watering the blue bells

Two of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" had a busy day out and about yesterday. In they came at about four o'clock to do the paperwork. We had a cuppa to ease the brains into gear. Then one of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" came out with the sentence. "When ****n and I had a wee in the lane. Yes you read that right they had both been so desperate they had parked up the van and both got out and had a wee.The good news is Apparently they used different sides of the van. The van with the name of the company all over it! Every phone call today I am waiting for someone to tell me two of the "idiots?" were exposing themselves in a lane in the Forest of Dean somewhere.I don't know why they just didn't ask a customer if the could use their facilities or go into a public loo somewhere. I can only think they thought if they watered the blue bells it would help them flower!

Just this week

This last week has been quite interesting with the "idiots?." The other day one of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" who works in the showroom with me said "..ck I have a problem, I can't wear these shoes any more" so I looked at his shoes and fair enough the top and bottom were a separate item. so he continued to tell me "I have a choice either I can wear white trainers or steel toe capped boots (fairly battered). "OH NO" I replied "white trainers and black trousers you'll look a right wally" (I have a delicate way with words!) "and steel toe capped boots is definite no no". I gave it some thought and decided if it had to be white trainers then a decent pair of jeans and white trainers until pay day would suffice. We came to work the next day and I was expectng my fellow co. worker to be dressed in a more casual fashion than usual but in the way we had agreed.I was surprised to notice him sporting the smart black shoes he had worn to work the first week and declared unwearable because they were uncomfortable. I haven't mentioned it to him but I am wondering what was the point of the debate about his footwear if he wasn't going to wear trainers and jeans after all.

This week started off in the usual Monday way. You know what I mean lots of problems and things to sort. In wandered one of my other fellow co. workers "idiots?" 45 minutes after everyone else. I could tell by the look on his face we were starting the week with an ailment. Not unusual I hear you say as I have blogged about this hypochondriach before. Well yesterday when I went in to his office he was sitting there with his finger all plastered up he was holding it out from his body so we could all see he had a "baddie" after a couple of hours of him wafting the offending finger about so I would ask I enquired about the "baddie" apparently he was cutting a washer because he was too tight to purchas the correct fixings for a tap and the knife slipped and caused the "baddie". I wish I hadn't enquired I should have known better. Because he then proceeded to tell me not only did he have the "baddie" he had burned his arm on the blow torch and he had a headache. Today the "baddie" is still bandaged up but we are focusing on the burn for the attention.

Pointless waste of road tax.

Friday afternoon one of my fellow co. workers "idiots?" went to do a measure and collect the samples from a customer. In she came today to return the samples "OH" says I. "I thought "idiot?" was collecting those on Friday when he did your measure." "Yes" she said "But when he measured he said he didn't have his van so could I return them today." I still can't get my head around the fact he asked the customer to drive three miles to the shop to return the samples because he didn't want to put them in the boot of his merc. Surely it's not rocket science to take the sampling in the car and transfer it to the van? but it was obviously too complicated for him to grasp! and now it's got even more complicated because he has failed to transfer the measure sheet from the car to the van so the poor customer can't even have her job priced. Thank god she did return the samples because who knows when the Merc. will come out of the garage again

No more chocolate

That's it Easter's well and truly over. Back to the day job tomorrow. I would like to say back to the "idiots?" but I'll tell you what they're cleverer than I give them credit for. Why? you may ask yourself. Because they are all on holiday this week except for me "boss idiot? husband" new "idiot?" and the subbies the rest of them will all be enjoying a lie in tomorrow. I feel a bit sorry for them really they're only prolonging the inevitable they have to come back some time so it might as well be tomorrow. I'm sure me "boss husband idiot?" new "idiot?" or shop as I like to call him will manage just fine. The stock take will be finalised and everything set up for our new year. The tea run will be much smaller, the washing up much less. Really I'm selling this to myself this week might just be easier with less "idiots?" to worry about!

Ashes to Ashes

I don't know if any of you watched the new series of Ashes to Ashes that started last night. I did hence the title of today's blog. You see I think I may be like Alex Drake. Not in looks unfortunately but I think I might have some how reverted to the 1980's.
My new fellow co. worker "possible idiot?" is really nice. He's got a great sense of humour and he knows a bit about the job so can relate to customers with just a little bit of guidance from me when required. All good you're thinking. BUT every now and then he reverts to a boy of about thirteen (instead of the thirty five year old he should be) We will be going along nicely and then all of a sudden he will say something I haven't heard since I was in the first year at secondary school. This first happened in the second week he worked with me. I was asking about previous jobs he's had and why he left them. And out he came with "They just didn't give a flying f***" I hadn't heard that expression for at least twenty years. And then another day the boys were have a laugh being a bit rude and out he came with "Giving a bo**r"(fill in the blanks yourself) And then on Thursday M*** had done a site survey for wood and he thought the room was damp. I wrote on the sheet smelled damp. My new fellow co. worker changed it to smelled a dump! Now I don't know what to do he's still on trial so I'm still deciding whether he's the man/boy for the job. In many ways he's invaluable he cuts off the stock helps with deliveries and is willing to help the other "idiots?" in any way he can. Should I phone his mum and check he is thirty five and not thirteen? should I Waite and see if Gene Hunt and the boys turn up in the Quattro? (this will confirm I have reverted to the 1980's) or should I drag him into 2010 kicking and screaming? I think I'll ask the easter bunny.