Marriage guidance

The decorating of the show room continued in earnest today. This is why I require marriage guidance. Ever since I had a new desk come counter custom made for me I have wanted to put wall paper on the chimney section behind it where we sit. Well yesterday I went and chose the wall paper. This was interesting in itself because boss husband "idiot?" started off telling me I needed eight rolls, then after a re-think he said it was three rolls, so I purchased four rolls to be on the safe side. This afternoon we went down to the show room for what I thought would be a couple of hours to hang the wall paper ready for the rest of the flooring to be laid on Thursday. First drop was pasted and offered up to the wall I was chief holder of wall paper boss husband "idiot?" was brushing down from the top. It was only when he got half way down we noticed the wall paper stopped short of the skirting board by about eighteen inches or so. This was a sign of things to come. We finally got one piece on the wall. The second piece was cut including pattern match. Boss husband "idiot?" said does in reach the skirting? "yes" said I he brushed down from the top. It was about one inch away from the skirting, off to the waste pile went that piece as well. It was only when we tried to hang another piece that we discovered the pattern match was not 26.5cm but was actually 53cm. Off to the waste pile went another piece. After three and a half hours of pasting and arguing we finally got the chimney breast papered. Unfortunately there are two chimney breasts so we will have to do it all again tomorrow!

Complete chaos

The "idiots?" and myself are spending the christmas period re-decorating and re-carpeting our show room. This was supposed to happen last year but some how we didn't get ourselves organised enough to go through with it.This year however we have started already. The Christmas decorations have been taken down and we are disassembling the show room. The plan is as followes we still trade until 12.30 christmas eve hopefully selling lots and lots of roll stock and rugs. Whilst we are doing this the "idiots?" are uplifting the existing show room carpet and doing some prep. work to the floor. On so far unspecified days over the christmas festivities we are going to emulsion the walls gloss the paint work and fit new vinyl walkways and carpet.If there is enough time we are going to wall paper 2 x areas if not we will do this at some unspecified point in January. We will be all decorated and re-carpeted ready to open on January 4th. "we wont get any customers for curtains" says I so they are all in a heap under a desk. Just five minutes ago in comes a customer for curtains you can't win!

This will make you laugh

One of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") was working with another of the ("idots?") last week. At about 8.40 he phoned boss ("idiot?") to say **** was not at work. This is such an unusual event boss ("idiot?") investigated immediatley. Where was the missing "Idiot?" in the kitchen making a cup of tea. Just because his car wasn't in the car park my fellow co. worker ("idot?") had assumed he wasn't at work!!

Window update

My windows are on the path again
and have been twice this week
I think they might be fixed today
But I'm too afraid to speek

My house is full of men of trade
dashing here and there
But not the men who did the job
They drove me to despair!

Bah humbug

Christmas I hate it. It's the busiest time of year at work and me and the "idiots?" are run ragged. We've all got colds and we are fed up with being nice. Normal humorous blogs will follow once Christmas is organised!!

Idiots and mobile phones:

My question is should an "idiot?" be supplied a mobile phone? The answer to my question is NO.
One of my fellow co. workers ("idiot?") is provided with a mobile phone for work but he has selective use of this instrument. During the working week he seems totally unable to switch it on or if he does and you leave him a message he claims to be totally unable to retrieve the said message. But on the weekends he seems to be able to fathom the use of it for two days and then by a Monday NO it's all gone again and you can't get hold of him! I keep telling him I can tell by the monthly bill he uses it on the weekends but he just mutters and wanders off.
During the summer this said individual ("idiot?") was selling his car and of course he put his mobile phone number on the ad. We were in the warehouse working and drinking a cup of tea at he same time and his mobile phone rang. He jumped a mile in the air made his tea fly every where shouting "bloody hell what's that noise?" and all it was, was his mobile phone ringing in his shirt pocket. He was so unfamiliar with it actually ringing it had frightened the life out of him. I laughed so much I nearly cried.

How does a mans brain work?

Yesterday one of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") was expecting a customer to come down and look at some carpet tile samples but he had to go out so he gave them to me to show. "how much a square metre are they?" says I knowing the customer would ask this question. "oh about ten pound + the V.A.T" says my fellow co. worker "what all of them?" "yes." Well I thought that doesn't sound right to me so I asked for the exact costs. One range was £10 per m2 another £12 per m2 and the third was £19 per m2 all plus the V.A.T. so if the customer had liked the third range and I had told hime they were £10 per m2 I would have been way off beam with the cost through no fault of my own. I wonder if my fellow co. worker would have admitted it was his mistake I don't think so!

Be sure your sins will find you out

I am a firm believer that if you bide your time and some of your fellow co. worker are "idiots?" they will sin and it will catch up with them.

One of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") thinks he's clever I have told him before I miss nothing and I'm here all the time so I know what's going on. Not long ago he sinned badly on his day off and I warned him then I am no bodies fool if you sin I may not find out straight away but chances are I will find out.

Yesterday morning about 9.00 o'clock the phone went it was a customer who had purchased some vinyl about two weeks ago supply only. My fellow co. worker ("idiot?") it turns out had sold her the vinyl in store asked me a price for fitting and then relayed he would fit it for less on the day he doesn't work. In my eyes this is a sin he swears blind he told me he was going to do this but I know full well he didn't because as now I woud have viewed it as being unprofessional. You don't ask an electrician to do your plumbing and you don't ask an "idiot?" to fit your flooring. Years ago when he fitted flooring he wasn't that good at it and he hasn't fitted now for at least fourteen years so he's not going to be good at it now for sure.


Now I have an unhappy customer phoning me to nag him to sort out her flooring that is obviously not up to standard when it's nothing to do with me. And he's avoiding me because he knows I have sussed him out again. That's the thing with "idiots?" they just don't know when there well off and they have to push the boundaries.

My cloud has burst with no silver lining

My double glazing saga continues. On Monday I thought we were all settled I had yet another meeting with main main man with achey boll***s and he agreed that I could go ahead and use another company to remove and replace his appalling windows.

Yesterday I was cashing up at the end of the day I had locked the door and was just closing everything down when a woman knocked on the window. Being the ever helpful retailer I thought she was a customer so I asked a fellow co. worker ("idiot?") to unlock the door and let her in. In she strode and introduced herself and it was the lady who works for appalling window company. "Oh hello" says I "nice to meet you I wanted to thank you for all your trouble even though it hasn't worked out I appreciate what you've done" "yes" says she and handed my a letter. Me in my naivety thought this contained what we had agreed on Monday. But no did it hell main main man with achey boll***s is not a man of his word and he has changed his mind and wants to come again and try and repair the appalling windows. This he will do over my dead body I have organised for alternative windows to be installed as we agreed and I'll see him in court if I have to.

The only good thing to come from this encounter after 5.00 last night was a telephone call for a repeat order. So during all the fracas I managed to sell some vinyl to a customer long after I should have been at home cooking my tea I was still selling.

Honesty is the best policy

Today we had a visit from one of our least favourite reps. I don't know why but there's nothing you can like about this man.

He came in peddling his wares which we didn't want to buy (we would rather purchase from some one we like don't ask me why) had a cup of tea and then proceeded to tell us about his other job.

Apparently he has just given up his lucrative weekend job as a taxi driver in Bristol. He informed all who would listen that between Friday night and Sunday afternoon he could earn £1000 per weekend. He's obviously full of bull**** because I'm pretty sure he doesn't earn that much being a sales rep. But he continued with his story even when we looked at him sceptically he obviously can't read faces. He proceeded to tell us he made this amount by basically ripping off the drunks. One fare that should have amounted to £7.50 he got £63 for he was given a £20 note and told to keep the change and he said there was 3 stuck together and the rest was change he found on the seat. He also told us that he would ask for £20 for his fare when the drunk gets in the cab and then drive around a bit drop the fare off after he had a little sleep and then ask for £20 again and invariably they would pay him twice. I am now never going to trust this rep ("idiot?") ever again am I so why did he tell me this story?

Every cloud has a silver lining

My usually sunny disposition has a severe dent in it again. In the small window of sunshine that occurred on Sunday I took the opportunity to clean my new windows. I wish I hadn't bothered I discovered 3 more damaged panes and then the heavans opened and I was rained off. My other half went upstairs to bathroom and shouted for me to go up "please tell me I'm ****** dreaming" he said as we watched the water running down the wall from the leaking bathroom window. I am now now waiting for visits to get quotations to replace my replacement windows so I hope there is a cloud out there with a silver lining just for me!

Better frame of mind

I am in a better frame of mind today I have checked the windows and at last after ten agonising days I think I have nice windows. I don't think main main man with achey boll***s has made any profit from my job because I think on Thursday most windows were replaced but so far so good when the rain stops I might clean them but that might be different story.

I was thinking earlier about Thursday and I remembered I had a visit from one of my favourite sales reps. and his boss. In they trotted about 2 o'clock and said they had come for a coffee and a laugh because they have a new big boss who is making their life a misery. A couple of fitters were also having a tea break and this is what transpired.

"How's the golf going?" a fitter enquired who hadn't seen the senior guy for a while. "Great"he replied "do you want to hear a funny story about a game I had last week?" of course all the guys said yes, and I thought oh no I wonder what's coming.

He had played a round of golf last Saturday morning at a very posh golf resort in Newport, with one of his friends and two guys he didn't know. Apparently they played 13 holes and his friend said he felt unwell and was going to be sick so he went down in to the bushes. After a while one of the guys they didn't know wandered off towards the bushes pulled a funny face and returned. they waited for the guy who wasn't well and then played another hole. The other guy who they didn't know hit his ball oddly and it went in to the bushes where the poorly guy had supposedly vomited. It was then he had to confess to all, especially the man who was going to grope about in the bushes for his ball that he had actually been caught short and indulged in an alfresco poo. Of course the guy who had wandered off before knew this because he had seen what was going on in the bushes. It gets better than that because apparently before the 18th hole he had been three more times and on the third time there was no dock leaves so he had used his pants to clean himself up. All I could think to say was "I hope he washed his hands before he had any peanuts!"

Idiots from another world

I seem to be having the month from hell. Everything I touch or come in to contact with either goes pear shaped or breaks hence I have been unable to blog much this week because the internet hub went POP!

I am writing this blog today to inform all readers I have encountered people who are bigger idiots than the ones I work with.

Last week Monday / Tuesday I had replacement windows fitted. I was so excited to be having the old wooden ones replaced because they were a bit scratched and never looked nice when I cleaned them. I went home on Monday looking forward to viewing the world through clear beautiful windows. I was sorely disappointed. The bathroom window was broken and the mastic seal on one window looked like it had been done by a blind man also I had to change my bed cover as it was covered in muck. So Tuesday I didn't leave for work until they had arrived I took the main man around and showed him a few problems he then told me he didn't work at my house the day before but the guy who did was ill "oh" said I "maybe he had a little lie down in my room?" I got no response and off I went to work. Tuesday night I got home and had a little look around at the windows still a few picky problems i.e I opened one and it wouldn't close and a key was broken off in a lock but you can't see much in the dark. Wednesday morning the sun was shining and you could clearly see every pane of glass was scratched! So on the phone we went and arranged a meeting for later that morning with the main main man. "right no that shouldn't have happened we will be here Thursday and change all the glass and that one window because it's not right." Thursday came and home I went with great anticipation of course it was dark so I couldn't see much again I opened and closed the window that wouldn't work and that was about it. Saturday I had to work and didn't get home until the afternoon I was determined to clean my new windows even though it was raining and guess what I opened a differant window and it wouldn't close and another window had a foriegn body in the glass. On to the phone again to the main main man "I can't come I've got achey boll***s but I will send some one tonight to get the window closed. I said "please come yourself and you will have 2 achey boll***S!" Duly at six o'clock around came an operative and whacked my window with a piece of wood "we'll be back Monday" he said. Monday came they arrived and adjusted the windows and phoned me to arrange a meeting for Tuesday to look at the windows. Tuesday came and I arrived to meet them and duly they changed the window with a foriegn body in it "There you go good as new" said they "NO said I" that window is scratched" "It can't be says main main man with achey boll***S I checked it myself" it was scratched! "We'll be back Thursday my love and we will check all these windows and you will be absoloutely delighted" they said "NO I wont" I said "this is the worst experience I have had I want you out of my house and out of my life this is the final chance." Thursday came (yesterday) hubbie opened bathroom window and two locking plates fell off. I left a sharp note for main main man hubbie phoned the office to inform them just in case. I have not really checked the windows out properly today because I can't be bothered I am totally sick of the whole affair. The lady from their office phoned me at lunch time to see if the windows are now acceptable I told her to phone back Monday. At some point I can't remember what point now I asked these idiots why you would fit windows and not check that they opened and closed before you left. The main main man with the achey boll***s told me that instead of opening and closing the windows he had put the vacuam cleaner around to make it nice for me to come home to. Any one contemplating window replacements is welcome to contact me and I will tell you who NOT to use.

Hypochondria update

This morning I had a telephone call from my fellow co. worker ("idot?") who is a hypochondriac it's a Saturday morning so I was wondering why he was phoning me when he doesn't have to work today. He told me he was phoning me to tell me he is very ill and will not be able to go out today. He's been up all night and is feeling really poorly. Any one who knows him is welcome to drop in donations of chocolate and fruit to help with his recovery because I'm pretty sure he's going to milk this one for weeks to come. And I need to eat plenty of chocolate and fruit to keep me going.

Winter blues

We are suffering from the winter blues this week. Some of my fellow co. workers and I have had a bit of cold and sore throat thing this week. One of my fellow co. workers has really suffered quite badly and has struggled in sounding just like Barrie White but never the less he has made it in every day and we have teased and cajoled our way through the days. I have blogged before about one of my fellow co. workers who is a hypochondriac and unfortuantely he thinks he has caught this bug. In he wandered yesterday with a face like a wet weekend in Weston Super Mare and informed us all he had a cold. "well" says I "we have had it all week so you wont be getting any sympathy from us!" for the last two days he has coughed when he remembers and sniffed every time he thinks one of us is listening but I have not heard him seeze once. I wish I had the same bug as him.
My other half and I were just sat chatting over lunch about when people complain. It's not unheard of for a customer to come in several days or weeks after an installation and complain about something and you just know this complaint is not justified, because if it was they would have told you well before this that there was a problem. As we were saying this in came a customer and asked about colours for Altro Marine so off I went and got a sample to show her, as I returned she told me we had installed a floor over three weeks ago (That she has paid for after we have fitted it) and she doesn't think it's the right colour "Gull" so I show her the samples, and yes we have fitted gull just like she ordered. BUT she meant to order shark the sample that was underneath gull. The bit that baffles me is it has taken her over three weeks to check this and she paid for it after it was fitted but didn't queery the colour. Thank god it was her mistake.

First impressions

You never get another chance to make a first impression or that's what I think. Working with my fellow co. workers ("idots?") who are men can some times be a trial. I will often have to comment that they are not dressed appropriately to be in the show room. Some times things go wrong and instead of going to site they stay and do things around here, work on plans or re-stock the rolls but often if it's busy they end up serving customers and I am some times very embarrassed that they are not dressed appropriateley. Yesterday for one of my fellow co. workers ("idiot?") it was the opposite way around he came in dressed reasonably enough but had to go out to do a site measure he was almost there when he got a telephone call "I hope you have brought your wellies" which of course he hadn't. So apparently when he left site he was covered in mud and had to go home and change. When he returned to the show room he was wearing beige trousers brown shoes dark grey shirt and black jacket which didn't match at all. "what have you got on?" I said "you match at the top you match at the bottom but the bottom and the top don't match" He then went on to tell me how muddy he had got and that he had to go home and change also he would be in big trouble when he gets home because he walked mud all through the house (why he didn't take his shoes off before he went in is beyond me) "well" says I "why couldn't you change your shirt as well as your trousers and shoes?" because not only did the grey not go with the beige / brown ensemble it was covered in toothpaste as well. He told me what he was wearing was all right! and I'm guessing any one he made contact with for the first time he gave the impression that he got dressed in the dark

Smooth operator!!!!

Yesterday at the end of the day some of my fellow co. workers returned after a hard day. Some of them were laughing about the days events so I enquired what had occured. They were at a site where they were rubbing down the floors, we have a machine that does this and one fellow co. worker ("idiot?") was using this whilst the other two did something else. When you've done a job for a long time you know the sounds that your tools make when they do certain things and whilst he was busying himself one of my fellow co. workers thought that whizzy machine is not making the right noise. Has the pad come off? no I don't think so it's screwed on. So he shouted "**** what you doing?" "rubbing the floor down" he replied "what floor?" "I'm in the toilet doing that floor now" "we haven't latexed that floor get out" and when my fellow co. worker went to investigate he had been rubbing down the exisitng vinyl. When my fellow co. worker enquired how he could be so stupid he replied "The vinyls the same colour as our latex!"

Totally oblivious

today a fellow co. worker ("idiot?") phoned and asked me to find him a quotation out of the kalamazoo file. This file is situated on a desk next to the desk of another fellow co. worker. "Give me a minute I said and I'll run and have a look for you." In the office my other fellow co. worker ("prize idiot?") was sat at the desk talking on the phone as usual. To get the Kalamazoo I had to reach over him and around him. Did he move an inch? NO he sat rocking in his leather executive chair just like I didn't exist. I didn't find what I was looking for and left. After a short while my fellow co. worker finished boring who ever was on the end of the phone and came out in to the show room. "Do you not think it would have been polite to move out of my way?" I enquired "Oh I didn't see you" he replied. How can you not see a reasonably tall slightly over weight female dressed in a shocking pink blouse because it's pink friday reaching over you? I tell you some of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") are just totally oblivious to anything that goes on around them.

You may as well just do it yourself

As well as me and the other half we have ten other fellow co. workers ("idots?") not all of these work every day not all of these really work any day. For a few weeks now I have noticed that if you really want things done properly (or what I think is properly) you may as well do it yourself. By the time you have asked someone to do it showed them how to do it and put it right when they haven't done it properly you could have saved all that time and energy by just doing it yourself in the first place.
Today I asked a fellow co. worker to price up a job, he went away did the maths and then brought it back to me "You ring her and tell her the price and tell her I need to check the floor" why couldn't he do any of those things himself? I had a good laugh yesterday that proves this point. One of my fellow co. workers came back and asked me if I had noticed him stop up the road when he left in the morning. I told him I hadn't he then proceeded to tell me his fellow co. worker had put some tools in to the back of the van after they had loaded a 5.00 m cut. With 5.00 m the doors don't shut properly on the back of the van, all the boys know this and load accordingly. This co. worker didn't make an allowance and when they went up the road the tools fell out of the back of the van right in front of a competitors van. Did the fellow co. worker who loaded the tools feel silly? I would think so!

Ever been had?

Today one of my fellow co. workers was expecting a parcel to be delivered. I was told if it came when he wasn't here I was to check the package thoroughly before signing for it as it had come from America. At lunch time we were sat eating our lunch at chatting over a cuppa when the delivery arrived. With great anticipation he stood up and took the parcel from the driver. "That will be £224.02 please sir" said the delivery driver. "What?" my fellow. co. worker exclaimed "£224.02 please sir, that's for import duty and handling, how would you like to pay that sir?" my fellow co. workers face was a picture and his bargain e-bay purchase was not such a bargain after all.

why would you do that?

Yesterday for some unknown reason was busy from the time we opened the door. One of those full on days that just flies by. I had organised measures for most of the morning for my fellow co. worker ("idiot?") and these were all timed to perfection. At one point in the morning he came back to the show room to pick up more sampling to show a customer, he noticed I was flat out made me cup of tea and then disappeared again this was about 11.30 at 1.30 my other fellow co. workers ("idiots?") came back for lunch and enquired where he was. I hadn't noticed what time it was but couldn't think what could be taking him so long. Not long after this in he puffed grabbed his sandwitches and sat down. "what took so long?" we all enquired "she made me measure her guttering" was his reply. I couldn't understand this as we don't sell guttering, but he informed me it would have been rude not to do this for her. I have been told that today the customer has contacted the shop to say she will not be purchasing the flooring, I wonder if she will have new guttering instead!

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones!!

One of my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") is always complaining when other co. workers have days off. He was having a really good moan the other day and I casually told him that he was one of the worst offenders and that "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" he just looked at me quizically as if he was the best most reliable worker in the whole place, when he just so isn't! he has the most sick days and is always cutting his days short because of one drama or another. He phoned in yesterday on his day off to tell me he couldn't work today because he was having double glazing fitted. Now I know he has had most of it done because he has had it done in phases, and I also know I am having all my windows replaced over the next week or so, so I have a plan of action about moving furniture and taking down curtains etc. none of my plans involve having any time off work. So I told him "I'm having replacement windows and managing to come to work and do my job, so your asking the wrong person if it's acceptable!" He told me it's all right for me but he has more stuff to move. How on earth can you deal with people who always think things are so much harder for them than they are for you. This same fellow co. worker used to be my boss and when he was my boss I just had to put up with him. One day a long time ago he came in to work and told me he was going home at 3.30 "Oh why's that then?" I asked "my wifes going out tonight and I have to cook my own tea" he replied. I remember getting the right hump and telling him I have to cook my own tea every day and I don't go home at 3.30. I think the moral of this blog is there are people that do and people that think they do.

Why do I bother?

I fretted all last week because I didnt give a subie co. worker ("idot?") any work. He's a temperamental bas***d and I just didn't feel I could deal with him, so the nice subies got the work. But I felt so guilty I decided I would phone him for work this week. Why did I bother? I don't just assume he's sat at home waiting for me to phone him so I asked him this morning if it was O.K for me to book the week all he did was grunt at me "so long as the monies right" this guy has worked here for years but boy oh boy I just don't see how much longer I can put up with his moods. He obviously thinks he's hard done by when really he isn't. I should just not feel guilty any more tell him you reap what you sowe and give the work to the nice guys.

Is it me?

I've not got that Friday feeling today at all. As usual I have spent time looking for lost paper work for a job that is happening tonight. I didn't find what I was looking for which was an e-mailed copy of our quotation but I did find the originals that had been lost for a while. It wasn't difficult it was in the Kalamazoo file under P for post office, quite simple really just like the person who keeps losing paper work!! Any way I was looking for the paperwork to telephone the customer to confirm the lads could work tonight, I had told the appropriate fellow co. worker ("idiot?") two days ago I had spoken to the customer and all was well, but he had forgotton to tell the lads who of course by now had made plans for the weekend that didn't include working for most of it. During all the commotion a friend of a fellow co. worker kept phoning me with requests for shopping from the super market for my fellow co. worker ("idiot?") to pick up for him including black bags and pork pies!! and the mobile was ringing about health and safety issues on a site we are working at. According to the site manager the lads need to work in full kit this includes high vis. vests steel toe cap boots and hard hats. According to one fellow co. worker ("idiot?") this is detremental to his health. After many 'phone calls it's decided if the site manager says wear it all then that's what they will have to do and moan about it as they go. I really don't think today is going to be a good day.

How sad am I ?

NO please don't answer this it's a rhetorical question. This is turning out to be one weird week, it's really really quiet even the phone isn't ringing that much ( it seems to be ringing mostly when I'm in the loo and obviously can't answer it I'm sure it knows when I go in there!) so this is where the sad bit comes in. I've got a delivery man who seems to be my best friend. Most days he delivers to us he comes dashing in shouting "R***** in the house" he doesn't care if we have customers or not or if we are the phone he just comes in shouting, then he sits on the chair in front of the desk and waites for his coffee (with or without biscuits or cake depending if we have any) he then carries on random conversations with any customers until his taco. break is over and usually I dread him coming. But today I will be glad of the company.

Another day another dollar

It's official I hate Mondays more than anything else in the whole world. I have started so many things today and completed not much at all. One of my fellow co. workers ("IDOTS?") is on Holiday again today this fellow co. worker has been away every other week for the last month. They have visited France Cornwall and now Turkey. I wouldn't mind but they only work 34 hours per month as opposed to my minimum 43.5 hour week. I suppose I'm just jealous. The missing coleague shouldn't have been a problem because I booked cover for the hours they should have worked, but that's gone tits up because the stand in hasn't turned up either. I was going to phone the stand in fellow co. worker "idiot?" but decided what's the point I might as well just carry on. I have had some good news today an e-mail was in my inbox from lottery H.Q I never check until a Monday morning because it would be soooo good to be able pick your things up and head back out of the door and leave all the IDIOTS to a Monday morning. But unfortunately I only won £10 I think I will re-invest this in Lucky dips next Saturday and try and win my way out of here.

That makes no sense

Friday I popped out to get the salmon and cucumber sandwitch I had been craving for three days (and yes it was delicious) and a customer came in and paid a fellow co. worker by cheque whilst I was out. On my return my fellow co. worker "idiot?" queeried the cheque with me. They said "The document number is right, the amount is right, but the name on the cheque is not the customers" I can think of many reasons why this could be so. But this was obvious it was a counter cheque from the building society. what can you do when you work with IDIOTS!! to add insult to injury this particular fellow co. worker always reminds me they used to work in a bank.

The sandwitch saga continues

"Don't worry" my fellow co. worker ("idiot?") other half said "I will get you a salmon and cucumber sandwitch tomorrow." So up I get today anticipating him buying me the lunch I wanted yesterday. BUT oh NO on the work top was an home made jobbie he had made me before he left this morning. Now I have a dilemma first thing in the morning do I upset him and buy myself what I want or do I eat what he has kindly made me? I think of the credit crunch and pick up my home made offering and out the door I travel. When I got to work he asked me "did you see the sandwitches I made for myself I left them in a bag?" I hadn't seen them and assured him they were not there and thought no more. Later today he came back with sandwitches he had been back home to look for the originals, but of course they were no where to be seen so he had made some more. We sat down to eat and he went all thoughtful "I know I put them in carrier and then I put the bins out I must have thrown them away." You make your mind up but I'm sure he's and IDIOT.

A little of what you fancy does you good

I am sorry to inform you but I have been ill, proper ill I think I have had every germ known to man kind in the space of one week. Unfortunatley this meant I had to abandon my fellow co. workers ("idiots?") on Monday and leave them to it. Did I spend my impromtue day off enjoying a leisurely day watching T.V and reading? NO I felt really guilty because I should have done some things on Friday that I didn't do because I didn't feel well and thought I would do them Monday instead! So Tuesday I put on the war paint and in I struggled.

Today is Wednesday and one of my fellow co. workers was going to the supermarket to get a sandwitch "oh" I said "will you get me one? I really fancy a salmon and cucumber sandwitch" oh yes that would be fine so I paid over my money and off he went. On his return he put the bag down without a word and it was a while before I could get to it, with great anticipation I pulled out my offering (remember I really fancy a salmon and cucumber sandwitch) it was chicken salad!!! I can tell you the disappointment is overwhelming I don't want a chicken salad sandwitch I have been ill the only thing I want is a salmon and cucumber sandwitch all my fellow co. worker said was "they didn't have any" I'm sure they did he just couldn't be bothered to look any more and I have bought a sandwitch I can't eat!!!

De ja vous

Today has felt like a repeat of many days I have spent with the ("idiots?") "have you seen the paper work for........" and of course the answer from all was NO! my fellow co. worker ("idot?") shuffled a few bits of paper about "no no it's not here it must be in the van of fellow co. worker who is not working today" so I thinks I bet the piece of paper is right in front of his nose and I bet him £500 it was in the office "NO it is not I have not seen it I would know if I had" guess what there it was right under his nose. I have told him I will settle for £450 instead of the £500.

You don't look very brown

"Ooh did you enjoy your holiday? your not very brown" I have heard that once too often this week. I do not have a sun tan I will never have a sun tan. I wear factor 30 sunscreen whilst I am on holiday and replenish it every 5 minutes if I don't I would look like a lobster and that's not a good look so any one who knows me you now don't need to comment!





Now back to the "idiots?"


yesterday started really well (not) I had organised with one of the " idiots?" to cut 2 x doors at 9.30 off he went in his van all loaded to site without a thought for the doors. Luckily another fellow co. worker ("idiot?") stepped in to the breach and the customer is none the wiser. When asked later in the day "did you forget something this morning?" he still didn't twig. I really feel some days I'm fighting a losing battle.

Today has started no better, after leaving very early to pick up some material that was delivered the wrong colour my fellow co. worker "idiot?" other half has been sitting in traffic at Bristol for over an hour. Somehow he thinks if he phones me to tell me I can make the traffic move faster! I am writing this at 10.30 and so far I have dealt with the traffic situation, an irate fellow co. worker who thinks I can make the fitters move faster, an irate customer because a fellow co. worker made a mistake on planning her insallation so we will have to replace her lounge (obviously at no cost to them and considerable cost to us) an irate customer who does not want pay the invoice I sent them for uplift and disposal of their carpet (we have agreed after much shouting on their behalf yesterday to meet half way) and an injured fellow co. worker( "idiot?") because the handle fell off the unit roller shutter door and hit him on the nose. I am seriously considering booking another holiday to get over my first week back.

I didn't know they cared

Well I'm back from my hunt for the sun, and I can't think of anywhere I would rather be. I actually started back to work on Saturday morning which before I went seemed like a good idea, but when the crunch came I didn't want to get out of my bed on Saturday and I certainly did not want to be behind this desk. Never the less I made it to work nearly on time, we open at 8.30 and I suppose it was about 8.40 when I rolled in to the car park (of course I needed to peg out the washing first, and I didn't want my breakfast at my desk) I looked to my left as I parked up and there was one of my fellow co. workers parking up beside me, Ah I thought he must of missed me, in I came and went through the setting up procedure 1. kettle on 2. check I have brushed my hair 3. turn on the radio etc. etc. until I get to open door and put out the open sign, out I struggle (the bloody thing weighs a tone) and what do I see? another fellow co. worker driving down the road. Now this is not right, this particular fellow co. worker can't get to work on the days he's supposed to work let alone on a Saturday when he doesn't. Bear in mind now the kettle is on but I have not yet had a cup of tea to get me remotely in the mood for anything resembling work. I make tea for four instead of the two I had catered for, and then the fellow co. workers (idots?) off load the weeks happenings, they didn't seem capable of holding on to any of the information until Monday it all just had to be off loaded from their head into mine and the hubby's and then they buggered off! I'm so glad to be back, I need to go home and book another holiday in the sun.

How much?

My fellow co. worker ("idiot?") went to the satationers to purchase the replacement cartridge for the printer/photocopier of course he phoned for the serial numbers when he got there -he couldn't possiby have taken the serial numbers before he went!- and we painfully went through the conversation "what's the serial number?" so I told him "no no that can't be right they haven't got that" off I go and check again of course it was the right number so I repeat it. "No no they haven't got one" he says so I repeat it again and I here "HOW MUCH do you know how much a replacement cartridge is? I'm not paying that!" so I inform my fellow co. worker he will purchase the replacement cartridge for the extortionate price as his penance for letting it run out without us having a spare. On his return from his shopping he checked out the interweb where a replacement catridge was 1/3rd of the price he had to pay I told him to order two but I don't think he has so I will just wate and see what happens when this one runs out.

This will be my last blog for at least a week because I am off to find the sun, I know you will miss me and my fellow co. workers but rest assured whilst I am away they will be running wild creating plenty of blog material! Bye for nowxx

Just too organised

Today I've been just too organised. I'm off to try and find the sun on Friday so I thought I would get everything typed up and invoiced today for when I'm away. Have I succeeded NO I have been thwarted by the bloody printer/photocopier. It will do no more until it has had it's toner cartridge replaced "oh" said my fellow co. worker (idiot?) we haven't got a replacement I used the spare a while ago. Why oh why when he replaced it did he not order another one? now instead of a easy few days before I go away it will be a mad scramble to photo copy and print the invoices and work sheets. Why is my life never straightforward!

Is there a man about?

I am asked this question at least once a day "is there a man about?" I want to say "no but if there was he would probably be an idiot and absolutely no good to you so can I help?" but I don't. When I first started in this trade it was definately a mans world, but I was hoping that things had moved on a bit, but they haven't. Last week my other half and I were working in the shop and in came a mans man. This is the type of man that thinks a woman is just for decoration and cooking his tea so it was obvious to him I wouldn't be able to help him, so he walked past me and started to talk to the other half. Now if he had bothered to stop and talk to me I could have told him if you want your flooring fitted he's your man, because I can't even lift the tool box. But if you want help with your selection and how much it's going to cost etc. he 'aint got a clue. Any how I finally convinced this nice chap that he really wanted me to serve him and off we went to discuss his requirements. As usual he wanted to purchase the best product available but didn't want to spend any money, and flooring really isn't rocket science the more money you spend the better the product you get. So being a frugal man he decided our stock vinlyl was what he wanted to purchase. "o.k Love" he said "I'll come back when ...... one of my fellow co. workers ("idiot?") is here because he'll give me a good price! Delivery men are the same "hello love are there any boys about?" "NO" "oh well I can't get this off by my self where's your fork lift?" "we haven't got any boys, we haven't got a forklift SO JUST GET IT OFF!) and nine times out of ten they do.

Milk in first or after?

Today some of my fellow co. workers ("idots?") and I, have been discussing the humble cup of tea. I prefer my milk in first not too much not too little and don't take my tea bag out with a sugary spoon or a spoon that has been in coffee because I can taste it. I'm not difficult to please honestly! But the humble cup of tea is very important to me, and I am not above saying "I can't drink that it's vile" and wandering off to tip it down the sink and make my own. This makes me ponder how when we use the same water milk and tea bags can some of us make tea and others not. My fellow co. worker ("idiot?") who is on holiday at the moment made me a cup of tea the other day, before I continue I should comment that this is a very rare occurance, and I am not kidding you it was not fit for human consumption. How did he do that? I made every other cup of tea that day and they were fine, but his offering was dark bitter and vile. My fellow co. workers ("idiots?") always say to me you make nice tea, you go and make it, I'm sure the only reason my tea is so nice is because I make gallons of it. My washing up must be the best as well because they always leave that for me as well.

Please don't roll your eyes at me

Today we have been short of ("idiot?") fellow co. workers as four of them are on a day off. But I have had my share of ( "idiot?") customers. Obviously even the "idiots" have their role within the company that keep the cogs turning, and when they are not here the rest of us ("idiots?") have to try and cover their work. I have just served a customer who wanted to buy 6 carpet tiles (massive order -NOT-) and I informed them I would have to phone them with the price when I can check how much they are, but they come in packs of 2o. I understand they only want six so I said "tell you what I will find out the cost of the tiles you looked at and then get someone to check in the store to see if anything there will do the job and you wont have buy more than you need" did they say "THANK YOU that would be really helpful" NO THEY DID NOT. He rolled his eyes and said "How much are these" I remained calm and repeated "I will phone you with the price of the tiles and see if we have any in stock that might do the job and you can buy 6 instead of 20" How many shops can you go in that will try to sell you what you want rather than trying to sell you more than twice the amount you need? I really wish I hadn't bothered, because I'm damn sure if I had known the price of the tiles off the top of my head he would have just gone ahead an bought the twenty.

Special people

This week has been a short week and a really odd week.


It seems to have been a week where I have encountered "special people" you know "special people" too I am sure. They are the people who think they can pick and choose. My fellow co. worker ("idot?") that wanted to hide in the office today was out of luck, because today was a manic day. But not only is he an "idot?" his is also a "special" person. This morning he was in the office with someone when another person phoned to discuss a problem, but being a "special" person he chose not to speak to them. Now me being not a "special" person had to deal with them and their problem and the other one hundred and fifty things I was trying to do all at the same time. My fellow co. worker "idiot? special" person got such an ear full when I had a chance, and all he did was shrug his shoulders and say "I couldn't speak to them I was doing something" one thing he was doing one thing, oh I wish I was "special."

Some of my fellow co. workers "idots?" were also asked yesterday if they could do a couple of jobs that were out of the ordinary, one is to fit some carpet tiles in the hockey goals at the leisure centre and another was a couple of evenings at a local factory instead of a Saturday, they are apparently also "special" people because they can pick and choose and they chose to decline. The carpet tiles and factory job will get done, probably by my fellow co. worker who I am married to (THE BOSS!) I have definately had a week where some of my fellow co. workers ("idots?" or "special people") have made me question if you are doing all the out of hours and horrible unusual things yourself why do you worry about keeping them in a job?
May be next week me and the "boss" will be special for a change and let's see how they get on!

I'm Back

I came back to help the "idots?" out yesterday, but it was all a bit up in the air so I didn't get time to blog. I was a bit of an "idiot?" myself actually, and seen as I always dwell on my fellow co. workers failings in the interests of fairness I should also mention my own when they occur. This is not an excuse but an observation. One of my fellow co. workers ("idiot?") who does the measures always writes in pencil, and I have mentioned to him before that I have great difficulty in reading his writing it's not the clearest writing in the world, and because it's in pencil it all just merges, and yesterday it transpired for the second time I have mis-read 4.00 instead of 4.40 and you don't need a degree in carpet retail to work out that 4.00 is not going to fit when the room is 4.40 long, unlike my fellow co. worker who would have tried to bluff his way out of this situation I find it much easier just to own up to the unhappy customer and tell them it's my fault, and then order a new one a bit quick and get it all sorted out. I am just a bit concerned that I might be turning into an "idiot?" permanantly and I would welcome any reassurance you can give me.

My fellow co. worker ("idiot?) that is causing me to mis-read things is going on Holiday on Saturday (It might be a slow blogging week but the rest will do me good) I wish I could tell you he was going somewhere exotic but his idea of a good holiday is Butlins at Minehead although this time he's branching out and hiring a caravan in Devon. This morning he told me that although he is at work tomorrow he will not be available for enquirees or measures. Now I am wondering who is an "idiot" me or him, because when I am going away I have to work twice as hard before I go and ten times as hard when I get back. I am undecided how tomorrow will go, I some how think he will not get away with hiding in the office.

What me doing?

I have mentioned in my blogs before my two year old great nephew, who when he is engrossed in a task often questions "what me doing?" this is just so cute and endearing. It is not cute or endearing when a sixty three year old fellow co. worker (idiot?) asks you this a million times per day, as my fellow co. worker does. Whilst he asks this question he manages to contort his face in to the most hideous expression that completely axasperates me. I am going away this weekend (as it is the only bank holiday weekend this year I have not worked) and I am not returning to work until wednesday. This seems to have affected this fellow co. worker (idot?) very badly. He has to attend a meeting on Tuesday for the test on health and safety previously blogged about, I have arranged cover for me from 8.30 - 5.00 so that's not a problem, but I must have reminded him at least twenty times over the last few days that he needs to be at the venue thirty minutes before his appointment time and his appointment is at 9.30. I just know when I come in on Wednesday he will have forgotton and by then it will be too late.

Today the grumpy subie fitter is a happy subie fitter, some how between the hours of 8.30 and 2.30 yesterday his mood changed completely in to the "chirpie chapie" he was this morning this will be lovely whilst it lasts but I don't know how long this will be.

No updates on the "idiots" available until next Wednesday at the earliest as I am off to recharge my chuckle muscles.

Nothings changed

It's Thursday and grumpy subie fitter is back in today, and I got wet and argued on Monday for NOTHING all he did today was read his paperwork and then he started moaning. He hasn't even loaded the van or knocked on a door and he's sure the furniture will still be in the room. I talked to the particular customer he was moaning about and even googled the weather for her to encourage her it would be "dryish" so she could put her furniture outside. What more could I have done?


For some unknown reason this week has been really hard going, I spoke to a fellow co. worker today about a Hall Stairs and Landing we fitted on Monday that he had planned, that didn't fit. I told him he had measured 3.60 but planned it at 3.30 (that's linear metres) "oh" was his reply "That plan drew out really well" IT MAY HAVE DRAWN OUT WELL BUT IT DIDN'T FIT.Where's the logic in that? The same fellow co. worker (idiot?) has wandered around all day today telling me he just can't get his head around his work, it's just too much for him, he has to think about too many things at once. This fellow co. worker (idiot?) always winds me right up bigging himself up, telling any one who will listen how clever he is, and what an important job he has. I whish he would make up his mind, because if he was half as clever as he says he is, then it should be no problem. This same fellow co. worker (idiot?) always takes great pride in telling anyone who will listen about his grammar school education, he doesn't tell any of them he didn't take or pass one single exam. When I first started working with this fellow co. worker (idiot?) he still went out occasionally and did a bit of manual work. And on one occasion an installation required a bit of plumbing work "no problem" says he "I used to do plumbing I was really good at it," and so he began. When he came to put two pieces of pipe together they did not fit, did he confess he had made an error and cut the pipe short NO he told two grown men working with him "The pipe has shrunk" we still laugh at his bull***t and he still thinks he's good at plumbing.

You just can't win!

Here we are and it's Monday again. And I've decided you will never win an arguement with an "idiot," it just does your head in, it's not like argueing with a normal person.

The grumpy sod subie fitter was still not speaking to me this morning, and I thought to myself I just can't do this any more, so out I went in to the summer sunshine (it was pouring down with rain) to our car park to have a word with him. "oi" says I "how can we possibley work together if you wont speak to me?" He then told me he was too busy to speak to me, and he didn't want to speak to anyone here because he was getting a rawe deal. He was getting all the horrible work, I don't pay him enough, and he thinks he might leave anyway! At the health and safety meeting on Friday he was picked on and it was all so unfair. The miserable sod just can't see over the eight or nine years he has worked here, he has been spoiled to death. After a few raised voices and gesticulations I told him to come to work Thursday / Friday this week and if he doesn't speak to me that's it, in the words of my two year old great nephew "ME CAN DO THIS NO MORE, ME CAN GO NO FURTHER." That two year old boy talks more sense than my fifty two year old fellow co. worker.

As for my fellow co. worker who is a serial mourner, he has informed me he has another funeral he must go to this week, so that's another arguement I can't win, he will just keep finding funerals to go to, so I might as well give up!

Thinking of the idiots on a Sunday!

I've just been on face book, and a couple of people are nagging me for an update on the "idiots" well today's Sunday and I don't usually have to think much about the "idiots" on a Sunday. But then I got to thinking, so I thought I would dash out a quick blog.
This is an update of another occurrence from Thursday /Friday.
On Thursday one of my fellow co. workers who is a serial mourner told me he thought he should go to a funeral on Friday "no" says I, I am finishing early and I need you to be here because two idiots can be better than one on a Friday afternoon, and he had a "couple of hours off" last Friday that turned out to be over half the day! I in my innocence thought he had taken this on board and it was agreed. So on Friday morning when he walked in wearing a black tie, I thought I've got trouble here he obviously thinks he's off for his free lunch at the wake. Now I know this sounds callous, but it must be the only reason why he thinks he needs to go to all these funerals of people he knew many, many years ago but has not had any contact with since then. "what time you leaving?" he asked me "oh some time between 12 & 1" I reply knowing full well the funeral is at 1 o'clock, and so it went on, him not actually saying I'm going to the funeral, and me knowing I was going to leave when it was too late for him to go anyway. You have to be clever when you work with "idiots." Many years ago unbeknown to me this particular co. worker ("idiot") was married to my dads cousin, but he has been estranged from this family for at least 24 years now, two years ago my dads brother died, and obviously I went to my uncles funeral. The "idiot" decided he should go too. I went early as I thought respectful and was sitting with my parents in the "family" part of the proceedings. The place was really full and all the seats were taken but there was some standing room available. In came the "idiot" he shuffled his way through all the standing people to the row where we were sitting and started to make his way towards ME, he thought after all this time he would be made welcome by the family. After it was all over my parents and I made our way home. The "idiot" went for his free sandwitch!

HEALTH & SAFETY REALLY MADE THEM MAD!

Well as previous post, this weeks been all about Health & Safety. We had a consultant come to the office to give us advice and put all the correct procedures in place should they ever be required.

Some of his advice requires that the sub-contractors we use need to do a risk assessment so we can keep it on file, WELL you would think I had asked them to donate a kidney so I could keep it on file not a simple document of the things they do every day!

I phoned them all to tell them what I needed, and I could tell from the luke warm response that this did not go down too well, and I waited to see what the next morning would bring.
One of the subies is a moody sod who doesn't usually speak to the others, well in this instance he made a special effort, and they were an armed force to attack me over the usual morning cuppa. I raised my hands in defeat (not like me at all) but it was 8.30 on a Thursday morning, and off I went to get reinforcements in the shape of the M.D and the other 6'4" tall director should his muscle power be required, and so they squabbled for the next twenty minutes or so, just like school boys, they were raising stupid points: "you must phone the customers two hours before we are due to inform them not to smoke because we will be in their house fitting flooring" have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? and so on and on in went. By 9 0'clock I had, had enough. So informed subies "it's like this: These things are being put in place for your benefit. They are being put in place, and you either do the risk assessment or you don't. NO risk assessment NO WORK." The Moody subie is giving it his consideration, and once again not speaking to me.

Whilst looking around for all the risks we have decided we should have a mass clear up and tidy. One of my fellow co. workers (idot?) has is own office with an extensive library of sampling, this is very over crowded so he decided after a while it should be tidied out.
And so it went:
BANG, CRASH, TUMBLE, SWEAR.
And then I went to do some photo copying, could you get in through the door? NO he had thrown it all off the shelves and on to the floor.
"Oh" says I "would it not have been better to get a trolley and fill it up so you could push it all out to the skip? his reply was he didn't know we had a trolley.
We have had the trolley for at least two years and it is usually right in your eye line in the delivery unit. Off he went and the trolley was duly filled. The alternative should he not have done this was probably at least twenty to thirty journey's to the skip with as many folder as he could carry in his arms. You decide is this fellow co. worker an idiot?

Health and safety

The same as the rest of the world our business is bogged down with health and safety issues. Our boys that work on sites as opposed to domestic situations have to carry a card that states they are qualified to be there and have trained in health and safety issues.
Here are some questions from the training manual:

You must wear head protectoin on site at all times unless you are:
A self emloyed
B working alone
C in a safe area like the office
D working in hot weather

It is safe to work close to an overhead powerline if:
A you do not touch the powerline for more than 30 seconds
B you use a wooden ladder
C the power is switched off
D it is not raining

I don't know how my fellow co. workers (idiots?) will fare with these questions but I know I would select different answers for different co. workers that should eliminate a few of them.

I can't think of anywhere I would rather be

here I am again it's my Saturday to work.

I did have my breakfast before I got here so the day started quite well. In fact I had my breakfast loaded the washing machine and tumble dryer and got a head start on the day.

At 8.30 the first customer followed me in, GREAT nice order to start the day what more could I want? well I would really like to know which bed room is which, the customer is lucky enough to have a new house that has just been built with four bedrooms, 3 on the back and 1 on the front she tells me. The fellow co worker (idiot?) who measured has written 2 x beds at front of house 2 x beds at rear. Now he will have to go back to the property and ascertain what is what because the customer has ordered different colours for different rooms. WHY DO IDIOTS SPEND SO MUCH TIME DOING EVERYTHING TWICE?

I'm just popping out for a bag of sand!

As I write this blog my fellow co. worker (idot?) who annoys me the most is missing, 25 minutes ago he popped out for a bag of sand I think he must have "popped" to Saudi Arabia to get it.
Now he's back he wants more time off from work, apparently you can only buy bricks on weekdays before 3.45 does that sound right to you? it doesn't to me I'm damn sure you can buy bricks on a Saturday.
Why do some people keep finding excuses not to work? with this particular fellow co. worker (idiot?) it seems to me that he wants work to fit around him, he's always "popping out" or home for this or that I don't think there's a good days work in him.

What am I doing today?

If I answered that question once yesterday I must have answered it at least twenty times. And then at 3.30 I thought "oh my god where is he?" he's supposed to be at an appointment at 3.45 and I have all the paperwork. so I ring his phone, now I know I'm wasting my time, because he is the only person I know who thinks a mobile phone has to stay in one place and that's the van! Of course he didn't answer it, so I phone the fella he has gone to see, and for some reason he thinks it's funny to wind me up and say he's not there. After a bit I finally get to speak to my fellow co. worker (idiot?) and he says "oh I forgot" and then "well I've got to do this and see so and so before I can leave here" o.k fair enough I give him all details he needs and leave him to it, he can explain to the customers why he's late I think.

After about twenty minutes the phone goes. It's my fellow co. worker (idiot?) he's now on his way, he's late before he starts but hey nothing new there. Has he phoned me to thank me for reminding him about the appointments? NO he's phoned me to tell me his phones flat and the fuel light is on in his van and what will he do if he runs out and breaks down? how did I reply? you ask yourself, it went like this:

"YOU ARE AN IDIOT IF YOU CARRIED YOUR MOBILE PHONE AROUND WITH YOU, YOU WOULD KNOW IT WAS FLAT BECAUSE YOU WOULD HEAR IT GOING FLAT, AND YOU TOLD ME BEFORE YOU LEFT HERE YOU NEEDED DIESEL AND THERE IS A FUEL STATION 1 MILE AWAY. MY MOBILE IS CHARGED AND MY CAR HAS FUEL IN IT AND I DON'T CARE"
He doesn't work Wednesdays so I don't know if he got around and home in one piece I will update you if it's worth blogging about.

Bad mood bear

Floor layers they are always in a mood.

Last week I used a subbie to work Friday. My regularFriday guy was already full for the day and I had two customers who wanted their installation on that day. One was at 9.30 and the other after 2.00 so the usual fitter wouldn't have wanted these jobs anyway because of the way they were timed, but at the end of the day the customers wish is my command so this is how it worked out. Hence the phone call to the subbie who was delighted to have some work off me.

You would think I had commited a crime. It's Monday now and my fellow co. worker (idiot?) who had the hump on Friday is still not speaking to me. Now it's not easy having a conversation about work with someone who will not answer you. This fellow co. worker has worked here long enough to know I would not give the subbie work in preference to him but is too stupid to recognise this. I guess we will have to suffer the silent treatment for the whole week. Or should I just use the subbie I used on Friday and make life easier for myself? that's the problem with working with "idiots" some days you think I just can't do this anymore.

I just knew

As I promisesd yesterday this is an update on the "broken finger" Aha I knew I was right it's only bruised (thank god I don't owe any one next months wages I need that to buy chocolate to help me deal with the "idiots?" the finger was hurting so much because the "idiot" had put a plaster on it and he had put it on so tight it was stopping the blood flow.

Today he has overslept "my wife was being awkward and she didn't call me" Why would you need calling up so you are ready for work when you are 63 years old? My body wakes me up in time ready for work every day even Sundays and I haven't been doing it as long as he has. I will file "my wife was being awkward and she didn't call me" in the same filing compartment as "My wife couldn't find her umberella" Any suggestions for the title of this compartment will be gratefuly received and considered.

Busy busy busy

I have not blogged for a few days because it's been busy busy busy.

We must be doing something right here because taking in to account the way the retail economy is we are doing quite well and I can tell you now it's a nice feeling.

I am forced to wonder though, why do cusomers all come in at once? I used to have the theory that when people walked by and saw someone looking around it enticed them in to have a look, but now we are situated off the high street I don't think that theory works, but it still happens, you can sit for ages with no one and then all of a sudden you get three different customers with three different requests all at the same time.

I didn't work last Saturday, it was the turn of one of my fellow co. workers (idiot?) and on Monday he was the most miserable person on this earth, so I avoided him for a couple of hours and then enquired as to what was ailing his dispositon. It was then he told me that he had been too busy on Saturdays shift so he had been unable to do all the things he had planned to do, AND he hadn't even had time for his usual cup of tea. Now don't you feel sorry for the poor guy? or would you feel more sorry for him if he was out of a job and signing on?

We are having another outbreak of illness and injury this week and that's not helping either.
Some of my fellow co. workers are suffering from some sort of horrible bug that is rendering them helpless for a day or two (when I say helpless I mean more helpless than usual) people who know me that follow my blog will know that I am married to a fellow co. worker (idiot?) and he has been rendered helpless for a day and a half with the dreaded bug, I have entertained all my other fellow co. workers with impressions of him when he is ill. At the height of the lurgy bug he needed to take paracetamol during the night so he woke me up and I handed him the tablets only to be told "I don't have the strength to get them out of the packet" what can you say to that? well I can tell you nothing that is printable. Not only did he wake me up every four hours during the night he nudged my at about 6.30 to make sure I was awake so I would be up in time to open the shop, and then when he felt better at about 4.00 in the afternoon he phoned up and started flinging orders from his sick bed!
Another fellow co. worker (idiot) has injured his finger, as I write this he is visiting his second favourite place in the whole world CASUALTY his first favourite place is the doctors surgery. he tells me his finger is broken I am willing to bet next month wages it's only bruised. I will keep you updated.

Thank god it's stopped raining

Oh my lord what happened to the weather yesterday?

I seemed to spend all day yesterday directing deliveries in the rain. Of course all the deliveries would come on a day like that wouldn't they.

One delivery the driver wanted to park on the very busy road, instead of using the perfectly adequate car park to the rear of the show room.

Another delivery person (man) wanted to deliver in to the show room, when we have a perfectly more than adequate delivery unit.

The worst delivery was made by a lovely old grandad who wanted to talk for hours, but couldn't get the delivery off because it was too heavy for him, so I had to help him, and of course the rain was lashing down.


Why oh why is there not a fellow co. worker (idiot?) available when you you need one?

The only delivery that didn't come was the one I was waiting for that should have been delivered the day before, when I phoned to see if it was coming I was told it hadn't been ordered!

Time sheets

It's that time of the month when I need the time sheets so we can pay the guys. For most of them this is not a problem. But for one fellow co. worker (idiot?) this seems to be a major challenge.You have to start reminding him a week before you need them so he can come up with the goods. This morning out he wanders with his diary, now you would think he would have it all written in there but NO. What date did this month start on? Which Saturdays have I worked, Did I do any extra time? is this a four or five week month? It really isn't that difficult is it? even if you don't fill it in every day the time sheet is a simple piece of paper. None of the other guys have a diary to write in, they do differant hours every day/week, but the fellow co. worker (idot?) who has the most problelm with the time sheets works 9-5 four days a week and one saturday in every three HOW CAN HE NOT WORK IT OUT?

Just another Monday

Today has definateley been just another Monday. No surprises today. All my fellow co. workers (idiots?) turned up for work.

whether or not they wanted to work was another matter, a particular fellow co. worker (idiot?) has really wound me up today. He has "had one of his heads" this transpires in to lots of sighing and swaying about with a furrowed brow. Now this really winds me up, for gods sake if you are ill (genuineley) then just stay at home, but if you are up and walking then I'm not interested that you have "one of your heads". I've got a head but no body wants to know how my head is feeling, and if he's not careful I will be forced to knock his stupid head off his stupid shoulders, then at least I know I wont have to listen to him moan about it again.
Another fellow co. worker (idiot) was walking through the show room today and fell down flat on her face. Down she went like a sack of spuds, "OH I FELL OVER A HUMP IN THE FLOOR" now we do have one or two undulations in our floor, but none where she fell over. Could it be the fact that she was wearing her ankle boots not zipped up? when she's not so embarrassed at the end of the week I think I'll ask her.

Nearly at the finishing post

As I have previously blogged I hate working Saturday mornings but I do like the control over the following week it gives me because I Know what's what.


This morning did not start well I have had my breakfast at my desk not a good start to any day. But I am working on my own so I don't have to worry about any other fellow co. workers (idiots) not doing things my way.



I have decided I am definately a control freak, worked my socks off for four hours serving answering the phone and doing invoices, bit in my heart of hearts I'm happy. I know all the customers have left the shop with the right product for the job, and on the whole everyone was made happy, only lost one customer who didn't even make eye contact with me so I could tell him I would be with him as soon as humanly possible, so not a bad morning.



I am going home safe in the knowledge that at least Monday morning first thing should be better than last week, and hopefuly that will be the start of a good week to come?

P.S
As well as a control freak I am an optimist.

keep on paddling

We got through yesterday and achieved the impossible once again. The sick have returned to work today, the injured are still resting until next week.

I think we (that's me and some of the idiots) all deserve a gold medal this week, it really has been a challenge to get through each day. It's been one of those weeks where nothing at all has gone right, but I'm proud to say we have come through it all and all the customers are happy. We are very weary and some are very sore but hey what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

It's weeks like this week that sorts the men out from the idiots, the men get on with the job in hand and work their way through the problems, the idiots run around complaining about how overworked the men are!
Any fellow co. workers who follow my blog will be able to work out if they are a man or an idiot!

Up the creek without a paddle

It's official it's only Thursday and this week can't get any worse, I am definatley up the creek without a paddle.

Walked in this morning 1 message on answerphone "I know this is not what you want to hear, BUT I will not be in work today because I am not well" OH MY GOD! we were already so overstretched today it was going to be a HORRIBLE day, But now it seems impossible.

Unload one van into another send two here two there and one somewhere else, maybe we can achieve the impossible once again.

NOW WHAT DO I DO? I have decided to wait until lunch time and then ring around all the sick and injured to see when they think they will be fit for work. I can't move anything foward until I know I've got the man power to cover it (so decided to write blog whilst I wait - therapy is good for me -)

In the mean time different set of fitters set out to move the fridge freezer the size of everest, this they accomplish only to find the floor is rough and this will need latexing, of course the replacement floor covering will have to be fitted at the end of the day as well, I am starting to think this day will never end. Then the phone goes "put the kettle on" three fitters come back, one for latex for "everest freezer job" two because they have forgotton to load the gripper for the next job - good job they realised, the next job was twenty four miles away! -

I am now going to make myself a cup of tea before I phone around the sick and injured, I have decided if they are not coming to work tomorrow neither am I!

Improved Karma

I can breathe a sigh of relief, some how today seems to be going better. Not a lot has changed really so it must just be how I'm dealing with things.

Positive mental attitude that must be the answer, and I'm definatley mental and always positive (that I'm right) so I've cracked it.

I had a bit of good news today, my fellow co. worker with the injured back can now walk, he can't sit down, lift or fit any carpet so it might be a while until he's any use at all, but with my new positive mental attitude I can see it's all good. Even the sun has peeped out from behind the clouds a little bit.

As they say tomorrows another day, the challenge to move the fridge freezer the size of mount everest is on again tomorrow, so my poitive mental attitude might just defrost along with the freezer!

Bad karma

I nearly didn't blog again today because so far this weeks been so bad it contains no humour. And if it 'aint funny I don't really want to blog about it.



I sometimes think that it's in the stars that I'm meant to have a bad day. Sometimes I just know it's going to be that way even before I've put the open sign out, you just get this feeling and unfortunately that feeling doesn't usually let me down.



Today I have had deliveries that didn't deliver, fridge freezers bigger than mount everest that couldn't be moved, a fellow co. worker who can't walk because he put his back out last week, a fellow co. workers spouse with suspected swine flu, a fellow co. workers spouse with food poisening, a fellow co. worker with a serious confirmed case of the miseries and it's rained non stop all day making even me feel miserable.

I am hoping for a better day tomorrow!

I'm too busy

In my opinion you can't be too busy when you are offering a service, especially as we are in a recession.



"manic bloody manic" readers of my blog who are familiar with our outlet will know the fellow co. worker (idiot) that always over uses this phrase.



If the fellow co. worker (idiot) has got to do more than one thing at a time he thinks he is overworked. This week has been a busy week, which I think is great, but my fellow co. worker does not agree, now this fellow co. worker starts later in the mornings than any one else, is ready to run at the stroke of 5.00 and only works four days a week. How on earth does he expect to be on top of everything? so instead of starting a bit earlier or finishing a bit later or even god forbid doing an extra half a day he is just moving around in circles. It all takes longer as well if he is going out to measure because he keeps coming backwards and forwards checking he has got everything which is amusing to watch but really eats in to his day.



The same fellow co. worker also takes so long to answer a question it's painfull, five minutes ago I asked if a price included the V.A.T "it should do" was his reply. What kind of answer is that? it is either a yes or a No it is definately not a should do. Sometimes he goes on and on with an answer, but it's not the answer to the question you asked, it's an answer not related. No wonder he can't fit it all in I think he might working in a parallel world to mine.

I hate being right

I was right yesterday, back he came and we had the usual discussion about late, "she was all right with me" she did not say a word to him not even a hint that she was annoyed.

And then in she comes it's 4.40 and we are supposed to close at 5.00"I'm the easiest customer in the world" she said, OH NO I hate those words that usually means don't even try 'cause you can't please me.

"I want the lightest colour you can find me" so we did, "yes yes and I'll match that with that" job done and it's only 4.55 hoooray.

NO don't be rediculous "sorry" says the supplier "that range is being revamped no stock of that colour and the new colours not available until September."

Right let's re-group and try again, let's try another colour? three colours later, not enough stock of any to fulfill the order 5 o'clock has come and gone. We go on the internet and source samples of the new colours, but no one has got any of the product yet, so that's no good. I encourage a fellow co. worker (idiot) in to a corner and finally persuade him to show her a completeley different product, why he hadn't done this twenty minutes earlier instead of looking at me and willing me to find from somewhere enough of the discontinued product I do not know.

Problem solved....


If I had not had a chat with my fellow co. workerI think he would have still been trying to source the dicontinued product this time next week.

Another happy customer leaves the store, and to be fair she really was easy to please, she didn't fuss when her first choice was not available and happily matched other items to the new product, let's just hope the floor layer's not late on the day of installation.

I hate late

I really hate people who are late it really annoys me, I am one of those people in the world that if I say I will be at a place at a certain time, I am always there at least ten minutes before, and then I have to hang around some where, well I don't want to be too early because that's not right either.



I wish one of my fellow co. workers was like this. He is always late, today he had an appointment at 10.30 the journey was going to take him at least 15 - 20 minutes then he will have to find the address etc. He left to go for the appointment at 10.31 hence a phone call at 10.40 from the prospective customer where is he? she obviously does not like late either because she was not best pleased, the other thing is he will just not sense that she is annoyed with him when he gets there. He will come back in and we will have the usual discussion about his time keeping and he will tell me she was all right with him, and probably he will tell me she didn't even mention it. I don't know how this occurs but people always phone and have a really good rant when he's not on time but it doesn't seem to bother him, he's the same about returning phone calls, he never does it, "you must make him phone me" well aside from holding the phone to his ear and pressing his fingers on the buttons how am I supposed to do that? I can give him the message, but I can't make him do anything, god knows I have tried. It really is the most frustrating thing in the world when you know a persons faults but you can't do anything about them.

Eat my words

Today I might have to eat my words, so far so good no cross over problems from Saturday to deal with today, I might just have to put it in my diary 'cause I don't know if it will ever happen again, I am wondering if fellow co. workers are following my blog and this is making them try harder? I do hope this is the case, and then I will no longer need to be in blog therapy about fellow co. workers.



I will definately still need blog therapy re: builders and customers so blog will continue.



This is an instance why I need blog therapy because of builders:

Today at 10.30 telephone rings "please could you tell us what time your floor layer will be at (so and so)" Ah now thinks I, this takes me back to last week when so and so address was mentioned by worker of building company, and our floor layer checked with me and I had no sizes or colours for this address, so told worker of building company to contact his office so we could get these things in progress, of course he did not do this.



When I phoned the building company back later the lady who organises things their end told me she had e-mailed me about this job, "yes" I told her "you did, but you didn't give us any sizes or colours" "OH but I've been on holiday" Now I'm not sure if I was supposed to send a floor layer out to fit fresh air or what, but she just didn't get it wasn't happening today. When I finally received colours and sizes today I e-mailed back immediately with a day for the end of the week, and asked for a reply to confirm this would be acceptable before the order is placed for the materials, NOTHING has come back should I assume its OK? no I think not assuming is a dangerous game, so I will just have to wait, I know she only works mornings so we will be another day down the line before anything is confirmed or not as the case may be. (I will expect another phone call at he end of the week) "can you tell me what time your floor layer is coming today please..."

what are they doing?

NowI have finsished all the home jobs that need doing when the weekend comes, I've got time to consider what could have occured today at work.

You see it's my Saturday off but I just can't relax even though I hate working Saturdays at least I'm in control when I'm there

I just some how know that Monday morning is going to be extra difficult, I don't know how so much can get confused in just four short hours.


Usually when I have not worked the Saturday I spend most of Monday apologising for not having done the things that the Saturday workers say I will do first thing Monday morning, the thing is they don't tell me I'm supposed to do them, now I am quite intuitive but I'm not a mind reader.

I have a message book and anything that goes in there will get done (I'm good like that) but unfortunatley most of the time they don't write it down.

One Saturday the two that are working today left the open sign out on the pavement (just waiting to be thrown through the window) "oh they forgot" the thing is they both drove past the damn thing on their way home!

What can you do with people like that?

The end of the week

You know you've reached a Friday

'cause your work is nearly done

You know you've reached a Friday

'cause your patience is all gone!



Hooray





Whe it gets to five 0'clock

I can pick up all my things

I can rush out through the warehouse

like I have grown a set of wings

I get to spend the weekend

doing all the things I want

'cause soon it will be Monday

and then I know i can't.

where is it?

Why do fellow co. workers (idiots) expect you to know where they have left things?
I think I have spent half of my working life looking for things my fellow co. workers have lost.

Fine pencil (can't work with anything else) van keys (need to find them in a hurry should have been somewhere ten minutes ago) mobile phone (can I ring it they are damn sure it's here somewhere -we get no network half of the time so it's not going to ring-) very important pieces of paper (they only had it five minutes ago and now it's disappeared into thin air)

Some days I get bloody minded and think NO I'm not going to look for what ever it is they have lost, then I get to here and see them huffing about looking under and over things for the elusive object. After a couple of hours I can't stand it any more and I give in, I know I will find it I just have to be methodical and it will wonderously appear. I don't think I have failed yet, it might even be weeks after the event (after a re-measure possibly) and then the object appears usually stuck underneath something or attatched to something totally unrelated that is right under their nose and has been all the time!

such a blogable day

when I sit and muse about what to put in my blog it sets my mind to work. Today has had a lot of happenings that I want to include but I don't want to become boring, so I think I will just keep typing give it a bit of an edit and then 'post' and see what I have come up with.

As I am trying to type this, a fellow co. worker is sat next to me form filling, asking me to spell all the words for him, how can I think when I am spelling random words for someone else? random words I might add for a form about waste disposal, I mean waste disposal it's not very glamorous is it? I think it might have been easier if I just filled the form in myself.

It's been a bit of plywood day, first request of the day was for supply only of an 8' x 4' piece of ply, oh we don't sell 8' x 4' I cheerfully replied but we do sell 4' x 2' would you like some of that? ah that would be so good said the customer I was wondering how I was going to carry an 8' x 4' sheet, so why did he ask for an 8' x 4' when he could have asked for a 2 x 4' x 2'? it must be a man thing.

See now that's got me thinking again, is it that I work with idiots that makes my life so difficult? or is it because the majority of them are men? you see a man really cannot multi task, if they are doing one thing then that's it, game over, don't ask them something don't tell them something, because they just don't take it in, it's like you don't exist around goes the leather executive chair, the shoulders get hunched and I really am not in the eye line. Of course the one task they are doing is so much more important than anything I should be doing.

over the last few days I have overheard:
Have you collected the van from the M.O.T "no I forgot - I didn't know I was supposed to-"(for this read I just couldn't be bothered)
I forgot to make my sandwitches (for this read I couldn't be bothered to make my sandwitches)
I didn't know he was working today (when he had taken the message confirming the work for today)
The order been placed and confirmed but it's just not here (for this read I didn't order it)

I am going to call these things manisms:

some people just take the biscuit.

One of the better days in retail today, a fairly busy day with plenty of purchasers. Days like today are the ones that can challenge my fellow co. workers (idiots) My day started quite early today I must have had a sixth sense that it was going to be busier . It's when the stragglers arrive that my day can become more interesting.The best reason for lateness so far in working in this job has been " I am late because my wife couldn't find her umberella" now how this affected the fellow co. worker getting in to his vehichle and arriving on time I still can't work out, I suppose this will always remain a mystery to me.

I am often to be heard telling my fellow co. workers you can't kid a kidder, I know when some one is trying to baffle me with bull s***, because I can use a bit bull when I need to, but some of them are still brave enough to give it a go.

I am looking forward to a more peaceful day tomorrow, so it will give me more time to work on my blog.

the brown rem. saga continues

After I pondered the brown rem. saga over the weekend, I decided I would try and put it out of my mind and do my self a favour. I am never going to know what happened to it, so why worry my head about it. This worked for about two hours, then I spy the customer pass my window, in they breeze expecting the brown rem. mystery to be solved! Why is my life never simple?
I looked for support from my fellow co. workers who were in work the day the rem. was selected, no support was forthcoming.

Who's had the brown rem?

I am setting up an investigation. Who has taken the brown rem. marked as sold?
Apparently (I say this because I was not in work Friday and Monday) a brown rem. was sold on Friday. But when I came to work on Tuesday and was going to take the money for this item it was not there. I could not start my investigatioin until yesterday when I could ask the appropriate fellow co. worker (idiot?) if they had sold the brown rem. marked sold to another person. I was informed they had sold a rem. but it was not brown it was gold and they did not see a sold label on it.
Now I am confuddled, do I need to investigate further? was the original brown rem. marked as sold on Friday actually gold? or was the gold rem. sold on Saturday actually brown? or was the brown rem. brown and the gold rem. gold and someone has taken the brown rem?

I am going to ponder this matter over the weekend, I will decide on Monday whether I need to investigate further, or whether I will concede defeat and just live with the fact that when you work with idiots and you are not at work you will just never know what they have done.

fridays can be funny days

well the thunder didn't come so the idiots are still hot, but hey what the heck if we survived yesterday i'm sure we will survive today.

Today we have had the great tape measure dilemma
one of my fellow co. workers has bought a new tape measure, would I like the old one? I was asked. Well I thought it's big and blue so I should be able to find it amongst the samples, when I leave it where I shouldn't, so I accepted it. There my dilemma began. I was then told that the tape measure was replaced because it "ripped his fingers to shreds" and he was embarrassed when bleeding all over the place at the end of a measure. This posed the question, Why would I want a tape measure that was going to cut my fingers? I was then subjected to a demonstration on how the tape measure was going to cut my fingers.

Now forgive me if I am wrong, but wouldn't a normal person just replace the tape measure and throw the obviously damaged one away? The tape measure is now in the skip!

Sunny days and retail

People don't want to shop on sunny days, so they need a bit of encouragment and it's our job to encourage them. Working with idiots does not make this easy. Long faces because 'THEY' are hot, huffs and puffs because all the telephone messages are building up and 'THEY' are hot. Of course i'm not hot, I don't mind running around trying to find 'THEM' to pass on the messages, I don't mind that the messages have already been conveyed at least once, of course they didn't take it in 'THEY' are hot! Roll on the thunder storms that we have been promised because then 'THEY' will be cooler? NO how could I be so stupid if the thunder storms do come i'm pretty sure it will give 'THEM' a headache!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

This is the first day of my blog. I thought I might like to write a book the idiots guide to working with idiots, but I think that might have been done, so I had a re-think and thought a blog might be the answer.

I work in a flooring company (retail and commercial) and i'm not sure, it might just be me, but I think the people I work with are idiots. Today is a good day, two of the idiot people I work with don't work Wednesdays, and this week is a short week for me because I didn't work Monday so all in all it could be a good one all round.

If you would like to follow my blog I will try and keep you updated with the happenings in my days, and you can decide for yourself if the idiots I work with are idiots or if I am wrong.

I will try to keep it as real as possible it should be entertaining!