Marriage guidance

The decorating of the show room continued in earnest today. This is why I require marriage guidance. Ever since I had a new desk come counter custom made for me I have wanted to put wall paper on the chimney section behind it where we sit. Well yesterday I went and chose the wall paper. This was interesting in itself because boss husband "idiot?" started off telling me I needed eight rolls, then after a re-think he said it was three rolls, so I purchased four rolls to be on the safe side. This afternoon we went down to the show room for what I thought would be a couple of hours to hang the wall paper ready for the rest of the flooring to be laid on Thursday. First drop was pasted and offered up to the wall I was chief holder of wall paper boss husband "idiot?" was brushing down from the top. It was only when he got half way down we noticed the wall paper stopped short of the skirting board by about eighteen inches or so. This was a sign of things to come. We finally got one piece on the wall. The second piece was cut including pattern match. Boss husband "idiot?" said does in reach the skirting? "yes" said I he brushed down from the top. It was about one inch away from the skirting, off to the waste pile went that piece as well. It was only when we tried to hang another piece that we discovered the pattern match was not 26.5cm but was actually 53cm. Off to the waste pile went another piece. After three and a half hours of pasting and arguing we finally got the chimney breast papered. Unfortunately there are two chimney breasts so we will have to do it all again tomorrow!

Complete chaos

The "idiots?" and myself are spending the christmas period re-decorating and re-carpeting our show room. This was supposed to happen last year but some how we didn't get ourselves organised enough to go through with it.This year however we have started already. The Christmas decorations have been taken down and we are disassembling the show room. The plan is as followes we still trade until 12.30 christmas eve hopefully selling lots and lots of roll stock and rugs. Whilst we are doing this the "idiots?" are uplifting the existing show room carpet and doing some prep. work to the floor. On so far unspecified days over the christmas festivities we are going to emulsion the walls gloss the paint work and fit new vinyl walkways and carpet.If there is enough time we are going to wall paper 2 x areas if not we will do this at some unspecified point in January. We will be all decorated and re-carpeted ready to open on January 4th. "we wont get any customers for curtains" says I so they are all in a heap under a desk. Just five minutes ago in comes a customer for curtains you can't win!

This will make you laugh

One of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") was working with another of the ("idots?") last week. At about 8.40 he phoned boss ("idiot?") to say **** was not at work. This is such an unusual event boss ("idiot?") investigated immediatley. Where was the missing "Idiot?" in the kitchen making a cup of tea. Just because his car wasn't in the car park my fellow co. worker ("idot?") had assumed he wasn't at work!!

Window update

My windows are on the path again
and have been twice this week
I think they might be fixed today
But I'm too afraid to speek

My house is full of men of trade
dashing here and there
But not the men who did the job
They drove me to despair!

Bah humbug

Christmas I hate it. It's the busiest time of year at work and me and the "idiots?" are run ragged. We've all got colds and we are fed up with being nice. Normal humorous blogs will follow once Christmas is organised!!

Idiots and mobile phones:

My question is should an "idiot?" be supplied a mobile phone? The answer to my question is NO.
One of my fellow co. workers ("idiot?") is provided with a mobile phone for work but he has selective use of this instrument. During the working week he seems totally unable to switch it on or if he does and you leave him a message he claims to be totally unable to retrieve the said message. But on the weekends he seems to be able to fathom the use of it for two days and then by a Monday NO it's all gone again and you can't get hold of him! I keep telling him I can tell by the monthly bill he uses it on the weekends but he just mutters and wanders off.
During the summer this said individual ("idiot?") was selling his car and of course he put his mobile phone number on the ad. We were in the warehouse working and drinking a cup of tea at he same time and his mobile phone rang. He jumped a mile in the air made his tea fly every where shouting "bloody hell what's that noise?" and all it was, was his mobile phone ringing in his shirt pocket. He was so unfamiliar with it actually ringing it had frightened the life out of him. I laughed so much I nearly cried.

How does a mans brain work?

Yesterday one of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") was expecting a customer to come down and look at some carpet tile samples but he had to go out so he gave them to me to show. "how much a square metre are they?" says I knowing the customer would ask this question. "oh about ten pound + the V.A.T" says my fellow co. worker "what all of them?" "yes." Well I thought that doesn't sound right to me so I asked for the exact costs. One range was £10 per m2 another £12 per m2 and the third was £19 per m2 all plus the V.A.T. so if the customer had liked the third range and I had told hime they were £10 per m2 I would have been way off beam with the cost through no fault of my own. I wonder if my fellow co. worker would have admitted it was his mistake I don't think so!