders were shrugged the eyes rolled and off he huffed. Earlier the same fellow co. worker "idiot?" had enquired "would you be offended if I brought in a cordless phone? it's ridiculous out there. there's never a pen and paper by the phone in the unit." I just looked at him in wonder. I then told him how I have managed and still manage when he's not here. I picked up a pen and popped it behind my ear. I then showed him my hand. "There you go I said you don't need a cordless phone. A pen behind your ear and a hand to write on is all you require." The "idiot?" in question has now pulled the weeds and is avoiding my like the plague.

I don't think I'm in any danger!

I know I keep banging on about my fellow co. worker "idiot?" who suffers from hypochondria but he really is driving me up the bloody wall. Last Tuesday
in he came wearing the now famous christmas cardi with fur trimmed hood. My god he must have been boiling because the weather was so humid. He strutted about waiting for someone to notice and enquire why he was wearing this item at the height of summer. Eventually someone did. "I'm not well" they were informed. Of course as the day wore on he forgot and things got as near to normal as they can in here. By four o'clock I thought we were home and dry. BUT NO all of a sudden he remembered he was ill and spent the next hour mooning about hoping for sympathy. Wednesday morning he came to work and was going to a meeting that would take most of the day. For the first half hour he acted poorly and then he completely forgot. During that day he spoke several times to my fellow co. workers as right as ninepunce. Then once again he remembered he was ill in the afternoon. Thursday and Friday were great -He was on holiday- This morning at 8.30 the phone went it was him. "I'm ill I've got to go to the doctors." I couldn't believe it why didn't he go Thursday of Friday in his own bloody time? instead of cocking up my day!
I can't remember at what point last week he wanted a cup of tea and he had the cheek to say to me "you don't want me to make you one in case you catch it" I told him in no uncertain terms "you cannot catch hypochondria.Here is my cup put a tea bag in it and hot water and milk on top" and you know what? I never caught a thing.

Utter rubbish

Monday this weeek was a disaster. The "idiots?" and I had a major crisis. They were out fitting in a school and the carpet needed to colour match because it was being joined in places. "Chief boss husband idiot?" phoned in to tell me they didn't colour match. I hadn't placed the order and didn't know what the "idiot?" who placed the order had asked for. If he hadn't asked for a colour match we were in major shit. We were in the shit anyway because of the timing factor but this could be really bad. was the fellow co. worker "idiot?" here to sort it out? NO he had gone on a QUICK MEASURE over an hour before the first telephone call. "Don't worry" says I "he can't be much longer." so every two minutes after that I got a phone call "is he back yet?" "NO if he was you would have heard." Of course we were phoning his mobile phone but that was sat in the van sunning itself on the seat! After numerous phone calls every two minutes I got my bum in a knot and told "chief boss husband idiot?" "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS" and off I went in search of the missing "idiot?". I drove down to the industrial estate where he was supposed to be doing the QUICK measure. I had no idea where the unit was we where he was supposed to be. Eventually I spotted his van. I zoomed in to the car park where he was. Of course there was loads of tradesman about doing whatever tradesman do. In to the building I went. I stood and listened. I could hear him talking but I needed to track him down upstairs or downstairs? now I think about it I did a great job wending myself through the building to the sound of his voice. There he was having a merry old time chatting away with a painter. In I stomped and said through gritted teeth "WILL YOU PLEASE COME BACK TO THE SHOP NOW. WE ARE HAVING A CRISIS YOU NEED TO SOLVE AND I HAVE BEEN PHONING YOU FOR OVER AN HOUR AND THIRTY MINUTES." He looked at me with his usual gormless expression and said "OK" I turned on my heel and swished out. I could hear the painter saying to me as swished "All right ****" I had no idea who he was I hadn't even looked at him in my haste to get in and out. It turned out to be the customer who owned the building OOOPS. Whilst driving back I kept looking in my mirror to see if he had obeyed my request and had acutually dragged himself away. He showed up about five minutes after me. I suppose he thought he was hurrying!!

All work and no play

It seems to be all work and no play for me and the "idiots?" right now. As is the norm. it's all or nothing. So a lot of the time I'm on my own in the shop as my able assistant is obviously too able and is helping on the tools. This leaves me with fellow co. worker "hypochondriac idiot?" who this morning is mooning about rubbing his belly and belching loudly every five minutes. I'm not sure who feels the most delicate him or me? but if he continues to moon about belching I'm definatley going to vomit!!

It's taking me a while to type this between customers and I think I have good news. "hypochondric idiot?" has been out on a measure. And since his return he's forgotton he feels ill, so I think I will be alright. Unless he remembers as he sometimes does and then I'll be back to square one. You think I'm fibbing I know. But I'm not. Many a day he has limped in using a walking stick saying he's got a very bad sprain but he'll soldier on. And I guarantee you by 11 o'clock he's forgotten to limp. And then suddenly he'll remember and start limping again only he can't remember which foot so he limps on one and then the other just in case. He's the same with a cold he sniffs and snuffles and coughs and moans and then he forgets for a while.And then he'll sniff snuffle and make himself cough, I've seen him try to counjour up a cough so hard it makes him retch. What a wally!!

The truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth

In the world the "idiots?" and I share we have "isms" this is a euphemism for LIES!! I don't know why, but we go through certain phases when the "isms" get out of control.One minute a perfectly normal conversation is going on and then an "idiot?" will have an uncontrollable outbreak of "ismitius" and ruin it all. I don't know if the "idiot?" in question believes what they say, but I know the rest of us DON'T.

To work or not to work?

yesterday was my dads funeral so obviously no work for me. Today I didn't know what to do. Should I go to work? should I clean the house? should I go out for the day?.

I decided on the work option. And oh boy do I regret it. Yesterday was a complete and utter disaster. Grumpy welsh fitter didn't turn up for work and isn't in work today, he's got van troubles -why on earth he didn't just hire a van and get on with it I don't know- one of the "idiots?" disapproves of me and boss "idiot?" being at work and is huffing about - why he can't just accept people react in different ways at these times and working is our way I don't know- really annoying "idiot?" keeps telling me how manic it was yesterday, and that's why he couldn't come to the hotel after the funeral and have his customary sandwich - why I didn't bring him a doggy bag I don't know - newish "idiot?" apparently got in a right panic and was still here at 7 o'clock last night trying to re-organise - why he just didn't go home and sort it out today I don't know - I have decided today is a new day and the "idiots?" better just keep out of my way whilst I get things back on track.

BULLSHIT

In he sweeps. He's not your usual rep he doesn't drive a mondeo he drives a JAG. He tries to baffle you with his products. Except he knows nothing about his products. He brags to you about the fabulous meals he's eaten and the wonderful places he's visited. He makes you promises he will not keep. He offers you products for far less money than all the other suppliers and then the price goes up.He's one of the few we don't offer a beverage so he doesn't stay too long. Then off he goes leaving a whiff of expensive cologne. We call him BULLSHIT B*B.

Middle aged spread

My fellow co. workers "idiots?" are having new T'shirts for work wear. They have already received one delivery.But are now going to a different supplier. "WHY?" you are asking yourself. I know I'm asking myself this question, the first delivery of T'shirts are really nice, it's just the boys "idiots?" they don't like the sizing. Apparently the tops are a bit "SNUG!!" None of the "idiots?" have considered it's the middle aged spread that's the problem they think if they order else where they can order a smaller size. I think they're just kidding themselves.

Blog therapy post (do not read if you don't want to)

This post may not seem appropriate to many but I am who I am and I find writing my blog very therapeutic so here goes. For a long time but particularly over the last eight months my dad has been very ill. And on Wednesday whilst at work I got the telephone call every one dreads you need to come to the hospital now. Up I jumped and shouted at who ever was listening "I've got to go now" I thought I picked up my things -only to discover when I got to Cheltenham I hadn't picked up anything useful- and off I went. My fellow co workers "idiots?" were great one handed me my keys whilst having the forethought to remove all the keys he would require in my absence. Another asked me if I was O.K to drive myself and the others all got out my way as I ran out to my car. I spent that day saying goodbye to my dad. Yesterday not knowing quite how you're supposed to behave at these times I thought I must go to work and check that all the things I planned to do Wednesday morning had been done. My fellow co. workers "idiots?" had done me proud. I needn't have worried everything was as good as or if not better than it would have been had I been there.I know some of my fellow co. workers read my blog so "THANKS MATES". Don't worry all you non fellow co. workers it can't last long soon they will be up to there old tricks. I'll keep you posted as soon as I can. xx

how does his mind work (or more preciseley does his mind work)

I am bemused confused and befuddled. Unfortunately one of my fellow co. workers who used to work Saturdays is unwell and she has left our happy little community of "idiots?" for the moment that leaves us short staffed on a Saturday. This shouldn't be a problem during the summer because we are less busy on a Saturday until the Christmas run up. (please god let there be a busy Christmas run up!) Well last Saturday the most annoying "idiot?" I have the misfortune to work with worked the morning. He knows that at the moment it's only one person working Saturdays so we can't organise measures for this day. This morning in he wandered at 9.05 it was requested by boss "idiot?" that he start work at 8.30 every morning this week but because he had a measure on the way in I guessed he would not be in until 9.30 today. Because it was 9.05 when he arrived today I enquired "you did remember the meausure didn't you?" he turned on his heel and was making his way back to the van. Of course I should have known better he had forgotten completely. The damn measure was for his next door neighbour!! Any how the saga continues because I looked at the messages from Saturday. Sure enough there was a measure sheet all written out measure next Saturday 10.30 in Newnham on Severn. On the "idiots?" return from next door to his own house I enquired how are we going to do this measure next Saturday then? He looked at me all cock eyed as if I was the one without a brain. "What do you mean?" says he."we don't have enough staff on Saturday to cover the showroom for the measure to be possible" I reminded him. "Oh yeh" he said and walked off. I took it upon myself to phone the customer and rearrange I was lucky they didn't tell me not to bother. When summer is over I have no choice it's back to Saturday working for me I reckon I've got ten to twelve weeks before I drag myself in and eat my breakfast at my desk again. I'm really looking forward to it.

The best of

Today has been a slow day. So I have been challenging the "idiots?" on the Best of Forest of Dean games. The Best Of is a website where people leave feedback for the local companies they have used. These games are addictive and I have discovered a competitive streak I didn't know I had. On bank holiday Monday I decided I couldn't go to bed until I had achieved 6000 points on the hammer throw. All was good when I got 11117 and off to bed I went. Now I am so deflated I can't get any higher than this score. I have been into our unit and got a piece of whiterock because I thought this would make the mouse run more smoothly. I'm getting agitated when the phone goes or a customer comes in because it's disturbing my train of thought. So after careful consideration I have decided to log out and blog instead.And after I finish my blog I'm going to find something constructive to do rather than playing games!

Oh and guess what I've got a secret.....
Do you want to share it?
Ok then I'll tell you but keep it to yourself.
This morning the post man brought another freebie. In my pop up R-Kive mini box I have another packet of Haribo kiddies supermix this time. This packet came with a sample of underlay. Now don't tell the "idiots?"

Freebie update

My box is empty. One of the "idiots?" has eaten my haribos and mini snickers. I need supplies to fill my box!

Freebies.... and parcels

Today the "idiots?" and I ambled in. You can say no more after a long weekend other than we ambled. First job of the day open the post. And joy of joys freebies a packet of sweets and a mini card board box. The box is perfect for keeping the sweets in. They both came from different sources but you couldn't have planned it any better. One of the "idiots?" assembled the box and it now contains the free sweets (haribo starmix) a mini snickers bar left over from last week and a packet of chewing gum as the wording on the mini box says "MAGIC".
Even better than that today I have received two parcels. Now the "idiots?" are always receiving parcels but I very rarely do. My parcels came quite early so I placed them behind my desk. Each "idiot?" in there turn has paid my parcels attention they are intrigued to know what's inside. The parcels have been studied turned around and the labels looked at.Boy would they be disappointed to find out one is white wicker laundry bin and the other is a Black and Decker hand held vacuum cleaner.Some of the parcels I have received for the "idiots?" are as followes. A set of four tyres for a jeep. A golf club. A banjo. Several guitars. numerous Mobile phones. numerous T'shirts. Shoes.Trains. A television.several cameras.And a partridge in a pear tree.

Mad start to the day

Oh my god what a mad start to the day today. In I came with all good intentions opened the door and set up the float etc. Put the kettle on and then got out the vacuum cleaner. I do like a nice clean start to the day. All the "idiots?" were busy next door playing with the thermo former and some whiterock so all was well or so I thought. I had vacuumed about half of the show room before I noticed the bloody great puddle on the floor. Up I looked and yes of course it was coming through the ceiling from the flats above. Not a surprise because bob the builder would have made a better job of the conversion.I am now working with no lights because the water tracked through the electricity ducts and I'm afraid to turn them on. If we have to redecorate I'm calling in the professionals I can't go through the wallpapering saga ever again. I'm hoping that we can resume normal service tomorrow because "idiotis" the god of dust is due back from his holiday. I'm not sure if his delicate constitution would be able to cope with the upheavel.

Just too much trouble!

Today one of my fellow co. workers "idiot?" came mincing through the showroom. "Ha" he said "I thought you were in trouble" "WHAT?" says I and looked up.There he was carrying a loo roll to the loo by his office (The loo only he uses for reasons that shall remain unprinted) "I thought I had taken the last loo roll" he says. But no I am wiser than that I had purchased a pack of 9 last night on the way home along with some milk and tea bags the essentials all workers require. But of course I am the only one who can purchase such items I would never rely on the "IDIOTS?" to replenish the stocks. I thought no more of our conversation until just now when I went to spend a penny. There was the bag he had removed the loo roll from left on the side. I can't believe he took the last roll and just put the bag back for someone else to dispose of.When I asked him why he just shrugged his shoulders and denied it.

I previously blogged that a fellow co. worker "idiot?" who likes to attend funerals had informed me that he would need to attend a gathering last week. I am pleased but not surprised to inform you that because I told him he could only attend the service and not partake of tea and sandwiches afterwards he decided not to attend. I shall await the local free paper tomorrow and consider his requests for compassionate leave once he has read the hatch match and dispatch columns.

Stupid or what?

In came the chap today that does all our sign writing. One of my fellow co. workers "idiot?" who is making heavy weather of fitting a flue on his house for a log burner saw an opportunity to perhaps borrow a piece of equipment that could make this job a little easier. "Hey" he asked "is your cherry picker manual?" at this I burst out laughing and said "surely a manual cherry picker is a ladder?" Of course the cherry picker is fully automated as you would expect. But I have decided the best solution to my fellow co. workers problem is to use a manual cherry picker i.e a ladder and I have volunteered to help him out by holding the bottom.

busted

Oh no I think I've been busted by one of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" Today he has dropped into the conversation more than once references I have made in my blog that could and do refer to him. I'm not sure this fellow co. worker is as humorous as I had anticipated. He really doesn't seem to understand when I take the p*** out of people I mean it in jest.I have told him about my blog and that I have blogged items that refer to him but he said he wasn't interested. Now I fear he's read the blog and doesn't like what he reads. OH NO I've just realised he's probably reading this. What shall I do edit my blog and NOT refer to this fellow co. worker "idiot?" in the future? No after careful consideration I think I will just carry on as normal and if the "idiot" cap fits then he will just have to wear it. I just can't suppress my urge for blog therapy.

Alone again

Just as you get used to having help around the place here I am on my own again. One of my fellow co. workers unfortunately is off sick and the other doesn't work a Monday afternoon. I in my wisdom thought today would be quiet and it turned out to be really busy. My fellow co. worker who doesn't work a Monday afternoon is off on holiday next week. What with the volcanic ash and the state of the economy in Greece he's bagged himself a bargain (or not as the case maybe.) I think I better practice this week by making all the tea and serving all the customers just in case the volcanic ash means he's stuck in an air port for weeks on end. Or the fact that he'll have a few euros to spend in Greece will make him a new Greek God "IDIOTIS" the god of ash. You never know he may not return to work with me ever again.
Today my other fellow co. worker whom I have previously informed followers of my blog before is a serial funeral attender informed me that some random woman he knew years ago has died and he will obviously need to attend her funeral next week. I have informed him he may attend the service but he's not even to consider attending the affair afterwards for his customary sandwich because pain in the ass that he is he's better than nothing to help me mind the shop. I will keep you informed on how things go with this matter. He may throw one of his hissy fits jump up and down and disappear for hours on end as is his want!

re-arrange your face!!

Today we have had challenging (to say the least) customers. My fellow co. worker "idiot?" and I have done our best to deal with there queries as they have occurred.The only problem being my fellow co. worker "idiot?" has a very expressive face. Earlier a lady came in and asked a difficult question. My fellow co. worker "idiot?" reeved up his nose rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders he then proceeded to unravel himself to pander to her whim. Unfortunately she witnessed these actions flapped her arms and started to huff and make her way towards the door. I calmly looked up from my paperwork and started to answer her question. After she had left to think things through my fellow co. worker told me he thought she had insulted his intelligence. I proceeded to to inform him I think it was maybe his body language that she objected to.After a brief interlude my fellow co. worker "idiot?" said aloud to no one in particular "may be there's something wrong with me." I couldn't think of a polite answer so just let it go over my head. I am going to see if there is a course available to teach him to say the correct things whilst controlling his body language whilst breathing in and out.I don't know if he will be able to manage all of these things but I think we should give it a try.

watering the blue bells

Two of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" had a busy day out and about yesterday. In they came at about four o'clock to do the paperwork. We had a cuppa to ease the brains into gear. Then one of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" came out with the sentence. "When ****n and I had a wee in the lane. Yes you read that right they had both been so desperate they had parked up the van and both got out and had a wee.The good news is Apparently they used different sides of the van. The van with the name of the company all over it! Every phone call today I am waiting for someone to tell me two of the "idiots?" were exposing themselves in a lane in the Forest of Dean somewhere.I don't know why they just didn't ask a customer if the could use their facilities or go into a public loo somewhere. I can only think they thought if they watered the blue bells it would help them flower!

Just this week

This last week has been quite interesting with the "idiots?." The other day one of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" who works in the showroom with me said "..ck I have a problem, I can't wear these shoes any more" so I looked at his shoes and fair enough the top and bottom were a separate item. so he continued to tell me "I have a choice either I can wear white trainers or steel toe capped boots (fairly battered). "OH NO" I replied "white trainers and black trousers you'll look a right wally" (I have a delicate way with words!) "and steel toe capped boots is definite no no". I gave it some thought and decided if it had to be white trainers then a decent pair of jeans and white trainers until pay day would suffice. We came to work the next day and I was expectng my fellow co. worker to be dressed in a more casual fashion than usual but in the way we had agreed.I was surprised to notice him sporting the smart black shoes he had worn to work the first week and declared unwearable because they were uncomfortable. I haven't mentioned it to him but I am wondering what was the point of the debate about his footwear if he wasn't going to wear trainers and jeans after all.

This week started off in the usual Monday way. You know what I mean lots of problems and things to sort. In wandered one of my other fellow co. workers "idiots?" 45 minutes after everyone else. I could tell by the look on his face we were starting the week with an ailment. Not unusual I hear you say as I have blogged about this hypochondriach before. Well yesterday when I went in to his office he was sitting there with his finger all plastered up he was holding it out from his body so we could all see he had a "baddie" after a couple of hours of him wafting the offending finger about so I would ask I enquired about the "baddie" apparently he was cutting a washer because he was too tight to purchas the correct fixings for a tap and the knife slipped and caused the "baddie". I wish I hadn't enquired I should have known better. Because he then proceeded to tell me not only did he have the "baddie" he had burned his arm on the blow torch and he had a headache. Today the "baddie" is still bandaged up but we are focusing on the burn for the attention.

Pointless waste of road tax.

Friday afternoon one of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" went to do a measure and collect the samples from a customer. In she came today to return the samples "OH" says I. "I thought "idiot?" was collecting those on Friday when he did your measure." "Yes" she said "But when he measured he said he didn't have his van so could I return them today." I still can't get my head around the fact he asked the customer to drive three miles to the shop to return the samples because he didn't want to put them in the boot of his merc. Surely it's not rocket science to take the sampling in the car and transfer it to the van? but it was obviously too complicated for him to grasp! and now it's got even more complicated because he has failed to transfer the measure sheet from the car to the van so the poor customer can't even have her job priced. Thank god she did return the samples because who knows when the Merc. will come out of the garage again

No more chocolate

That's it Easter's well and truly over. Back to the day job tomorrow. I would like to say back to the "idiots?" but I'll tell you what they're cleverer than I give them credit for. Why? you may ask yourself. Because they are all on holiday this week except for me "boss idiot? husband" new "idiot?" and the subbies the rest of them will all be enjoying a lie in tomorrow. I feel a bit sorry for them really they're only prolonging the inevitable they have to come back some time so it might as well be tomorrow. I'm sure me "boss husband idiot?" new "idiot?" or shop as I like to call him will manage just fine. The stock take will be finalised and everything set up for our new year. The tea run will be much smaller, the washing up much less. Really I'm selling this to myself this week might just be easier with less "idiots?" to worry about!

Ashes to Ashes

I don't know if any of you watched the new series of Ashes to Ashes that started last night. I did hence the title of today's blog. You see I think I may be like Alex Drake. Not in looks unfortunately but I think I might have some how reverted to the 1980's.
My new fellow co. worker "possible idiot?" is really nice. He's got a great sense of humour and he knows a bit about the job so can relate to customers with just a little bit of guidance from me when required. All good you're thinking. BUT every now and then he reverts to a boy of about thirteen (instead of the thirty five year old he should be) We will be going along nicely and then all of a sudden he will say something I haven't heard since I was in the first year at secondary school. This first happened in the second week he worked with me. I was asking about previous jobs he's had and why he left them. And out he came with "They just didn't give a flying f***" I hadn't heard that expression for at least twenty years. And then another day the boys were have a laugh being a bit rude and out he came with "Giving a bo**r"(fill in the blanks yourself) And then on Thursday M*** had done a site survey for wood and he thought the room was damp. I wrote on the sheet smelled damp. My new fellow co. worker changed it to smelled a dump! Now I don't know what to do he's still on trial so I'm still deciding whether he's the man/boy for the job. In many ways he's invaluable he cuts off the stock helps with deliveries and is willing to help the other "idiots?" in any way he can. Should I phone his mum and check he is thirty five and not thirteen? should I Waite and see if Gene Hunt and the boys turn up in the Quattro? (this will confirm I have reverted to the 1980's) or should I drag him into 2010 kicking and screaming? I think I'll ask the easter bunny.

Communication resumed!

Oh dear I think my fellow co. workers must read my blog because communication is back to normal today. In came fellow co. worker from Wales moaning and groaning like he's the only one in the world that ever encounters problems in his life. Then in meandered fellow co. wok er "idiot?" who thinks he's the only one that put his clocks back on the weekend. All he's done all day is tell me what time it should be and tell me how he's missing his hour. Then because he's got to work the weekend he told me he thinks he'll have Tuesday off, oh and that he wont have a van next week because his wife's car is being fixed so he doesn't think he should do any measures because he will have to use his merc.Why is his wife's car being fixed? you are asking yourself. Because he rear ended another car in it! Why is the van his to do with what he wants? you are asking yourself. Because he totalled the van we bought for his use by crashing it head on. Why does he not want to use the merc.? you are enquiring. Because it's safer in the garage gathering dust than it is with him behind the wheel. Beware I you see a funny little man "idiot?" driving a merc. around town next week keep out of his way.

Communication (lack of!)

I am experiencing a very weird time in my life. I don't know if it's me or the "idiots?" but we don't seem to be on the same wave length. This week alone I have asked a fellow co. worker "idiot?" to go and move a door bar for a customer. In she came yesterday and said "haven't you noticed I haven't paid you?" "NO" says I "you have thirty days from your invoice date so it's not Overdue" "well your fitter hasn't moved my door bar and I'm not paying until he does."I asked him this morning why he hadn't done this and he told me "He wasn't wasting his time" when they should just have the door cut. I told him the customers always right and he went back today - job done-.Earlier today I discussed with another fellow co. worker "idiot?" a two hour window that we could use to catch up with paper work I'm still waiting and it's nearly time to go home so I guess that's not going to get done. At lunch time today another fellow co. worker rushed in to start his afternoon shift he was five minutes early so I'm not sure why he was so panicked about the time. He put his hand in his pocket and felt for his mobile and out came his house phone. It's been like that all week I'm not sure if it's them or me but I'm starting to worry a bit.

No Free Freddo!

What a disappointment today we had the delivery of our staionery ready for the start of another new year for me and the "idiots?". Usually the stationery gets delivered by the company we order off and there is always free chocolate. Today I was banking on my free freddo bar like I had with the last delivery.But NO the company used a courier and I didn't get any free chocolate. Either the delivery man has eaten it or they are using the money they spent on chocolate to pay for the courier.Either way I'm not happy!

Bed knobs and broom sticks

I don't know what has occurred but I think me and the "idiots?" have entered a parallel universe. It all started this morning at home hubby "idiot?" made me a sandwich for work when he knew full well I had saved some left overs from tea last night to warm up in the microwave for lunch. I got up extra early this morning so I wouldn't be late because the "idiots?" take the pi** as I do to them when they are late.But I was late any way first we had bathroom wars to contend with and then I had to follow a cyclist nearly all the way in. And then when I got here I wish I hadn't bothered. New assistant fellow co. worker "idiot?" had not been woken by his alarm and is not really with it and he's got a serious case of bed hair. the "idiots?" are waiting for a delivery that should have arrived yesterday and has still not arrived as write this at lunch time.And some feature strips for a job today are not the right colour. One of the "idiots?" is prepared to drive to Evesham to change them but they can't be exchanged until the tape recording of the order has been located and we are sent a copy by e-mail to verify the company has not made a mistake that it's the "idiot?" who placed the order who is wrong! Never mind the customer is waiting for us to sort this as quickly as we can 'cause she can't have her floor fitted without the strips. I really don't know what it's all coming to all the have to do is replace the wrong colour with the right colour and job done.

The "idiots?" are letting me down

Bad news the "idiots?" have not been around much for the last couple weeks so there has not been much funny stuff to blog about all work and no play and all that.
SO I have been thinking about funny scenarios that have happened in the past.This is one that happened to me a couple of years ago.
I know this is hard to believe but it was a very warm sunny day and I was serving in the warehouse. I was wearing an expensive pair of black trousers with a rear zip and a top that didn't cover the bum area.
I'm throwing samples around for the customer to select from stretching here and there and giving it my all. After about twenty minutes the customer says to me "you have a problem around the back dear" so I looked at the back door of the warehouse. I couldn't see anything amiss so I carried on with the patter. The customer says once again "You have a problem at the back dear" once again I looked at the back door. "No dear YOU have a problem at the back." Some how the penny dropped and I felt my behind. For god knows how long I had been showing my not so special not at all sexy underwear to all and sundry. We hurredly finished and off she went with samples. I relayed to a fellwo co. worker "idiot?" my problem and went home to change my trousers. On my return the show room had a que of people waiting to be served. Instead of him just getting on with it until I got back my fellow co. worker had informed all of them of my dilemma and they were all waiting for me to serve them. I have no idea how long my zip had been broken I could have been showing all for most of the day and people were just to polite or embarrassed to tell me. It didn't get any better either because the customer who had full view of my undergarments never made an order, and I binned the trousers because I will never risk a back zip again!

You can't kid a kidder

I am often repeating the phrase you can't kid a kidder. I am not stupid and I know when some one is not strictly telling me the truth. I can baffle with bulls*** as good as the next man. One of my fellow co. workers ("Idiots?") has now made me use this phrase again as I am typing this. The phone has just rung and of course it was some one he should have rung back hours ago. I apologised and put her through to his office. Out he bobbed after and said "I was just ringing her honestly" "NO you weren't" said I. "yes I was he argued" "NO you weren't because if you were the phone wouldn't have rung in your office" "well I heard the phone ring and put the receiver down my end just in case it was for me". I know and he knows this is so not true the phone rings for ages and ages and he doesn't answer it even when it's right next to him let alone in another part of the building!

Blond

Today was the great unveiling of a new product in our show room. We have invested in new display units that have a running video on the virtues of buying British wool products. The video starts in the fields of Darbyshire and the shearing of the sheep. This morning a rep.was in having coffee and a chat. I drew her attention to the new stand "Oh that's lovely" she said "but what do fields and sheep have to do with carpet?" After laughing at her I reminded her that wool comes from sheep "doh!" I had to forgive her because she doesn't work for a carpet supplier and she has very blond hair.

Mystery solved?

Way back in July last year I posted about a mysterious event. One of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") had sold a brown rem. and when we had tried to organise the fitting of this mysterious piece of carpet it had disappeared off the face of the earth. Last Thursday my new fellow co. worker ("idiot?") and myself decided that we would re-roll (that's the royal we because I can't handle the rems. there too heavy for me!) the rems and make sure they were all priced. And guess what lo and behold the brown rem. reappeared. Like a fool I said to my new fellow co. worker "where did that come from?" he just looked at me a bit weird because of course he didn't know about the great mystery. I honestly have no idea where he found it I'm just glad the mystery is solved. No more sleepless nights wondering what happened to brown rem. any more.

Thwarated by the bloody weather again!

Is it never going to end? That's how I feel about the weather. Once again the trusty four by four has been called in to action. Twice today some of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") have tried to get to site in the van. Twice this has been a no go. So here I sit with no wheels as the trusty four by four has been loaded with work gear and gone into action.Am I alone you are asking yourself. NO my new fellow co. worker ("idiot?) lives within walking distance so I have company. But as usual my fellow co. worker who always runs home in terror at the first flake of snow is long gone!

Anxious to impress

My newly employed sales man come estimator is anxious to impress me with his knowledge. He has worked in two carpet outlets before so knows a bit about the products and is familiar with pricing. I have heard the sentence before a little knowledge can be dangerous. On Friday we were looking at carpet ranges so he could familiarise himself with our product range. "Of course" he said "these are obviously all 1/10th gauge because you have written it on the label. "No" I said "That was the date they were priced January(1) and 2010 (10). He has worked with me now for two full days and two half days. I have noticed that if I let him run with his over exuberance for the first hour he soon calms down and by the time he has done three hours he is almost in a stupor. I am looking forward to the day he comes in and doesn't try to impress.

Saturday working

I have taken on a new "idiot?" fellow co. worker who is hopefully going to work most of the Saturdays in the shop. So I have now picked up my bag put on my coat and hopefully this is the last Saturday I have to work in a while. I am hoping this fellow co. worker "idiot?" is the answer to my prayers. But I am reserving judgement for now. He could turn out to be the biggest idiot yet!

Just like the weather

I have blogged many times about a fellow co. worker ("idiot?") who is so moody I can't put up with him. Well today I have decided he's as unpredictable as the weather. He's not having a good time at the moment. He's had man flu like me and his van has blown a watcha ma callit and so will go now where this week. So he would have an excuse to be moody and bad tempered. But is he? "NO" today he is every ones best friend and as helpful as he can be. I will never understand the way a mans mind works!

Bad Kneese broken vans and man flu!

Just when you think things can't get any worse they do! Saturday dawned with an itchy scratchy throat for me. A sure clue that a cold is to follow and it did. so Monday morning in I struggled (no assistant remember) I am interviewing a prospective fellow co. worker at 11 o'clock and I pray he is miracle sent from heaven (he might be I haven't decided yet whether or not to give him a three month trial period.) At about 8.45 the phone rang it was one of my fitters his van had blown a summat or other. But the good news was it was going again. I phoned all the customers to inform them the fitter would be late and carried on regardless. At 9.45 the phone went again it was the same fitter the summat or other had blown again and he was heading back home could I organise for him to borrow a van if he came up in his car? a bit of reorganising achieved this. Against all the odds Monday came and went in haze of broken vans and soggy tissues and olbas oil. Tuesday dawned I still had man flu the van was still broken and I had that de ja vu (that might be spelt wrong!) feeling. Towards lunchtime another fitter came in to the show room who was working today (Wednesday) "I just need to tell you" he said "I have been to the physio and I need to rest my knee, so I can't fit as much as usual." Today (Wednesday) I still have man flu the van is still broken the bad knee is not so bad and I am praying that Friday comes around very quickly.

I will survive

I know I will survive this period of the unknown unwanted and uncertain.But I can tell you now it is not enjoyable. 2010 seems to have got off to a shaky start. What with the weather the credit crunch and being short staffed I just don't seem to be able to get in to the swing of normality that is my comfort zone.
I have spent the week interviewing prospective "idiots?" fellow co. workers. I have sifted through the applicants thinking I am weeding out the duds and arranging informal interviews with the possibles. It has to be an informal interview because whilst trying to ascertain if the interviewee is remotely any good I am serving the customers and answering endless telephone calls so it would be pointless trying to be formal. It's amazing how people really turn out once you get to chat to them. In bowled one interviewee just like a whirl wind. "Take a seat" says I "This is nothing scary I just a want to tell you about the job and what you would be required to do." I then quickly run over the requirements making sure they understand that holiday and sickness cover is very important. (I have decided I definitely want holidays and I would really like to stay at home when I'm ill, instead of working and taking so much longer to get better.)"No problem" she said. And then we chatted some more. The more we chatted the more eccentric she became. She went on and on about a life changing event that made her want to grab life by horns. This life changing event was why she wanted part time hours, and it only affected her ability to stand for long periods, walk very far, and her eye sight. Of course once I found out all the reasons she would not be very suitable I just wanted to end the agony and get on with my day.I tried all ways I could to end her chatter, but she wouldn't take the hint. At some point she had babbled on about her beautiful pink car she seemed really into the vehicle so I came up with an idea. "I will show you where we take deliveries" I said "It's out in the car park and then you can show me your car." Out we went. I opened the back door of our unit and scanned the car park for her pink car. No pink car to be seen. "what do you think?" she said. I couldn't think of an answer. "Lets have a proper look" I finally came up with. So she took me over to a silver car. It did have a pink gear stick and some pink accents on the interior, but during our chat she had told me it was pink with pink flowers all over it. We finally said our goodbyes and I went back to work. Later that morning I checked my e-mails she had e-mailed me thanking me for my time.She also informed me when she gets the job she will give me a manicure and cut my hair. I am hoping Gok Whan is coming for an interview this week and he can give me total make over.

I've survived the first week

It's Friday today and I've survived the first week in the showroom on my own without an assistant on Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday. And the doddery assistant on Monday and Friday. On the whole it's not been too bad, helped considerably on Wednesday by the weather I have managed to do everything I needed to. The major downsides to being on my own are firstly and most importantly I can't use the ladies powder room without making a grand entrance in to the warehouse to greet whom ever has entered whilst I am powdering my nose. I don't know why but someone always does come in whilst I am making use of the facilities. I usually make some Witty comment about even the queen needing to use the loo, and sometimes I get a smile other times I get a grim look as if to say "my god what are you on?" other times by the time I've washed my hands and swept into the warehouse they've turned around and left the building!The other downsides to being on my Larry are I have to serve every customer and take every delivery. At times this week I have considered that if I don't get an assistant I could lose a couple of stone from all the running around and not having time to eat so this could be an added bonus. I have started to speak to prospective assistance on the telephone today. So far it looks like it might take a while to find someone.

One of those days

Yesterday was definitely one of those days. We had a delivery of a big order ready for fitting on Monday. I don't know why but at around lunch time something triggered in my mind that all was not well. I looked at the delivery note and alarm bells started to ring.The product had a different name to the one I had ordered, sometimes this is not a problem as it is not unusual (don't ask me why) for a range to have more than one name. I dug out the sample of what I had ordered and went to the delivery unit and cut open the bags. Today was not my day, it was the wrong product. In to a flat spin I went, phoned the customer and informed her, and then phoned the supplier to inform them, of course they don't have any stock of the right product to replace it so without further ado I reorganise Monday and then try to sort the mess out. Down came the customer to the showroom to inspect what had been delivered, she didn't dislike it so took the samples home to see if she would accept the item delivered. If she was going to have this product instead this would mean changing another product ordered for another area as this would not match. It is now 2.45 on a Friday afternoon not the best time for sorting out problems. The customer decided she would go with the delivered item. BUT it must be fitted Monday as the original plan. This meant sorting out the order for the alternative product and rearranging the fitting plan for Monday once again. Not an impossible task, but it would mean a lot of running around and organising. Up popped a fellow co. worker ("idiot?") as I am running around getting product codes etc. was she going to be any help? you wonder NO she was not.She stood right in the way of the things I needed and started to tell me about a programme she had watched on television during the week. I managed to run around her and get things done. I was sitting at my desk just after this incident when in came a customer, the door buzzer alerted my fellow co. worker to the customers entry, so up she popped from the warehouse, looked all around the show room, shrugged her shoulders and then went back to whatever she was doing, which was probably combing her hair. The customer was duly served by another fellow co. worker ("idiot?"). The end of this truly trying day finally came. The key was turned in the lock and I looked around. My fellow co. worker ("idiot?") who spends so much time combing her hair had supposedly vacuamed the showroom, but it was all covered in fluff from the samples. I think she must push the vacuam around because she likes the sound of it not really looking to see if she is improving the state of the floor.I spent the next twenty minutes making it fluff free ready for today.

No sense of humour

Oh dear. I think one of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" is definitely suffering from a lack of humour. In he meandered at 2.30 today he is not supposed to work on a Wednesday by choice and I am pretty damn sure today is Wednesday. So me being me I looked up and said "no point in meandering in now the day is nearly over" and instead of just ignoring me and carrying on, he threw a wobbler and walked out! either I am in big trouble for upsetting him or all the other "idiots?" will get me a thank you card for saying what they think.

Not a great start to 2010

HELP! Tuesday lunchtime one of my part time assistants in the show room told me they had been offered a full time job they couldn't refuse. I understand completely that they have been offered a fabulous opportunity. But boy am I in the sh**. I now have to advertise the position and then IF a suitable applicant is found train them and then watch them for months to see if they are telling the customers the right information and showing the right products. It would be so much easier just to do it all myself. BUT I've done that for so many years I just don't want to go back there. Over the years I have had seven previous part timers. One didn't tell me she had had an illness that meant she had no short term memory, this meant you asked her to do something and before she got out the door it had been forgotten. One was always moving house and came to work one day in her slippers and told me if I wanted her to serve the customers I would need to lend her my jumper, because she couldn't find any of hers. Another threw a wobbler when the magic word NO was used when she asked for a day off. I've even had a Saturday morning assistant who was male and supposed to be there to help me carry the heavy stuff who was as much use as an handbrake on a canoe, so I used to carry it out myself! So I am so not looking forward to meeting the rabble who apply. I've done this before so I know how it will go. I will advertise the position and state apply in writing, because I know I can't handle the endless phone calls that will ensue from potential applicants or the extra foot fall from the ones who will just wander in. The position will be advertised on a Wednesday and Thursday Friday will be taken up answering the phone and speaking to people in person telling them to APPLY IN WRITING!! A few I hope will be suitable enough to interview. Then I will explain it's not like selling beans. There is a lot of product knowledge to take in and it's all maths working out the the M2 of the room and giving the price etc. plus you need to have a personality that is condusive to customer service and getting the sale.Hopefully after all this I am going to find a treasure who is going to fit all the critera required. If I don't it's just me again with between ten and fourteen hours per week assistance which is not much when I work at least forty three and a half hours per week. No more blogging at work for a while. I think I wont even have time to use the loo in peace. Please let me win the lottery tonight and then I wont have to worry about it.

It's all about image

Yes it is very cold BUT did my fellow co. worker "idiot?" have to come to work today wearing his christmas cardie with fur trimmed hood black track suit bottoms (nylon) and white trainers? I don't think so! the rest of us managed to get dressed in suitable clothing to keep us warm and managed to look clean and tidy so why couldn't he?
In he trotted about half an hour after every one else "what have you go on?" I chanted. "It's cold" he told me as if I didn't already know. Then he swished into the office. The office that is really toasty and warm, unlike the show room that we can't get warm because people keep opening the door and letting the cold air in and here he stayed. He did pop out once or twice during the day in to my cold world but he didn't stay very long.

It really is snow joke

I was right the trusty four by four got me to work again today. I don't know if I'll get any customers but I you just got to try.

This morning I was drinking my tea just thinking about the journey home yesterday. The trusty four by four was packed with fellow co. workers who were having a lift home. I got in the back. I was swapping my shoes for boots, because I knew the weather would be far worse where I live. "You all right?" my fellow co. worker who was in the back with me enquired. "yes" said I as I struggled into my boots. I thought I was struggling because I didn't have much room. I got out of the car at my house and then all became apparent. I had forced my boots on to the wrong feet. You would think at my age I would know my left from right.

I have two fellow co. workers who live in the same village. I have spoken to both of them today the one agreed with me that we had about 1ocm or so of snow. The other fellow co. worker "idiot?" must be prone to exaggeration because he insisted that he had 18 - 20cm and obviously he couldn't come to work. He didn't even falter when I told him this seemed a bit odd as I had spoken to **** about the snow and he only lives just up the road from him. If the exaggerating fellow co. worker didn't annoy me so much I would go and pick him up in the trusty four by four and bring him in, but I think I prefer it without him!

Snow joke

How are we supposed to get back to normal when the weather keeps messing everything up?
Living as we do in the good old Forest of Dean the snowy weather plays havoc with getting out and about. Customers just don't understand if they live in town, that us poor "idiots?" that live in the Forest can't get off our drives or out of the roads we live on to get to work. But hey I'm guessing unless there is a significant snow fall tonight boss "idiot?" husband and myself will be negotiating the slippery sloaps in our trusty four by four just in case a Towny wants to come in to our store and purchase. Today once again when the snow started one of my fellow co. workers "idiot?" started to get restless, this is the fellow co. worker "idiot?" that's always bragging he can drive anywhere in the snow it's other people that can't. I suppose it had been snowing for about an hour when he couldn't contain himself any longer and anounced to one and all he was going home. I will admit he does live in the Forest and driving was a bit tricky, but it wasn't too bad, and if he would just admit he doesn't like driving in the snow, instead of spouting off to one and all what a clever bast**** he is and how he can get anywhere in the snow I would respect his decision to go home. But I know as soon as the snow has gone he will stand in his favourite position in front of the heater by my desk and tell me what a brilliant driver he is. And what will I do? roll my eyes and maybe make a smart comment, knowing as soon as there is another snowy day off he will race like a whippet as soon as it starts to stick. And I will still be at work and I will have to drive home in the snow and I HATE driving in the snow!

Can you guess who it was?

Yesterday I went out shopping. I was just going down the road heading for Marks and Spencers when I heard "Are you not working today?" I turned around and it was a fellow co. worker "idiot?". He was wearing his brown christmas cardie with fur trimmed hood, black nylon jogging bottoms and huge white trainers. In fact the very same outfit I last saw him wearing on Thursday when we were completing the shop make over. Can you guess which fellow co. worker this was? If you need another clue he dug into his pocket and pulled out a W H Smith voucher. "Do you think I can still use this?" he asked. He had found it over the christmas break. I can't remember if it was one or two years old. I tootled off to carry on shopping, he went to W H Smith to see if he could still use his voucher.

When we're open the doors unlocked

I would like to inform any customers who follow my blog when the show room is open the door is unlocked!
After a long day yesterday our show room make over is complete. And I think it looks fabulous. contemporary and modern without being too clinical. During the make over customers kept knocking on the door, down the ladder we would get look for the keys and open the door "Are you open?" they enquired. "NO" I mean to say I think a show room without any samples and two scruffy people pasting wall paper and a locked door is a bit of give away that you are not actually open for business.
Yesterday was the last big push to get it all put back together so we could at least have the long weekend to enjoy a break before it's back to normal trading next week, and me and some of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" set to to get it finished. The fellow co. worker "idiot?" who helped on Sunday with the glossing even turned up. I don't think he intended to do much because he was wearing his new christmas cardie with a fur trimmed hood.No one told him that the evening before was spent re-doing most of the glossing he did on Sunday because he had missed lots of areas. I don't think they said anything because on Sunday he told us he was really good at painting and could have done it for a career he just doesn't enjoy doing it. I love listening to this fellow co. worker "idiot?" because according to him he is good at everything and I know different. As the day wore on it all started to take shape and we got to the point where it just needed another vacuam through but I had to pop out. When I got back one of the "idiots?" told me the vacuam cleaner wasn't picking up so I told him to empty it. It turned out he meant on the tools option so I told him there is a two pence stuck in the tube all you have to do is take the tube out and only use the hose. Would he do this? NO he spent the next half an hour trying to remove a two pence that I knew was well lodged and would go no where. I wandered off and did something else. When I came back he told me had fixed the vacuam by swapping parts with another. Good thinking I thought. Until I came to use the vacuam cleaner, when you used the tools option the hose wouldn't stay on the tube at all, so how is this fixed? I thought you can still only use the the tube if you hold really tight on to the hose and tube, so you might as well have not bothered!