Just make up the rules why don't you!

In carpet retail it's all over bar the shouting.We work up until Friday but in the great scheme of things it's all done. Orders placed fittings organised. Yes we're waiting for a few last minute deliveries but apart from disasters we're not doing a whole lot in the shop until we return in January.Yesterday afternoon turned into a bit of a social. a couple of reps. came in bearing gifts which was lovely. A box of handmade cup cakes went down well with the sparkly edible glitter. And we even received a big box with choccies diaries champagne and wine. We were enjoying a beverage with the bearers of these gifts when the rules changed. Up sneaked a fellow co. worker and said in my ear "I'm off now I've got nothing else to do." It was 3 o'clock this fellow co. worker knew I couldn't do anything. I was trapped with gift bearers. So off the "idiot?" sloped. This morning in he came full of the joys of the season (NOT!).And then I enquired "What was that all about yesterday?". His reply was he had nothing to do. Well I've got news for him. If I'm staying here until my allotted finish time so is he!

I don't bloody believe it

Yesterday in mooched a fellow co. worker "idiot?". He ummed and ahhed a bit. And then said "I don't feel too good today. Is it all right if I work until lunch time and then go home?" I looked at him and believe it or not I fell for it. I thought oh he looks unwell so I agreed. As the morning went on the "idiot?" fellow co. worker got brighter and brighter and completely forgot the dying swan act. At about 12.30 he walked past my desk with his sandwiches in his hand. Hang on thought I, your working until lunch time but you're eating your lunch in the hours your working. Summats not right. Then the telephone rang. A mysterious stranger was meeting my fellow co. worker at 1 o'clock. The fellow co. worker wasn't ill at all the bloody "idiot?" hadn't thought this through at all. It was obvious he had arranged to meet this guy for one reason or another and had decided in his wisdom to pretend he was poorly to gain the afternoon off without argument. Today this fellow co. worker mooched in again. Absolutely steaming angry because the mysterious stranger hadn't actually purchased the item he had viewed yesterday that was for sale on e-bay. You would think he would at least have had the decency to carry on the charade for a couple of days instead of completely taking the piss!

Movember

Avid blog followers know I don't like November. It's the busy time in carpet retail, and yes I know we should be grateful it's busy and I really truly am grateful.
BUT Movember is adding to my troubles. As expected a fellow co. worker "idiot?" came back from his holidays sporting "The Beard!" Not a nice tidy trendy neat affair. NO a bushy unruly straggly curly affair. He seems quite pleased with results I am NOT. I will stand by word I did tell him if he could grow a beard in his time off it would be acceptable at work. I'm hoping he will get bored with it very quickly and shave it off but I fear just to annoy me it's going to be staying for a while.

What's it all about?

I can't fathom it. My fellow co. workers "idiots?" just don't seem to get it. This morning out popped an "idiot?" from the back office. "I can't find ****** folder." This would be a work folder need for today. "Don't be stupid" said I. "No one was in your office yesterday. I was working on my own. It doesn't have legs. Go back and have another look." Off he popped. The folder wasn't mentioned again. And the boys went off to there job. I can only assume the folder turned up! A little bit later a fellow co. worker "idiot?" phoned up moaning quite what he expected me to do to solve his problems I do  not know. He winged away and then put the phone down. I can only assume he solved the problems for himself! perhaps I should start a help line. Wingers anonymous phone me with all your problems and they'll solve themselves. I might just give that a go.

I want to grow a beard

Sometimes I have issues with a fellow co. worker "idiot?" we disagree that appearance matters. Now we can't come to work dressed up to the nines because believe it or not selling carpet can be a mucky job. We get covered in fluff, we spend a lot of time crawling about on the floor displaying things and measuring can be risky with wet paint etc. BUT my motto is you never get a second chance to make a first impression. My fellow co. worker even has a uniform he is supplied with a polo shirt and I expect him to wear black trousers black shoes and a black jumper if it's cold. I also expect him to have tidy hair and be clean Shaven unless he has enough time off to grow a proper beard which I would accept. This week this has been a problem. Monday in he popped wearing a random navy polo shirt not the black polo shirt provided. His hair was tidy but he was not clean shaven. This always causes me concern should I just ignore it or do I challenge him? I chose to ignore until lunch time when husband "boss idiot?" came in. He asked me to have a word with my fellow co. worker. So I did. Apparently he didn't have any clean work polo shirts. This baffles me as he hadn't worked the weekend. How long does it take to wash and dry a few polo shirts? not long I think. Tuesday came around my fellow co. worker was in the correct T shirt but he still hadn't shaved his trousers needed mending at the pockets and his hair was messy. I had another word. Wednesday was better correct polo shirt trousers mended and he'd had a shave. His shoes needed a polish but I kept quiet. Peace rained over us until yesterday. I think my fellow co. worker was feeling brave because he's on a ten day holiday now. We had just eaten lunch when he brought up the subject of his appearance. He informed me I  have spoiled his efforts to grow a beard and he thinks I'm out of order. I informed him if he can grow a beard in any time off he is welcome to come to work with a beard. I will not accept him coming to work looking unkempt whilst he endeavours to grow a beard. He then informed his ten day holiday is not long enough for him to grow a full beard. I don't know what he expects me to do. We have had the beard conversation many times he knows the score but keeps on pushing me to change my mind. This is not going to happen. Job in show room with me means you need to wear your correct polo shirt, black trousers, black jumper if required, have tidy hair and be clean shaven. I can't make it any clearer. I don't know how it's going to be on his return. I'm thinking he's going to have some scraggy facial growth and it's going to start all over again.

What holiday?

Just over a week since I returned from my holiday and I've forgotten I had one. Last week was horrendous. On the Monday (the day I last blogged) first day back at work and all that I was knackered. I managed to stumble through the day some how. But I was delighted to see the end of it. Off I went home did a few jobs eat my meal and being the party animal I am went to bed to watch Doc. Martin. As I said  I was extremely tired and just about managed to watch the Doc. for an hour and then it was good night from me. I was awoken from my blissful slumber by the phone ringing. I tried to ignore it and put my pillow over my head. But it wouldn't stop. At this point I registered how annoying the ring tone selected is. Husband "idiot?" leaped out of bed and answered the call. It was our fellow co. workers "idiots?" who were working nights at Cheltenham hospital. " We're very sorry but we have blown the transformer. And we need you to deliver another one." Granted it was only 11.45 but I was in a deep sleep and not at all happy to be awoken. I could hear hubby saying "No problem give me an hour and I'll be there." I was thinking oh shit! of course he was still in holiday mode and had enjoyed a drink or two with his meal. I had not. There was no way he was going to be able to drive the van. I stumbled about in my nightie I knew I needed to put on clothes but as we had the builders in whilst we were away I had no idea where anything was. I found some jeans and jumper and on they went on top of my nightie of course. Off we went I was freezing. It was blowing a gale and peeing down with rain. Just two days before I was complaining I was too hot and seeking the shade.What a difference a day makes!! Any way we agreed to meet a fellow co. worker "idiot?" just outside Gloucester and fair enough he was at the agreed rendezvous point at the appointed time. I pulled in  and out of his van he jumped. It was about 12.30 and he was eating a banana I thought I was going to part with my tea there and then it really turned my stomach. I didn't get out the van. Hubby handed over the new transformer they had a little conflab and then we headed back to home. I thought fabulous I'll just get back into bed and go straight to sleep. BUT NO I spent the rest of the night watching the clock tick around I just couldn't get warm and get back to sleep. The boys are doing nights again next week so I'm going to unplug the phone.

Ray of sunshine

I'm back from  my sunshine break. My fellow co. workers "idiots?" have been left alone for one week. I think the break has done them good. I know for sure the break has done me the world of good.
On my travels I was lucky enough to meet many interesting people. Budgie (I named him this) and Mrs Budgie. This couple were to be found every day lounging by the sea. As his name would indicate Budgie wore the smallest swimmers I have ever seen in my life. He had a different design for every day of the week. Leopard skin snake print, zebra print you name it he had the design. At over six feet tall he strutted his stuff for all and sundry to admire. Vlad and Mrs Vlad (my name for this couple) this pair could be found every day in the sauna, be it the ladies or gents in they went together for hours at a time. Then they would pop out for an hour and then back in how much time can you spend in a sauna? I expected to see them melted in a heap on the floor. Then there was big Carl (not his real name) he'd hired a bike and off in to the mountains he went clad in his lycra gear. At dinner he was with a lady. I couldn't work it out was it his friend? was it his sister? they didn't seem to have a lot in common. He would stride out for a long walk swim in the sea or ride his bike. She was no where to be seen until dinner time when they shared the same table. On our last day it turned out big Carl and his WIFE yes they were married shared the same flight as us. We got chatting as we waited for our taxis to the airport. We discussed the pleasant walk from the hotel to the port where we had passed big Carl on several occasions. "Oh" said his wife "that walk was too far for me so I hired a bike." All the occasions we had seen big Carl racing up the road she was riding her bike up the road because she was too  lazy to take a twenty minute walk. When we got on to the plane home big Carl even swapped his seat so he didn't even sit by her on the way home. I'm sure they will have a long and happy marriage seen as they don't meet up very much.

Rubber balls

Carpet reps. are like rubber balls -they keep bouncing back to you- they leave one supplier  and join another very quickly and they then expect you to change your allegiance to the new company. This week I have had the misfortune to receive a visit from one such rubber ball. He has already called on me wearing his new company hat before this visit. Where I lost two hours of my life hearing the story how the new company head hunted him. He's quite a tall plumpish man with a liking for pink shirts and matching ties. This combo. goes very well to match his ruddy colouring and ginger moustache. One of his foibles is when he's telling you how important and clever he is he inevitably starts to twitch and bristle with the excitement of his story. This does make concentrating and trying to look interested just that little bit harder. This week he told me the same old stories with just a little embellishment here and there. And I thought I was doing a great job pretending to listen. And then he topped it. In his words "The new company treat me just like a god." I've got news for him. If his figures don't match expectations he's going to be shopping for a new hat regardless of his perceived god like status. Welcome to the real world rubber ball!!

Junk mail

What a Monday. We have had a most unusual day. There can't possibly be another person in the Forest of Dean who needs to come in or telephone with a bizarre request or question. If this was not enough reason to have the Monday blues I don't know what is. Some of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" have had genuinely trying weekends for one reason or another. And I myself did not get the planned restful weekend I had hoped for. But once again a particular fellow co. worker "idiot?" has taken the biscuit.
In he trooped this morning twenty minutes late "you've got a really busy day" I said. "you need to get going now or you wont fit it all in." He ignored me and drank a cup of tea. Eventually after much persuasion he went off in his van. Five minutes later he was back. He'd forgotten a folder he needed to take. Off he went again. A few hours later he has returned. He sat down to eat his lunch "I've had a terrible weekend" he said. I thought oh my god is it his pussy? could his wife not find her umbrella?(see old blog posts) has he hurt his back? NO it was because he'd  spent yesterday sorting his junk mail. Apparently it took him six and a half hours. In his words "I've had a really bad weekend. I had to apologise to M****** (his wife) because I was really p***ed off. I had to open all the envelopes to see what was inside and burn the contents." I'm not really sure why he thinks he's the only person who has to do this. I've never come in to work and complained that sorting my junk mail has ruined my weekend. And now I'm really worried how he'll cope should a real disaster occur in his life. I sometimes wonder is he for real??

Pot kettle Black

Unfortunately of late we've suffered from an outbreak of selfishness among our crew. My fellow co. workers "idiots?" have forgotten they're employed to do a job of work, and each of them in turn in one way or another over the last month or so have decided that they can do just as they please. If they want a holiday they've taken one with not much notice and absolutely no consideration for others. If they've got a problem some how it's become my problem.And to be perfectly honest I've had enough.
Today an "idiot?" took the biscuit. A measure was organised for 10.30 "you'll have to change that" he said I've got a rep. coming at 10.00. I moaned a bit about customers being the most important thing and reps. well they don't matter. But I phoned and changed the appointment anyway. The next measure was booked for 11.30 "you'll have to change that" the "idiot?" said again "I've got a bad back again. And I'm going away for the week end and the only appointment I can get for treatment is 12.30." I was not happy to say the least. For the last few weeks this "idiot?" has been telling me that our other fellow co. workers need to toe the line and realise which side their bread is buttered etc. etc. etc. How we can't organise the work around their needs they need to fit around the work. And he's got the audacity to make the whole day fit around his needs!

All forgotton

Friday was hysterical. Poorly pussy old news. Bad back forgotten. My fellow co. worker "idiot?" had a puncture  the angst that entailed took over any problems he thought he already had. In he dashed and I mean dashed "Hi Lynford Christie" I said. The irony of this comment was lost on him. Out he dashed to get his tyre fixed he didn't even bother to say goodbye. All I saw was a fast moving blurr. All I could make out was he was wearing his christmas cardie with the fur trimmed hood. It must be the season to break out the winter wardrobe.

Pussy's on the back burner

Oh my, my fellow co. worker "idiot?" has had to put his pussy problem on the back burner. Friday I reminded him it was his turn to work Saturday. This went down like a lead balloon. How was he to manage his pussy's medication? I reminded him he's got a wife and she's perfectly able to do this.So the matter was dealt with. Today my fellow co. worker has got an ailment. Now regular followers of my blog know this fellow co. worker "idiot?" loves an ailment. This morning all my fellow co. workers "idiots?" apart from me and the owner of pussy are at site on a big job that has to be finished by Wednesday. So me and the other "idiot?" knew we were going to have a busy couple of days. He was going out to do a latex this morning to help out. I could see when he walked in all lop sided any notion of him being helpful was out the window. He huffed puffed and winced and the only thing on his mind was getting as much attention mileage out of this back problem as possible.He has gone to do a measure but all other tasks for him are on hold because he's going home after the measure because he feels "out of sorts" I am now left alone and poor pussy is looking after itself.

Great news (not!)

Great news for all in the retail industry. Billions of pounds have  been wiped off the financial market over night, so we all have even less money to spend than when we went to bed. Why oh why  they think they have to inform us every five minutes about this doom and gloom I do not know.
When I listen to the news every day I thank him upstairs that the "idiots?" and I are still managing to please our customers.I suppose the great news is that although I think the boys are "idiots?" they know what they're doing when it comes to flooring and that's all that counts!

Update from Monday

Yesterday my fellow co. worker with the poorly pussy came in on time for a change. He sauntered about a bit and then informed he wasn't feeling well because his pussy being poorly has "shook him up" not to mention his telephone has  now broken and it's been an expensive weekend for him. He then told me he thought he might have to finish work at lunch time to collect the poorly pussy from the vets. Any how the vet telephoned shortly after to inform my fellow co. worker "idiot?" that Mr Sylvie the poorly pussy needed another night in the poorly pussy hospital. I don't know if it was the fact that it was going to cost £100 extra on his bill for the extra night in the poorly pussy hospital or the fact that he would have to work all day that upset my fellow co. worker the most but he was not a happy chappy. The next telephone call we got was from J*** the arrogant rep. who thinks I'm invisible. He had phoned just to make sure that the scant information I was able to give him on his visit the previous day was correct. Me being only a woman the fact that  I told him the product he peddles is actually very good and we will continue to use it may have been incorrect!!
I am hopeful that today Mr Sylvie the poorly pussy is going to come home. But I am slightly concerned that my fellow co. worker may have to stay home and pander to his poorly pussy's whims. I will update you when I know.

Invisible

I don't know how or why but we have a rep. that thinks I don't exist. I've told him before not to do this but in he came again today and said "oh is no one here n***" and once again I said " No J*** I'm bloody invisible" what he means is are any of the fellas here but once again he p***ed me off. Then in came a customer for nosings, now I knew exactly what he wanted and the right questions to ask. But oh no J*** answered all the questions for me. I let him have his head and then said to the customer "I answered all that without opening my mouth." Still this bloody arrogant man chuntered on as if I didn't exist. And then he wondered why I didn't want to exchange pleasantries with him. My god some times I think we're still in the dark ages in  the flooring industry.

paws for thought

My Sunday peace and quiet has been shattered. A fellow co.worker "idiot?" came banging on my door just as I was cooking my Sunday roast. In he walked doing a brilliant impression of someone who has had or is having a major crisis. OH NO thought I. Not this week, as I know this week is going to be SHIT. We are short staffed and over worked. He sat down and said "I'm telling you now because I don't want to tell you tomorrow. I'm having problems this week." OH NO thought I he's suffered a loss of some kind or a major kind of family problem. He sighed and puffed and then said "my cats ill it's been in a fight." Now I don't want to seem unsympathetic BUT this "idiot?" has a responsible job he has commitments he has fulfil I need a better reason than a poorly cat for him not to be in work tomorrow giving his all. He better get his ass in gear and his head out of the clouds we got some serious shit to sort this week!

Today is a disaster.

You can tell it's Monday. Today is a disaster. First thing, in I meandered to put my lunch in the fridge. One of the "idiots?" oops fellow co. worker had already put his lunch in. I don't know how he didn't notice the fridge was full of water. A fellow co. worker had turned the fridge off on Saturday and not switched it back on. Off to Tesco I went to purchase fresh milk. On my return I was informed one of the fitters now had one job on today instead of three. He was not a happy bunny! another fellow co. worker went to place an order for a job that's going down this week NO STOCK stock production expected mid September!! as this day has worn on things have not improved. At ten o'clock I had only consumed one cuppa this is unheard of I need at least three before ten thirty. Now to top it all an "idiot?" oops again. Has cut his hand and been for a hospital visit and we have a bed delivery this afternoon that requires two able bodied males. I am hoping against all hope tomorrow is a better day.

Electricity update

Yesterday the admin assistant to the landlord bowled in. She was carrying an electric bill for the units used before the electricity metre fiasco.She presented it with great aplomb. I looked at husband boss "idiot?" he didn't get why I was giving him the look. The admin assistant left."How did she get that bill together?" I asked husband. He didn't know what I was talking about. No one had taken a metre reading. The landlord and or his assistant had plucked a figure from the air and decided that's how much electricity we must have used. We read the metre like a normal person would do. We had used half the units he had billed us for. The bill had been returned UNPAID!!

Why would we?

Friday in bowled the landlord. As bold as brass. "Hello Ni***" he said "did *** tell you we're putting a new electric metre in today?" "No" I replied. Any how the installation went ahead. As soon as the electric was turned off down came a scrote from the flats upstairs. "I don't got any electric" he said. OH NO I thought something's not right. The electrician wouldn't tell me anything. But at the end of his installation and with the persuasion of a cuppa he informed me "I think this metre is feeding upstairs." Alarm bells rang very loudly. Of course the landlord was unavailable for comment. It turned out he put a credit on the metre of £100. This morning we came in and the metre was empty. I phoned him URGENTLY! he popped in and said "well Ni*** I don't want to invoice you any more. So I had the metre put in. You put the credit on and invoice me for the electric you haven't used." How the hell is that going to work? There is no way in this world I'm feeding that metre for the scrotes upstairs and invoicing him because I know and he knows if he's honest with himself he 'aint going to pay. Frantic phone calls ensued. Husband boss "idiot?" nearly came to blows with the landlord. An electrician was called he came and tapped into the electric in our units these units are not billed by the landlord. The metre is still empty, it still feeds the flats upstairs. Because it's on business premises it wont stop the electricity until business hours are over. Oh dear I wouldn't want to live in the flats upstairs. Because they wont have any electric tonight.

Not the only "idiots?"

Today I have discovered that it's not just my boys that are "idiots?". This week we're having a feature in the local free paper. Great you may think what fabulous coverage. Well it's not been quite like that. Friday up popped the chappie to do the editorial. We had a chat and off he went with his information. I had told him whilst we were chatting we didn't want any bull s***. What did he come back with? a load of old bull ****! On Friday we arranged for some photographs to be taken today. I'm photo phobic so I told him "it's imperative that people are around to go in this photo.Because I'm not doing it on my own." Straight forward and to the point. This morning at 8.45 the time we had arranged to meet, the 'phone rang. "Hi it's **** I've forgotten my camera today can we do the photo's tomorrow?" "NO" was my response "today I have people tomorrow it's just me. I'm sorry but you'll have to sort something out. Oh and by the way I've written some editorial that's nearer the truth and I'll e-mail to you." That went down well as you can imagine. Later in the morning I had a phone call a photographer had been arranged and was on his way. And I was informed although my grammar was not quite correct the paper would be using the editorial material I had written. He e-mailed it back for me to check. He had added a few dots and dashes!!

Where am I?

Pay day is always an interesting event with my fellow co. workers "idiots?" you have to remind them days ahead about their time sheets. And then when you finally get them they can be an interesting read. This month they all duly filled in the sheets nearly as required. One fellow co. worker "idiot?" had filled the hours in lovely. The section where it said "site" they are supposed to fill in where they had worked on said day. This particular "idiot?" had filled in "I forget where I was!" I'm thinking he doesn't fill his time sheet in daily.

the naked truth

Last night we were just closing. My fellow co. worker who cycles to work always decides to change into his lycra shorts in the warehouse was mid trouser change. In came a customer. "ooh I know you're just closing" she said "but do you mind if I quickly find some samples to take away?." Of course I turned the lights back on and helped her to select as per her requirements. As I was serving her we had a little giggle about the "idiot?" cavorting about in his boxer shorts. I wonder why he doesn't change in the toilet like a normal person!

Where do they live?

Unfortunately my fellow co. workers "idiots?" seem to be tarred with the same brush. I am suffering from job sheets coming back to me with addresses scratched out and re-written with what they consider to be the address. I am fed up with saying "I write the address the customer gives me." Surely to god the customer knows where they live. Some days I think it's a conspiracy and they give me the wrong address on purpose to make me look like an "idiot?" on other days I know it's just my fellow co. workers "idiots?" writing what they think the address is which is a whole different ball game.Today husband fellow co. worker "idiot?" handed me a sheet the customer told me he lived in Lydbrook. Husband has changed it to Joys Green!!

Smile please

Today I was discussing with a fellow co. worker "idiot?" my dislike of having my photograph taken. We were considering how to promote our website and one suggestion was photographs of the team. The "idiot?" I was talking to said "I know go to the beauty parlour on way in on the day of the photographs." Well I was dumbfounded I didn't say I was ugly and needed beautifying I just said I don't like having my photograph taken!!

Peddling your wares

Today I was visited by two young ladies peddling their wares. What were they peddling? you may enquire. Advertising space. Does advertising work? I often ask myself this question. Before we moved to the showroom we're in now we advertised much more. The building we worked from was in a busy area but not on the high street. It was in a car park right next to a very busy bank and the back entrance to Woolworths. You would have thought every one would have noticed it. But they didn't. At least one person per day would say "I didn't know you were here." It made me wonder if all the money we spent on advertising did any good. Regardless of my doubts we still advertise. Not as much as then. We now stick to the local free paper and hope that someone will notice our ad. and pop in and purchase.
Any how when the girls arrived I was sat behind my desk alone. As usual I had upset a fellow co. worker "idiot?" it's not difficult to do. This particular "idiot?" had been over to see if we could get a vertical blind altered on the drop. He brought back a sample of the alteration. On one side there was a crease and on the other two lines of stitching.Another "idiot?" suggested steaming the louvre obviously to remove the crease. The first "idiot?" piped up "steaming wont get rid of stitch lines" now I'm not a rocket scientist but I thought this was bloody obvious and I said so. This went down like a lead balloon. He bristled and huffed and stropped off. I had obviously hit a raw nerve when I said he had made "a bloody stupid statement." He went off into the warehouse and ignored me for a while. I then managed to upset him again. A fellow co. worker "idiot?" had made an nice cup of tea. And I innocently said "That was great J** made the only nice cuppa I had yesterday." The upset "idiot?" retorted "Thanks for saying I make shit tea." I didn't say that. The not so good cups I had yesterday included some I made myself. It just wasn't a good tea day. Why? oh why? do my fellow co. wokers "idiots?" take offence to everything I say!!

Bank holiday blues

With all the bank holdays we've had lately the "idiots?" and I are really finding it hard to settle into a routine. Yesterday was a typical Tuesday after Bank holiday kind of day. In we trotted. Some of us were more keen than others. One or two didn't come in at all. One of the non starters is in foreign climes so we knew he wouldn't be in. The other non starter stretched the weekend at the eleventh hour. It was busy from the time we opened the door and we were a little over stretched. Off went an "idiot?" to make the tea. I looked forward to a warming brew to help ease the burdens of the day. What I got was a foul tasting brew made with milk that was two days of date. Off to the supermaket I had to go to purchase fresh supplies. Not a good start to the working week!

Worry

Of course we all worry. It's built into our genes. BUT I wonder about my fellow co. worker "idiot?" who worries about things we can't change. Today we need to drive the small van. We need to make a collection. And go and help another fellow co. worker to get a carpet in. BUT chief fellow co. worker "idiot?" has not left us the keys to the van. They must be in his pocket and he's miles and miles away.So what can we do? Nothing. There's no point in worrying. We can't collect what we should do and if fellow co. worker wants a lift with the carpet he'll have to collect "idiot?" and return him. It's as simple as that! all the worrying in the world wont make the van go without a key.

Just make it clear

This week I needed to send a piece of carpet to be whipped. This is not a mysterious sexual perversion. It means sending a carpet to be sewn down the edges the make either a runner or a rug. In this instance it was a runner for a stairs. This means cutting the piece or pieces from a big cut that will do the rest of the installation. I didn't want anything to go wrong. So I asked my fellow co. worker "idiot?" to make it clear. Start a fresh piece of paper and write the cuts required and draw where it was coming from clearly. What did I get? another piece of paper with loads of scrawl all over it much like the other five pieces of paper I already had. "No" I said for the millionth time. "A clean piece of paper with clear instructions" he replied with a lot of twatter a shrug of the shoulders and went into a right hump. Several if the other "idiots?" were around they got my point but unfortunately he did not!

Serenity

I am not a believer. But today I have prayed "Please god give me the serenity to last until five 0'clock."
Friday I finished early, not that early it was about 1 0'clock and we close at 5.
In I bounced this morning full of the joys. After a most enjoyable weekend away I was feeling happy. My fellow co. worker "idiot?" greeted me quite happily. It didn't last. After 5 minutes he said "Friday was taking the p***." "Oh was it busy?" I enquired. "It was more than busy" was his reply. Unusually for me I bit my tongue. My brain was thinking That's why you've got a job. So I can finish early on a Friday and enjoy my weekends. We carried on regardless. Then I got a phone call from a customer. "I'm very sorry but I thought I better ring you. The man I spoke to on Saturday totally confused me." Later another phone call "did you get a message from Friday re: my fitting date?" Why oh Why can you not leave the "idiots?" alone for five minutes. I'm sure if they tried they could have dealt with all the enquiries quite admirably. But they don't they say "N***i will sort this on Monday for you."

Sixth sense or no sense?

Today I ambled in after a BAD night. Sore throat runny nose and it's Monday. Some how I knew my fellow co. workers "idiots?" wouldn't be any help. As I drove into the carpark there was a fellow co. worker "idiot?" sporting a pair of flip flops and jeans polishing his work shoes. Bad start. 8.30 came and went two fellow co. workers "idiots?" not arrived yet. Bad start. They duly ambled in a bit later. I never said a word but I looked at the clock and it's filed in my head. 9.30 we ran out of milk. Bad start. I went out to purchase supplies. On my return one job couldn't now be done today. Bad start. Do you think I had a sixth sense my fellow co. workers would be of no help today? Or do you think I had no sense because I didn't throw a sicky? You may leave your feed back should you desire.

New office

I decided today to give my blog a make over. I hope you like my new office!

I just can't see it

Today a fellow co. worker "idiot?" came wandering in. "it's no good" he muttered. "My e-mail's not working". I looked at him. Now this "idiot?" is not very technical. So I went to his computer. Pressed the send & receive button. And hey presto the e-mail magically arrived. It beggars belief that this "idiot?" keeps reminding me about his grammar school education implying he's so much cleverer than he is. Because I have shown him so many times how to do this. He goes for weeks on end and doesn't go any where near his computer and then he's surprised that he has ten million e-mails he needs to look at!

Hopes and aspirations

Oh how I dreamed that my fellow co. worker "idiot?" would be my best friend when the sun is shining. I had wonderful visions of starting work late and finishing early to make the most of the nice days.
Yesterday I woke up and the sun was shining. I said to the other half "I feel really tired can I start late?" "NO" was his reply "you can't leave those idiots on there own get up." I am a victim of my own blog. My dreams were shattered. Now an endless summer lies before me. Get up get to work spend the best parts of the day indoors with the "IDIOTS?" it's enough to make you weep!!

Oh well

I guess I can just print what I like here then. No feedback has been posted and no more followers logged. so it's official I do just blog for myself an no one seems to read it. I should be disappointed but I'm not. I will entertain myself just the same as always.
Today we are under pressure. We are two weeks away from our end of year. Plus we are extremely busy. Not a good combination. We are weeding out the men from the "idiots?" and it's becoming obvious the "idiots?" that do and the "idiots?" who think they do if you know what I mean. Today an "idiot?" went off do a measure with huff and puff and shrug of the shoulders. It wasn't very long before he returned. He'd gone without a tape measure!!

feedback

my blog is lacking followers I only have 3. If you follow my blog please let me know. And any comments you would like to leave I would appreciate. Am I just blogging to myself or does any one actually read this???????

Negative energy

My fellow co. worker "idiot?" is back from his holidays. I thought I would be relieved but I'm not. Negative energy is affecting my well being. I'm a very positive person. But those around me seem to be the opposite. So far he has complained "you give me all the jobs you don't like doing." And yes I admit I do but isn't that the idea of employing people? I've done this job alone for years. Why would I do the horrible bits of it and give him the nice tasks? that would be "idiotic" and I'm not one of them.
His negativity is sapping my energy and god knows that's in short supply at the best of times.

Not enough hours in the day

My fellow co. worker "idiot? is always complaining there's not enough hours in the day. "No" I say. "Now you're part time you need to manage your time better and get things done." Today he's been chased by customers because he's been running late. The customer he measured first came into the showroom with her selection. she dropped into the conversation he'd sat down for a while with her husband had a nice cuppa and a very nice lengthy conversation about guitars and music. Well there's never going to be enough time in a day if you spend too much time talking sh** is there?

Too many words!!!

One of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" uses too many words. When challenged about something he hasn't done he bamboozles you with unnecessary words. I have just spoken to a customer who has spoken to this "idiot?" this morning and he wasn't impressed by his unnecessary over word use either. Apparently he told the customer all his woes! I'm feeling embarrassed that this "idiot?" thinks he's fooling us all with his knowledge and troubled lifestyle. When all he's really doing is peeing us all off!!!

Who do you think your are?

Last week a fellow co. worker "idiot?" enquired could we have some more expensive stock carpet as he thought it would sell well. "yes" I replied cheerfully "would you like me to take the money to pay for it out of your wages or would you like to pay for it now?" He looked at me as if I was mad. His plan was that we should take down our good value for money stock. Store it and put the more expensive stock in it's place and see if it would sell. The stock we have is paid for by us and is selling very well. So I had to wonder what is logic was. When I enquired about the payment options I gave him he told me he didn't think it would be a problem as I had money. I soon informed him "I don't have spare money to spend on stock I don't need, in fact if I had spare money would I come to work every day? No I bloody wouldn't I'd stay at home read books paint my nails and generally please myself! am I going on holiday for eighteen days soon? No I'm bloody not so it's obvious to me you have more spare money than me!" He looked at me in his way and said "well you look like you've got money." This made me wonder how do you look like you've got money? I don't drive a new car. I don't wear designer clothes. I'm not dripping in gold and diamonds. I don't live in a mansion. So how the hell do I give the impression I've got money?

Moody mare

Yesterday a fellow co. worker "idiot?" accused me of being sharp. This has not gone down well in my book. I am the least moody member of staff we have. Don't get me wrong I'm not a saint, but rarely am I in a bad mood, and if I am I tend to go around telling everyone "I'm feeling grumpy today" I tell them because it doesn't happen often and I want to warn them.
As far as I was aware I was having a good day. I was as happy as you can be at 8.30 on a Thursday. I came in cleaned the showroom and set about making a round of tea. Apart from standing on my desk and singing "GOOD MORNING GOOD MORNING MAKE TODAY A SUNBLEST DAY" I don't think I could have been any more cheery. The only thing I can think of is I'm starting to show my age and my happy on the inside is not getting to the outside.

My husband and I

Today we are short staffed. My fellow co. worker "idiot?" who works the shop with me is sailing the high seas.It being winter the operative word here is HIGH I would imagine. Anyhow he's not back for eighteen days. My other fellow co. worker "idiot?" who could man the shop with me is on the road all day. So you would think husband fellow co. worker "idiot?" would be here to help out wouldn't you? Well at 9.30 this morning he popped out "I have to go out again at 11.30" he said "but I'll be back in a minute." It's now 1.15 and all I've heard from him is a phone call in which he said "I can't talk now I'll phone you back." That was at least 2 hours ago. Tonight when the shop closes he'll say "what's for tea?" he'll enter the spotless house I cleaned before work this morning, enter the bathroom with a soft fluffy towel I washed and dried. Climb into the lovely bed I made this morning and tell me "HE'S TIRED!!!!"

Here we are again

Great week off in the sunshine and then back to the same old same old. Just because I'm back behind the desk my fellow co. workers "idiots?" seem to think they no longer have to think. "How much is this? how do I do that? Have I done this?" they cry. How on earth do they actually manage when I'm not here to ask I sit and wonder. Yesterday one of the "idiots?" asked if a fellow "idiot?" could ring him when he returned. The "idiot?" was duly asked and for once carried out the request. Out he wandered with the "idiot?" in questions phone in his hand "I can't phone ***** because he's left his phone here." The "idiot?" who requested the phone call was not working alone so the solution was simple phone on differant number, this seemed too difficult for my fellow co. worker to grasp. A short while later he wandered out again "have you seen my scale rule I've looked everywhere." "Have you looked on **** desk" I enquired No he hadn't and there it was. I see myself now as a problem solver, and I see the "idiots?" as the problem!!

Still too early

Both yesterday and today my fellow co. worker "idiot?" with the new start time of 8.30 in the morning has been late. Yesterday he said he had overslept. Today I enquired if he had overslept again or had his wife lost her umbrella? -Avid followers of my blog will understand this, others will think I've lost the plot- He informed me " I don't see the point at starting at 8.30" I shouted!! After I shouted I tried to explain more calmly there was a point to the 8.30 start. The point is at 8.30 we all arrive and start work and that applies to you too. I still don't think he's got it though.

New year New start.

In we came last Tuesday. One fellow co. worker "idiot?" had received a letter to inform him of his new working hours in December ready for January. His new start time came and went. In he ambled at the start time he wanted NOT the start time stated in his letter. Great start thought I. When questioned at first he denied the new start time. I informed him I knew the new start time because I typed the letter. He let slip "I don't see the point in starting that early." "Ah" said I. "So you knew the time you were supposed to start. You just didn't want to." The next day the start time was adhered to. EXCEPT instead of coming in and getting started he gets a cuppa and either sits or stands in my way. As I see it he's trying to go back to a start time he chooses. I'm not going to play the game I'm just going to work around him for as long as it takes for him to get the message. Start 8.30 means start 8.30 not come in at 8.30 get in the way and start work about 9.15!
The real fun started about last Thursday. "Have we got a new holiday calender?" the "idiots?" enquired. This was bad news as soon as it was produced they all started booking weeks off. I was in despair. I informed husband boss "idiot?" that we would never get any time off if we didn't sort it quickly. Today he came up trumps. Holiday booked flights booked apartment in sunny climate with garden sorted.And guess what? I'm going on Monday. I'll show the "idiots?" New year New start I'm coming first for choosing holidays and not last.